Kuna huyu mwanamke wa fote-fae ako na dota ya 20 hivi. Anauza nguo pale West. Mwanamke ni msoto kupindukia - kila wakati ni kulialia vile maisha ni ngumu.
So, she has been throwing hints eti I can be her sponsor, but I don’t feel her; I am not ferking old pussi ever again. I mean, I want the average age on the bed when I am with a gal to be no more than 42, and seeing that I am 64…
Anyways, this kiwoman is chatting me up as I down my White CUP and she wants a loan of Sh10,ooo. I know if I dare fork out the money, that’s the end. I am like, si you give me that thing you carry kwanza as an incentive? And she’s like "I thought you’d never ask’.
Kidogo kidogo she mentions her daughter sijui needs to go to college and I am like, haiya, you mean you have a grown up daughter like that? Ama ‘uniuzie’ huyo, I say jokingly.
Stupid woman says something in Kikuyu that left my head spinning.
“Guka, oo mundu ee kiino giake. Weda giakwa no sawa. Weda giake no sawa. Mundu ni kwiyariria, nie ndiri na thina. Githi ndarekwo0 ni nugu ingi nakuu na itiramuteithia? Bata tuu ndugatwike matharao ma gutuhurithania kana gutucambia…”
{Guka, kila mtu ako na coomer yake. Ukitaka yangu, sawa. Ukitaka yake, sawa. Bora tu ujitetee kwake, mimi sina shida. Si hata anadinywa huko nnje na nugu hazimsaidii? Lakini usitufanye madharao ya kutugonganisha ama ya kufanya tukosewe heshima…}
Ladies and gentlemen, it seems I have on the table an offer to fulfill one of my fantasies; to ferk a mother one day and her daughter the next, ad infintum. If that’s not better than winning the Sportpesa jackpot tell me what is (OK, may be having a threesome with twins, jehova!)