Fauzia, Saumu

sister act
You have all seen the findeo of the Zambian being beaten with metal bars for dating a chinku, well, it almost happened to me hapahapa 001 eons ago, I escaped by the skin of my teeth. Lets start from the beginning.

Had escaped the heat in Githu 45 in 1990 and had landed in the land of the rising sun, through contacts from subcounty likua mepata lift kwa lori ya mboga na sukuma and thus found myself in a brand new Kongowea market, tulifika asubuhi 6 and by 9 had sold kila kitu ikakua nikurudi ndio kawaambia mie siendi popote, had money in my pocket na ata beach likua sijaona, so nikaachwa. I sampled all the beaches and discotheques, Mamba, Tembo, borabora zilikua zavuma vilivyo. A week later I found myself low on cash, had only 50 bob, twas time to look for an income generating activity and nikajipata kongowea again. My guys wa canter were there tukauza mboga lakini hazikuisha, as they had to go nikaachiwa niuze till they come back again niwape pesa.

Kongowea market those days was closing at 12 noon kila my anatolewa inje, was no problem for me since pesa ilikua kwa mfuko, would go to the beach hadi jioni and the party the night out lakini sikua nachelewa kufika sokoni by 5am ikifunguliwa. Maisha kaa hio as you know led me to meet the kriminos I was escaping from githu, kwanza walinipendea kufunga weed, mimi nilikua nafunga kolomboo. Kolomboo ni ile inakaa kaa cone. Note ya 10 bob ukiifunga na katwig (like a flag) was the secret, could roll five in two minutes. Guys were amazed by my skill na nikakaribishwa kwa high table, the riffruffs called themselves Srilanka. Didn’t tell them I came from a bad ass group known as Kona mbaya.

With money flowing in as by now watu nguyas wa counter walikua wameniamini wananiachia mzigo it was time to take a hse, mimi huyoo hse hunting kapata nyumba Mlaleo (can you say that In English) a newly built Swahili hse ata stima ilikua bado wekwa, rent was 400 for a single room. Alafu kwa wale wanajua nyumba za Kiswahili hua ziko na baraza, yaani veranda imetengezwa kaa kiti, mahali mnakaa jioni to escape the heat in the hse, our hse had a baraza all round and it also had a back door hapo karibu na choo.

Kitu ya kwanza kununua was a zuria then mattress na stove, at least I had a hse to call my own. After two more weeks ya kupata pesa kongowea I went hunting for a car radio, siku hizo zilikua za cassettes, luck was on my side kapata Sony ya autoreverse na speaker zake, kwa fundi mbio mbio kajengewa cabinet alafu kanunua battery. Our plot bado haikua na stima. Acha ngoma igurume.

My daily routine was waking up at 4:30, pika kahawa then jogging hadi kongowea intime soko ikifunguliwa 5am, nakamata mzigo wangu nauza wholesale huku ni fanya ubroker pande zingine and by 10am pesa ilikuaga kwa mfuko. Ohh, I forgot to say about miraa (mugoks haikua). Gari Toyota mbikups zilikua zaingia by 6 in the morning tunajikamatia kangeta whisky, ile export grade. Soko ikifungwa tulikua twaenda uwanja ya mbuzi kwa butchery ya wakanyama kaa tumebeba makadhalika yoote ya soko tunaagizia kilo mbili yoote inaboiliwa pamoja tunatia ndani. Afterwards with nothing to do ilikua tunaishia nyali beach kutafuna miraa hadi 7pm then I would head to my man cave kumalizia kangeta

Life was good lakini shetwani kumbe alikua ananifanyia tizi

musubcounty mbona mikora yote ya subcounty hupotelea huko,kuna mwingine tulizika kitambo kidogo hao wagiriama waliroga yeye,manyama ilikuwa inatoka kwa mdomo

Maliza hekaya dereva ya tulela mwisi.

wacha akamue mafuta

nimewacha like kama deposit, nitakuja kusoma

Opposite ile nyumba nilikua nakaa hapo mlaleo was a wholesale shop, family run muarabu business, vile walijua niko sokoni kapewa kazi ya kuwaletea tomato na spinach zile nilikua Napata from bara, every morning would load a mkokoteni yao alafu pesa nilikua napewa jioni saa mbili saa tatu nikifika.

Now, hapa kulikua wale waswahili wakujifunika kabisa, yaani unaona mkono tu na macho behind the counter, over time likua mekuja kujua two girls there, Fauzia older than me like by 2 yrs and Fauzia, ka dame ka form four star of the sea school. Kila saa nikienda chukua pesa was getting the dad tunabonga kidogo alafu naishia kula miraa, only time mie kupata waschana was ile siku mefika mchana and wanted to replenish my stock of Big G ili kangeta ishuke poa. One more thing TBT, we used to buy sprite and make a tiny hole kwa bottle top, ilikua hatufungui, this sprite would last a whole night.

Mdogo mdogo body language ilianza lakini kwangu mie this was just wishful thinking, not in this world would I get to bang this pussies, nilikua nakula kwa macho tu. Nikiimagine hizo body hiden by those buibui life juice ilikua yaanza kumwagika.

Their bro nae abdi was another one, kwa base ya weed hungemkosa, by order ilikua nikifika usiku from beach lazima nipitie base kuwafungia kolomboo alafu kuwapea kangeta, Meria was a hit there, alafu kwa ile baraza outside my room hapo ndio tulikua tunamaliziz veve, right opposite the shop ya kina Fauzia na Saumu, huku natafuna miraa inside nameza mate tu, si hawa waarabu waswahili walikua wameumbwa vipoa.

Funny thing happened one day wakati plot yetu ya Kiswahili ilipata stima, I started leaving my autoreverse radio on lakini kwa radio not cassette, one day had come home early kajiwekelea kwa kitanda kadoze, kushtukia kaskia national anthem kwa radio, Ngai, kajua ni 5am mechelewa kwenda sokoni, had no time to make my coffee, litoka chwa, mbio hadi kongowea only to find its 12:30am, hehe, had to sleep there lakini hio usiku nilichanuka sana, kumbe gari zikiingia mzigo hufanywa circus, hehe, by morning we had several gunias ya bidhaa, cartel ya watchmen, drivers na turnboys. More money for me as I was an established seller.

Eating today

I scrolled down to make sure amemaliza hekaya
…kuna mingi zinabakingi hivo nikijiuliza maswali mengi

hehe. nice try
Kitu ingine nilijua ni eti in Msa usiwai peana pesa na mkono ya left, hii ni mkono ya kuosha ninii. Would go to kina Fauzias shop kangeta kwa mkono ya right note ya mia mbili which was the highest currency then kwa mkono ya left and then nobody would serve me till ile siku Saumu told me why. Hio hua wanaconsider ni madharau

Wueh, sema pesa kuingia after kulearn hii kazi ya usiku, instead of nipewe mzigo na deni na watu wangu wa canter started paying them cash wakifika, sema man cave kungara, was the first one in the Swahili hse to by a fridge na TV, alfu was always intrigued by hawa watu wa duka, they had a big mesh satellite dish, wondered and wondered what it was for till one day Abdi their bro smuggled me into their hse kaona a decoder for the first time. Mimi huyoo was hooked. Siku moja jioni tukiwa na mzee kamuuliza hio setup pesa nga akasema 300k nyee zikaja kwa throat.

Sasa mimi huyoo, established broker/thief and I could order the suppliers around, kazi ilikua nikuangushiwa mzigo mzigo niuze nikutumie pesa. Hapa ndio tunakuja TBT. Siku hizo was money order via posta then unasidiria na Telegram (sio ile mko nayo saa hii ya MMNN tumetoka mbali) soko ikifungwa saa sita would head to GPO in town to do my transactions and also check on my msgs. Afterwards would head to nyali beach kutafuna kangeta. Life indeed was good.

Shetani amekaribia (ako bypass, mie hukumbuka nalia)

Yaani halima alifanya uwache kazi mzuri hivyo. Malizia hekaya before nilewe.

Siku moja mimi huyoo, meachiwa canter mbili ya mboga na bidhaa (kwa kazi yote lazima uwe trust worthy) watu wa subconty walikua wanakimbia Naks kuchukua vitunguu huko na bei ya kutupa so after kumwaga mzigo wakaishia, mimi meria niuze nitume pesa kaa kawa, soko was good and by 11am had finished, was loaded like shit pesa ya wenyewe, yangu was 10% only, kaacha watu wa job wakifunga kakimbia GPO, ile line nilipata huko, waah. Twas end month kila mtu alikua anatuma pesa home, alafu lazima foleni ya telegram kwanza then ya moneyorder, shaiit! Sinilikaa kule. Posta was in its death bed, the women serving us there were like they we doing us a favor, yaani mtu anaenda lunch for two hrs anaacha customer kwa line. Lifumilia tu as the line ya money order got longer. Finally sent a signal (hivo ndivo telegram ilikua eti natuma kiasi flani) then went to foleni (fall in, from NYS) ya money order.

Had my whisky kangeta ile ya red for export kwa mfuko, as a law abiding citizen singetafuna hapo na ilikua inaniwasha, we used to wear tight jeans alafu kwa mfuko ya nyuma you had to advertise unatafunanga, matawi ilikuwanga inahung hapo (btw sijawai kula mugoks). Finally by 3pm I was served katuma pesa, phew. Program yangu ilikua ishaharibika singeenda beach so decided to walk home to Mlaleo, had enough time to kill

Mimi huyoo kaanza safari, hapo bondeni found a crowd gathered wanaskiza a kanzu clad bearded thin guy giving a fiery speech, later came to know it was Sheikh Balala, ile kitu nilishika kwake eti ni “adui wa muislamu ni muislamu mwenzake” and this applys to all of us, we are our own enemies.

Mimi huyoo, bondeni then kafika bridge, I reached into my socks katoa kolomboo niwashe, upepo nayo, after like 10 matchsticks kaona niupus katoa ka fegi ambako kaliwaka fasta then kachoma bom on the bridge. Kufika katikati kasimama kaangalia chini, waah, kaona like its 10 kms deep kajipa shugli kaelekea home.

Kufika lights kaona watu wamejaa kwa duka moja as meria hua anapenda udaku pia kasongea nijue yanayojiri, kumbe anauza cassette za lucky dube, he was the in thing in 1990, album Prisoner nikanunua for 200 bob, I hurried home nikaiweke niskize.

Before niingie man cave had to pass by the weed base, guys were surprised but happy to see me this early na kawaundia kolomboo, kavuta weed ingine which could put an elephant down lakini Meria from sokoni alikuaga anakula poa. Infact was not taking supper, just kahawa tungu tu na kaimati.

Soon enough kafika, sloted my new tape in my car radio kaachilia mziki, whoofers were unheard off those days, mtungi ya maji used to do the magic, after kitu ten minutes kaona nasumbua watu, so switched on to hesdphones, another TBT, headphones zooote za early 90s were from KLM airline, sijui vile zilikua zapatikana but that’s what we had. Kazidungilia kajiwekelea kwa bed kiskiza Lucky dube akiimba prisoner, “they wont build no schools anymore, all they build is prison prison” haiya kaona am out of Big G kakimbia kwa duka kachukua kumi ili kangeta itelemke, wondered about my guys in the beach lakini kasema whathe ferk!

kieleweke maliza hekaya @Nefertities anataka tulale,shaitan

Back in man cave headphones kwamaskio bangi inanionyesha mie ni pilot wa space shuttle kaskia kaperfume exitic kananuka, was still in dreamland ya weed kainusa tena, it seeamed so real, could feel it could touch it, Whaaaat! Kaamka

On top of me was Fauzia, jeeeso Ngai wa iburahimu, fisi ni fisi, akiri ya fisi ikauliza umefunga mlango? Kumbe ilikua wazi. Ngai

Above me was Fauzia in all her beauty without buibui, my heart stopped beating for a minute, my mind was working overtime, am I dreamining amah ii ni live, in my dream nikamuweka kando, went to chooo kukojoa but haikutoka, went back to my now nicely smelling room kapata Fauzia mwenyewe, akiyamungu buibui huficha vitu, mimi kwanza niliuma kidogo kwa kidole yake alafu kajipiga kofi niamke. Infront of me at 5pm was a naked Fauzia

Nikafanya alama ya msalaba

Ngai wa iburahimu nindachokia ngatho niundu wa ichi wa hee umuthi

Swallow Saliva Rikia Hekaya Na Utige Ubia Shait

nimechoka kutype, kesho namalizia

Muguruki Grade A.

Sawa. We shall not sleep. Waiting…

hiyo hekaya inafaa ikue published…