False “abuse” Allegations
You can count on seeing this bull–deleted-- if you are a man. You were mean to her, you were mean to the kid(s), you kicked the dog and choked her cat. Expect this. These outright fabrications will no doubt be written in some journal or diary, probably years worth written with the same color ink. What a crock of --deleted–. The times will be noted like this…… Tuesday, May 5th, 2008 at 4:07PM (it was cloudy and warm)…… Seriously. They will be so well documented because they are made up long after the actual NON INCIDENT. They are fake. Fabrication, unsubstantiated allegations, outright lies, invention and conjecture. Because it is more believable, allegations of sexual abuse will more likely be made if you were dumb enough to marry a single mother. Those are her kids and guess who they will side with in all of this? Don’t be surprised if the teen step-daughter you helped at every turn now says you spied on her in the shower. How will you prove you didn’t? Simple, you cannot. Any questions about who the judge will believe? Oh, they have some DNA that matches you that was found in her underwear. Impossible? No, too --deleted–ing easy. All she has to do is snag a pair of mom’s dirty underwear, put them on, and go down for the rape exam. You yelled, slammed doors and she had to get a restraining order because she feared for her kids and their safety. Even if these are your biological children, this will be used against you.
Solution: First, no matter what, never meet the ex to “talk” unless it is in front of a judge or mediator. DO NOT --deleted–ING DO IT!!! Never be alone with her kids especially if they are female teens. She says she signed off on the restraining order…… Really? If she did, the cops and court will notify you of that. Do not believe a word she says. Her attorney is even less credible than she is. Next, keep your own journal of EVERYTHING that happens. Never use threatening language or show anger. Be factual and accurate. Include the names of witnesses. If you can record her without her knowing, and this is legal where you reside, do it. Make sure you push her buttons, just like she will do to you, before you start recording.
As soon as you know what is going on…… go see a counselor about your fears regarding this vindictive woman who has threatened to do these things to you. Fill the counselor in on how she has threatened you and how you fear it will affect you and your children. Bring your journal where you have noted the details of these threats to “screw” you. If you have kids, bring them on the second appointment. Let the kids talk to her (or him) alone, right away, only if you know they can communicate without just repeating what their mom coached them on. This is a gamble because she was likely planning all this before you had any idea. Know the names of your child’s teachers. Talk to them at school conferences. Know the name of the primary care doctor your children see. You will be asked these things to determine how involved you are in your children’s lives. Know their favorite color and who their best friends are. Volunteer at every turn to work with kids in a safe setting (Boy’s and Girl’s Club, Cub Scouts, Youth Sports, etc.) It is even better if your kids are involved with these activities and impartial witnesses can see you interacting with them. Always note any and all activities you and the kids do. Most important, this is not the kid’s fault. You --deleted–ed up and married. Women use the kids as weapons enough on their own. If her attorney hand picks a guardian ad litem, get a different one (preferably from out of town). If there are police reports, get copies of them. Better for you if they detail her “crazy” behavior and not yours. Never lose your cool with her or the kids no matter how much she deserves it.