First time to speak english

Kwanza for those who schooled in rural public schools, what was your first time like?

For me, i was the class prefect of one standard 4class at Gathigiriri primary school and being the talkative,they expected to change my normal chaotic ways. Now, it happened this morning i was to speak about the merits of being clean as part of home science homework.See, here i am looking at all those shiny eyes, guys age of my grandpa, the village bullies,perverts and the likes of Andy cap -guys who had shares with the school admin and lived as if they owned it.

You could tell they were waiting for orders to go on riot or something. Hapo ndio niliskia mdomo umepanuka(egg shape), mate kuisha, felt weak, nikaskia kisunzi na kuhara at the same time. I bet these were the vernacular withdrawal symptoms and no one had an idea they were killing me before i even got my first pubic hair.

What i know is that nilijaribu kutupa lines here and there with shouting whenever i remembered the English word. something like, "mmmmmmmmmmm…clean NAILS…mmmmmmmmmmmmhhh…kombu HAIR!

Friends always tell me i screamed , fainted and released a traumatizing fart when i tried to go for the next sentence.
The following video have hiccups of the same only that she is a grown up.

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I’ll never forget this fellow from Nyahururu who uttered the immortal words ‘Give me a small water’. For the next four years, he was called ‘small water’ as his nickname.:slight_smile:

I once shouted something about ‘entertainments’ one Saturday evening and a senior pupil who was then in class 7 followed me all the way to my then class 5 to tell me it was simply ‘entertainment’.:slight_smile:

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This village will be the death of me! :eek::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7RgN9ijwE4

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@admin, make this guy a moderator ASAP…alianza kazi kitambo! @introvert will be ready with his Tata incase osungu.dll is threatened!

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…there was this guy who went to report a fellow student.
…he kill me here and here!
c.c.
@gashwin, @Eng’iti, @ogooti, et al.

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:D:D:D

hahaha now this is real translation! Hahaha! Boy

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Ong’itire igaa na igaa!

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Haha translation gone terribly wrong

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There was a time my cube mates recorded osung.dll instances while in form two. Then in a magical moment I called myself a “surfifer” while narrating how I had escaped from an encounter with the deputy headmaster… For the next week I was surfifer until the next osungu.dll victim came to my rescue.

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There was a time my cube mates and I recorded osung.dll instances while in form two. Then in a magical moment I called myself a “surfifer” while narrating how I had escaped from an encounter with the deputy headmaster… For the next week I was surfifer until the next osungu.dll victim came to my rescue.

Baraza was my classmate. One day a teacher found him making noise.
T:Baraza why are you making noise
B: Ayamunt
From that day he be came Ayamunt then later Ayaa

Remunds me of my high school teacher who said “I was hurt in this country” [naumiete ense eye]

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:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

There was this guy called Dick Waweru who rose from a councillor to then Mayor of Nairobi. He was once involved in a scuffle with another councillor and when the press asked him what it was all about he replied. ‘he is the one who started the fight, he hit me in the ritho’,:D:D,
He’s also the one who started the infamous’ forkojembe’ that Maina Kageni uses.

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:D:D:D

SITOP “Remund-ing far” …Seek @gashwin and @introvert 's services coz he simply “hurted the country and you”

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There is a classmate we nicknamed “AnyoNeh”… when reading an English paragraph he read the word “anyone” in swahili.

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can’t stop laughing…

There was this newcomer from the lakebasin and mwalimu asked him to Name an object in the book and the lad Shouted " tong" and what he meant was an Egg but in luo. He later was baptized tong

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