Forget Ka-buda, Guka Has Hit the Jackpot!

Kuna huyu mwanamke wa fote-fae ako na dota ya 20 hivi. Anauza nguo pale West. Mwanamke ni msoto kupindukia - kila wakati ni kulialia vile maisha ni ngumu.

So, she has been throwing hints eti I can be her sponsor, but I don’t feel her; I am not ferking old pussi ever again. I mean, I want the average age on the bed when I am with a gal to be no more than 42, and seeing that I am 64…

Anyways, this kiwoman is chatting me up as I down my White CUP and she wants a loan of Sh10,ooo. I know if I dare fork out the money, that’s the end. I am like, si you give me that thing you carry kwanza as an incentive? And she’s like "I thought you’d never ask’.

Kidogo kidogo she mentions her daughter sijui needs to go to college and I am like, haiya, you mean you have a grown up daughter like that? Ama ‘uniuzie’ huyo, I say jokingly.

Stupid woman says something in Kikuyu that left my head spinning.

“Guka, oo mundu ee kiino giake. Weda giakwa no sawa. Weda giake no sawa. Mundu ni kwiyariria, nie ndiri na thina. Githi ndarekwo0 ni nugu ingi nakuu na itiramuteithia? Bata tuu ndugatwike matharao ma gutuhurithania kana gutucambia…”

{Guka, kila mtu ako na coomer yake. Ukitaka yangu, sawa. Ukitaka yake, sawa. Bora tu ujitetee kwake, mimi sina shida. Si hata anadinywa huko nnje na nugu hazimsaidii? Lakini usitufanye madharao ya kutugonganisha ama ya kufanya tukosewe heshima…}

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems I have on the table an offer to fulfill one of my fantasies; to ferk a mother one day and her daughter the next, ad infintum. If that’s not better than winning the Sportpesa jackpot tell me what is (OK, may be having a threesome with twins, jehova!)

i have ferked a mom,daugher and her aunt for free na hatusumbui

A 3-some with the mother and daughter would be better. Just ensure your pacemaker’s battery pack is fully charged before the mission.

:smiley:

Without an illustrated heckayah, hii ni mushene tuu…

I am taking this as an offer? Jeez, it’s raining fantasies now!

Aii, mzee!! let me not comment.

Juzi ulikua 69, sasa uko 64, kwani unamea na reverse @FieldMarshal CouchP ?

Hii mambo ya kuku na vifaranga tulisema tuwache Kenchic?

kuku na kifaranga

Is this an abomination (ahem!)? Kitu kama hii ilikuwa inakubaliwa kimila na kidesturi? (Ok, I know Jengs had some weird practices, but I mean by a majority of tribes). Pris pris pris advise before I commit something haram…

:D:D I laughed out loud, kiiino. Someone thinks I am loosing my marbles.

I always thought when we age the wiser we become but for you guks, the reverse is true. My advice, go ahead and do it and I hope she cuts off your gonads.

Si watu wamerogwa jameni.

Lakini hii culture ya sponsor inabore sana. Kila mwanamke naongea naye anataka pesa which leaves me wondering…na sitaki chochote kutoka kwao.

The strange case of Benjamin @FieldMarshal Guka!

Heheh like growing roots at the expense of leaves?

@FieldMarshal CouchP = Benjamin Button…

Picha ya mama Wa kindu 40yrs na daughter wake ama hakuna jackpot.

Uki fork hiyo pesa hakuna kurudishiwa…kuna mwingine nilimpa pesa kumdai akasema huwa halipi pesa kama amesimama…Imenibidi niwe nakula hiyo kwa installments tu…

@FieldMarshal CouchP kula vitu dry fry.You have a few years to live and you should make every fucking moment count.