FATHERS, ESPECIALLY THE SINGLE ONES

[Mboch_Kiburi]

They are rarely appreciated, acknowledged or celebrated. No one pays mind to their struggles and they do go through many in silence, they suck it up and do their duty as they are expected to. Many at times they are seen as having a problem because of the situation they are in, yet if they did the opposite, (in this case re marrying soon after in order to have someone help raise their kids) much would still be said.

I am talking of single fathers. Men who because of one reason or the other (widowhood, nasty divorces, or the rare case when a woman ups and leaves her child/children and never looks back) find themselves raising their children by themselves. Those that chose to raise their offspring rather than dump them on their aged parents. Then a man finds himself having to learn all manner of things that he had never paid any or much mind to. From cooking, cleaning them and cleaning up after them, learning their favorite colors, their favourite foods, their weaknesses, their friends. This should be/was mummy’s forte, but she is not here anymore. It is hardest for single dads raising girls, having to worry about who will do her hair, who will teach her how to handle menses when they come, shopping for her clothes, teaching her basic skills like cleaning, washing, cooking. A guy doesn’t even know where needles are bought, how will he even teach his daughter how to sew a button?

I was raised by a single father and not a day passes by without thinking about him. This is because most of what I know and what has helped me through this life I learnt from him. It is unfortunate that he passed on so early in my life, but thanks to his gut feeling of that he would not be around much longer, he taught me as much as he could in his last two years on this earth. There are times he would start “lecturers” and go on and on for about an hour nonstop. Talking about anything and everything. And the evenings after supper he would give me tales of his life, his experiences, kirira kia ugikuyu (can’t remember that much about this intricate details though), about life in general. He taught me how to clean, cook at a very young age, I remember a week we only had chapos, only the stew changed. Why? Because I was going to do it wrong until I got it right and he wasn’t going to have it any other way. Zikauke hapo katikati, tutakula. Zikue nono huko kwa edges na hazijaiva kwa edges, tutakula. Nikande unga ikue ngumu kusukuma, nita deal nayo hadi ifike kwa pan……fond memories I tell you.
I will never forget the treks we used to take to this salon near Uhuru market on Jogoo Road, if I am not mistaken it was called Sunchic. It was one of the few salons that had blow dryers then (the other option was kuchomwa na ile kichana ya moto) and he never minded the trek or the waiting until my hair was done.

I cannot imagine how much harder it is for a man left with three, four kids to take care of alone. Some men can barely boil water without burning it And then finds himself in a situation as such. Ha! Chaos I tell you.

To all the men that are/ found themselves in such a situation and took it their stride to shape up and raise their child/children the best way they know how, I salute you.

To all the men who provide for, protect, mentor, guide, mold and have their children’s best interests at heart, salute. To the men who are respected by their children out of love and not fear, salute.

Goodnight. Nalala saa ya kuku leo.

[Motokubwa]

@Mboch Kiburi

They are rarely appreciated, acknowledged or celebrated. No one pays mind to their struggles and they do go through many in silence, they suck it up and do their duty as they are expected to. Many at times they are seen as having a problem because of the situation they are in, yet if they did the opposite, (in this case re marrying soon after in order to have someone help raise their kids) much would still be said.
I am talking of single fathers. Men who because of one reason or the other (widowhood, nasty divorces, or the rare case when a woman ups and leaves her child/children and never looks back) find themselves raising their children by themselves. Those that chose to raise their offspring rather than dump them on their aged parents. Then a man finds himself having to learn all manner of things that he had never paid any or much mind to. From cooking, cleaning them and cleaning up after them, learning their favorite colors, their favourite foods, their weaknesses, their friends. This should be/was mummy’s forte, but she is not here anymore. It is hardest for single dads raising girls, having to worry about who will do her hair, who will teach her how to handle menses when they come, shopping for her clothes, teaching her basic skills like cleaning, washing, cooking. A guy doesn’t even know where needles are bought, how will he even teach his daughter how to sew a button?

I was raised by a single father and not a day passes by without thinking about him. This is because most of what I know and what has helped me through this life I learnt from him. It is unfortunate that he passed on so early in my life, but thanks to his gut feeling of that he would not be around much longer, he taught me as much as he could in his last two years on this earth. There are times he would start “lecturers” and go on and on for about an hour nonstop. Talking about anything and everything. And the evenings after supper he would give me tales of his life, his experiences, kirira kia ugikuyu (can’t remember that much about this intricate details though), about life in general. He taught me how to clean, cook at a very young age, I remember a week we only had chapos, only the stew changed. Why? Because I was going to do it wrong until I got it right and he wasn’t going to have it any other way. Zikauke hapo katikati, tutakula. Zikue nono huko kwa edges na hazijaiva kwa edges, tutakula. Nikande unga ikue ngumu kusukuma, nita deal nayo hadi ifike kwa pan……fond memories I tell you. I will never forget the treks we used to take to this salon near Uhuru market on Jogoo Road, if I am not mistaken it was called Sunchic. It was one of the few salons that had blow dryers then (the other option was kuchomwa na ile kichana ya moto) and he never minded the trek or the waiting until my hair was done.

I cannot imagine how much harder it is for a man left with three, four kids to take care of alone. Some men can barely boil water without burning it And then finds himself in a situation as such. Ha! Chaos I tell you.

To all the men that are/ found themselves in such a situation and took it their stride to shape up and raise their child/children the best way they know how, I salute you.

To all the men who provide for, protect, mentor, guide, mold and have their children’s best interests at heart, salute. To the men who are respected by their children out of love and not fear, salute.

Goodnight. Nalala saa ya kuku leo.

Salute to your father

[Ole_masai]

I can relate. Touches straight to the heart.

[Thirimaii]

@Mboch Kiburi

They are rarely appreciated, acknowledged or celebrated. No one pays mind to their struggles and they do go through many in silence, they suck it up and do their duty as they are expected to. Many at times they are seen as having a problem because of the situation they are in, yet if they did the opposite, (in this case re marrying soon after in order to have someone help raise their kids) much would still be said.

I am talking of single fathers. Men who because of one reason or the other (widowhood, nasty divorces, or the rare case when a woman ups and leaves her child/children and never looks back) find themselves raising their children by themselves. Those that chose to raise their offspring rather than dump them on their aged parents. Then a man finds himself having to learn all manner of things that he had never paid any or much mind to. From cooking, cleaning them and cleaning up after them, learning their favorite colors, their favourite foods, their weaknesses, their friends. This should be/was mummy’s forte, but she is not here anymore. It is hardest for single dads raising girls, having to worry about who will do her hair, who will teach her how to handle menses when they come, shopping for her clothes, teaching her basic skills like cleaning, washing, cooking. A guy doesn’t even know where needles are bought, how will he even teach his daughter how to sew a button?

I was raised by a single father and not a day passes by without thinking about him. This is because most of what I know and what has helped me through this life I learnt from him. It is unfortunate that he passed on so early in my life, but thanks to his gut feeling of that he would not be around much longer, he taught me as much as he could in his last two years on this earth. There are times he would start “lecturers” and go on and on for about an hour nonstop. Talking about anything and everything. And the evenings after supper he would give me tales of his life, his experiences, kirira kia ugikuyu (can’t remember that much about this intricate details though), about life in general. He taught me how to clean, cook at a very young age, I remember a week we only had chapos, only the stew changed. Why? Because I was going to do it wrong until I got it right and he wasn’t going to have it any other way. Zikauke hapo katikati, tutakula. Zikue nono huko kwa edges na hazijaiva kwa edges, tutakula. Nikande unga ikue ngumu kusukuma, nita deal nayo hadi ifike kwa pan……fond memories I tell you.
I will never forget the treks we used to take to this salon near Uhuru market on Jogoo Road, if I am not mistaken it was called Sunchic. It was one of the few salons that had blow dryers then (the other option was kuchomwa na ile kichana ya moto) and he never minded the trek or the waiting until my hair was done.

I cannot imagine how much harder it is for a man left with three, four kids to take care of alone. Some men can barely boil water without burning it And then finds himself in a situation as such. Ha! Chaos I tell you.

To all the men that are/ found themselves in such a situation and took it their stride to shape up and raise their child/children the best way they know how, I salute you.

To all the men who provide for, protect, mentor, guide, mold and have their children’s best interests at heart, salute. To the men who are respected by their children out of love and not fear, salute.

Goodnight. Nalala saa ya kuku leo.

Salut to that gentleman.

[Baresi]

He raised a fine lady, congrats to the gentleman. He is happy wherever he is.

[oboho]

Much respect to the Dude!!!

[Wanaruona]

Hats off.

[TrumanCapote]

@Mboch Kiburi

They are rarely appreciated, acknowledged or celebrated. No one pays mind to their struggles and they do go through many in silence, they suck it up and do their duty as they are expected to. Many at times they are seen as having a problem because of the situation they are in, yet if they did the opposite, (in this case re marrying soon after in order to have someone help raise their kids) much would still be said.

I am talking of single fathers. Men who because of one reason or the other (widowhood, nasty divorces, or the rare case when a woman ups and leaves her child/children and never looks back) find themselves raising their children by themselves. Those that chose to raise their offspring rather than dump them on their aged parents. Then a man finds himself having to learn all manner of things that he had never paid any or much mind to. From cooking, cleaning them and cleaning up after them, learning their favorite colors, their favourite foods, their weaknesses, their friends. This should be/was mummy’s forte, but she is not here anymore. It is hardest for single dads raising girls, having to worry about who will do her hair, who will teach her how to handle menses when they come, shopping for her clothes, teaching her basic skills like cleaning, washing, cooking. A guy doesn’t even know where needles are bought, how will he even teach his daughter how to sew a button?

I was raised by a single father and not a day passes by without thinking about him. This is because most of what I know and what has helped me through this life I learnt from him. It is unfortunate that he passed on so early in my life, but thanks to his gut feeling of that he would not be around much longer, he taught me as much as he could in his last two years on this earth. There are times he would start “lecturers” and go on and on for about an hour nonstop. Talking about anything and everything. And the evenings after supper he would give me tales of his life, his experiences, kirira kia ugikuyu (can’t remember that much about this intricate details though), about life in general. He taught me how to clean, cook at a very young age, I remember a week we only had chapos, only the stew changed. Why? Because I was going to do it wrong until I got it right and he wasn’t going to have it any other way. Zikauke hapo katikati, tutakula. Zikue nono huko kwa edges na hazijaiva kwa edges, tutakula. Nikande unga ikue ngumu kusukuma, nita deal nayo hadi ifike kwa pan……fond memories I tell you.
I will never forget the treks we used to take to this salon near Uhuru market on Jogoo Road, if I am not mistaken it was called Sunchic. It was one of the few salons that had blow dryers then (the other option was kuchomwa na ile kichana ya moto) and he never minded the trek or the waiting until my hair was done.

I cannot imagine how much harder it is for a man left with three, four kids to take care of alone. Some men can barely boil water without burning it And then finds himself in a situation as such. Ha! Chaos I tell you.

To all the men that are/ found themselves in such a situation and took it their stride to shape up and raise their child/children the best way they know how, I salute you.

To all the men who provide for, protect, mentor, guide, mold and have their children’s best interests at heart, salute. To the men who are respected by their children out of love and not fear, salute.

Goodnight. Nalala saa ya kuku leo.

I don’t salute them because when you get children it is your job to raise them. I had a friend who was raised by her dad after her mommy left to the states. Growing up with no mother is no joke. By the time she left, this friend was a baby in nappies. Her mom has never been back since. Later the reason why she left emerged. The dad had infected the mom and she was furious. I am not sure why she thought of going to the states and leaving such young kids but later the exact same scenario played out with my uncle, his wife left her kids 3 and 2 and left for elsewhere some place far away. I don’t dispute the fact that your dad was a great dad to you but unless your mom passed. He probably wasn’t a great husband. They say, the best gift a man can give his kids is to love their mother. I’ve seen men deprive their kids a mother by killing them with HIV, by cheating on them and many other selfish acts. I admire your very positive outlook on everything. I think that you are very young. When you are young, you are not very objective because alot of things in life have difficult and dark dimensions that can be very painful to come to terms with. I know a guy who is a single dad of 6,actually I know 2,please do not ask me where I meet these people bcz I know just any and all kinds of people that you can think of, theyre great dads but not great husbands by not being good husbands they have deprived their kids the love of a mother. Which is irreplaceable. I will tell you about 1 bcz whatever happened unfolded before my eyes. The man was married with 4 kids. He got work away from the family. He like most such men got a local gf, she got pg with his twins boys, she moved in. The wife learnt of it and moved to the place where the guy was after a period of trying to distance the other lady she gave up and went to the states leaving him the 4 kids. When the local gf saw the huge burden she found a sponsor and left him his kids. He is now a single dad of 6.He is a very good friend of mine. I keep taunting him that he’s now a community dad.

So to be clear, women are very attached to their kids, remember pregnancy and what follows. By the time a woman is walking out on her kids she’s hit rock bottom and as far as the cases I know of, it’s the man’s doing. About the only time I have had alone under my dad’s care is one holiday my mom had some commitments and he had to take us to shags alone. It was hilarious. He could barely cook anything and after few days of trying he surrendered to my grandmother. I have amazing memories with my dad, like him always buying me chocolates, gifts and jewelry whenever he traveled out of the country. Him finding me when I got lost as a child. Him overprotecting and spoiling me rotten.Him taking me out alone for my birthday bcz my mom didn’t get me a birthday cake. Him standing up for me to my teachers, him telling me that there’s nothing I can’t do bcz am smart like him. And boy is he a genius. It’s not easy for men to trick me bcz my dad did his job pretty well. He made me expect alot from men and not to fall for the okeydoke like I see women all around me doing. Some a man only has to take them to kenchic and they feel like nobody has ever loved them like that. Dads give identity and a strong sense of self. Very important especially to a girl. I didn’t get along with my mom growing up and I hated it bcz everyone was all about their mom but when I got older and our relationship got better I understood a mom is a very, very important person in a child’s life especially a woman’s life. Now barely a day can go by without us speaking. Kids are supposed to grow up in a two parent home. When they don’t, they miss very pertinent things that can’t be replaced by the one parent, be it a single mom or dad.

I’ve noticed recently that Co parenting by design is the new trendy thing to do. I have seen both sides of the coin. I have seen the single dads, single Moms, Copa renting, blended family and I know people from such families. I have an uncle whose wife died when we were kids, he has never remarried. Men in my culture tend not to remarry after the death of their first wife I know several. Still by interacting closely with kids from such backgrounds and even orphans. I have come to a very deep appreciation of the benefits of kids being raised in a two parent home. A monogamous one. I also know the challenges kids from polygamous homes face. And also people share with me very deep things they ordinarily hide from others. I have come to have a panoramic view on alot of different types of families, lifestyles and other cultures.

Your dad did a great job. You are a remarkable woman. When you become a mom you will appreciate what you missed by not growing up with your mom. You are a breath of fresh air in a polarilised place like this. Keep serving we the jaded hardliners with doses of that youthful optimism. We could sure use it.

[Karoga]

Men are better parents than women ,you will realize mtoto was single mother suffers from psychological and emotional issues yet wa single father seems to be more stable and successful.

[Baresi]

@TrumanCapote

I don’t salute them because when you get children it is your job to raise them. I had a friend who was raised by her dad after her mommy left to the states. Growing up with no mother is no joke. By the time she left, this friend was a baby in nappies. Her mom has never been back since. Later the reason why she left emerged. The dad had infected the mom and she was furious. I am not sure why she thought of going to the states and leaving such young kids but later the exact same scenario played out with my uncle, his wife left her kids 3 and 2 and left for elsewhere some place far away. I don’t dispute the fact that your dad was a great dad to you but unless your mom passed. He probably wasn’t a great husband. They say, the best gift a man can give his kids is to love their mother. I’ve seen men deprive their kids a mother by killing them with HIV, by cheating on them and many other selfish acts. I admire your very positive outlook on everything. I think that you are very young. When you are young, you are not very objective because alot of things in life have difficult and dark dimensions that can be very painful to come to terms with. I know a guy who is a single dad of 6,actually I know 2,please do not ask me where I meet these people bcz I know just any and all kinds of people that you can think of, theyre great dads but not great husbands by not being good husbands they have deprived their kids the love of a mother. Which is irreplaceable. I will tell you about 1 bcz whatever happened unfolded before my eyes. The man was married with 4 kids. He got work away from the family. He like most such men got a local gf, she got pg with his twins boys, she moved in. The wife learnt of it and moved to the place where the guy was after a period of trying to distance the other lady she gave up and went to the states leaving him the 4 kids. When the local gf saw the huge burden she found a sponsor and left him his kids. He is now a single dad of 6.He is a very good friend of mine. I keep taunting him that he’s now a community dad.

So to be clear, women are very attached to their kids, remember pregnancy and what follows. By the time a woman is walking out on her kids she’s hit rock bottom and as far as the cases I know of, it’s the man’s doing. About the only time I have had alone under my dad’s care is one holiday my mom had some commitments and he had to take us to shags alone. It was hilarious. He could barely cook anything and after few days of trying he surrendered to my grandmother. I have amazing memories with my dad, like him always buying me chocolates, gifts and jewelry whenever he traveled out of the country. Him finding me when I got lost as a child. Him overprotecting and spoiling me rotten.Him taking me out alone for my birthday bcz my mom didn’t get me a birthday cake. Him standing up for me to my teachers, him telling me that there’s nothing I can’t do bcz am smart like him. And boy is he a genius. It’s not easy for men to trick me bcz my dad did his job pretty well. He made me expect alot from men and not to fall for the okeydoke like I see women all around me doing. Some a man only has to take them to kenchic and they feel like nobody has ever loved them like that. Dads give identity and a strong sense of self. Very important especially to a girl. I didn’t get along with my mom growing up and I hated it bcz everyone was all about their mom but when I got older and our relationship got better I understood a mom is a very, very important person in a child’s life especially a woman’s life. Now barely a day can go by without us speaking. Kids are supposed to grow up in a two parent home. When they don’t, they miss very pertinent things that can’t be replaced by the one parent, be it a single mom or dad.

I’ve noticed recently that Co parenting by design is the new trendy thing to do. I have seen both sides of the coin. I have seen the single dads, single Moms, Copa renting, blended family and I know people from such families. I have an uncle whose wife died when we were kids, he has never remarried. Men in my culture tend not to remarry after the death of their first wife I know several. Still by interacting closely with kids from such backgrounds and even orphans. I have come to a very deep appreciation of the benefits of kids being raised in a two parent home. A monogamous one. I also know the challenges kids from polygamous homes face. And also people share with me very deep things they ordinarily hide from others. I have come to have a panoramic view on alot of different types of families, lifestyles and other cultures.

Your dad did a great job. You are a remarkable woman. When you become a mom you will appreciate what you missed by not growing up with your mom. You are a breath of fresh air in a polarilised place like this. Keep serving we the jaded hardliners with doses of that youthful optimism. We could sure use it.

Wah, si una bidii ya kuandika

[TrumanCapote]

@Baresi

Wah, si una bidii ya kuandika

I don’t like it when my points get lost in transition.

[thesavage]

The unfortunate thing about life is that, often a hero is soon a dead man. His only salary is a good eulogy.

[King_aui]

@TrumanCapote

I don’t salute them because when you get children it is your job to raise them. I had a friend who was raised by her dad after her mommy left to the states. Growing up with no mother is no joke. By the time she left, this friend was a baby in nappies. Her mom has never been back since. Later the reason why she left emerged. The dad had infected the mom and she was furious. I am not sure why she thought of going to the states and leaving such young kids but later the exact same scenario played out with my uncle, his wife left her kids 3 and 2 and left for elsewhere some place far away. I don’t dispute the fact that your dad was a great dad to you but unless your mom passed. He probably wasn’t a great husband. They say, the best gift a man can give his kids is to love their mother. I’ve seen men deprive their kids a mother by killing them with HIV, by cheating on them and many other selfish acts. I admire your very positive outlook on everything. I think that you are very young. When you are young, you are not very objective because alot of things in life have difficult and dark dimensions that can be very painful to come to terms with. I know a guy who is a single dad of 6,actually I know 2,please do not ask me where I meet these people bcz I know just any and all kinds of people that you can think of, theyre great dads but not great husbands by not being good husbands they have deprived their kids the love of a mother. Which is irreplaceable. I will tell you about 1 bcz whatever happened unfolded before my eyes. The man was married with 4 kids. He got work away from the family. He like most such men got a local gf, she got pg with his twins boys, she moved in. The wife learnt of it and moved to the place where the guy was after a period of trying to distance the other lady she gave up and went to the states leaving him the 4 kids. When the local gf saw the huge burden she found a sponsor and left him his kids. He is now a single dad of 6.He is a very good friend of mine. I keep taunting him that he’s now a community dad.

So to be clear, women are very attached to their kids, remember pregnancy and what follows. By the time a woman is walking out on her kids she’s hit rock bottom and as far as the cases I know of, it’s the man’s doing. About the only time I have had alone under my dad’s care is one holiday my mom had some commitments and he had to take us to shags alone. It was hilarious. He could barely cook anything and after few days of trying he surrendered to my grandmother. I have amazing memories with my dad, like him always buying me chocolates, gifts and jewelry whenever he traveled out of the country. Him finding me when I got lost as a child. Him overprotecting and spoiling me rotten.Him taking me out alone for my birthday bcz my mom didn’t get me a birthday cake. Him standing up for me to my teachers, him telling me that there’s nothing I can’t do bcz am smart like him. And boy is he a genius. It’s not easy for men to trick me bcz my dad did his job pretty well. He made me expect alot from men and not to fall for the okeydoke like I see women all around me doing. Some a man only has to take them to kenchic and they feel like nobody has ever loved them like that. Dads give identity and a strong sense of self. Very important especially to a girl. I didn’t get along with my mom growing up and I hated it bcz everyone was all about their mom but when I got older and our relationship got better I understood a mom is a very, very important person in a child’s life especially a woman’s life. Now barely a day can go by without us speaking. Kids are supposed to grow up in a two parent home. When they don’t, they miss very pertinent things that can’t be replaced by the one parent, be it a single mom or dad.

I’ve noticed recently that Co parenting by design is the new trendy thing to do. I have seen both sides of the coin. I have seen the single dads, single Moms, Copa renting, blended family and I know people from such families. I have an uncle whose wife died when we were kids, he has never remarried. Men in my culture tend not to remarry after the death of their first wife I know several. Still by interacting closely with kids from such backgrounds and even orphans. I have come to a very deep appreciation of the benefits of kids being raised in a two parent home. A monogamous one. I also know the challenges kids from polygamous homes face. And also people share with me very deep things they ordinarily hide from others. I have come to have a panoramic view on alot of different types of families, lifestyles and other cultures.

Your dad did a great job. You are a remarkable woman. When you become a mom you will appreciate what you missed by not growing up with your mom. You are a breath of fresh air in a polarilised place like this. Keep serving we the jaded hardliners with doses of that youthful optimism. We could sure use it.

Summary please

[Mtu_wa_pizza]

When

@Mboch Kiburi

They are rarely appreciated, acknowledged or celebrated. No one pays mind to their struggles and they do go through many in silence, they suck it up and do their duty as they are expected to. Many at times they are seen as having a problem because of the situation they are in, yet if they did the opposite, (in this case re marrying soon after in order to have someone help raise their kids) much would still be said.

I am talking of single fathers. Men who because of one reason or the other (widowhood, nasty divorces, or the rare case when a woman ups and leaves her child/children and never looks back) find themselves raising their children by themselves. Those that chose to raise their offspring rather than dump them on their aged parents. Then a man finds himself having to learn all manner of things that he had never paid any or much mind to. From cooking, cleaning them and cleaning up after them, learning their favorite colors, their favourite foods, their weaknesses, their friends. This should be/was mummy’s forte, but she is not here anymore. It is hardest for single dads raising girls, having to worry about who will do her hair, who will teach her how to handle menses when they come, shopping for her clothes, teaching her basic skills like cleaning, washing, cooking. A guy doesn’t even know where needles are bought, how will he even teach his daughter how to sew a button?

I was raised by a single father and not a day passes by without thinking about him. This is because most of what I know and what has helped me through this life I learnt from him. It is unfortunate that he passed on so early in my life, but thanks to his gut feeling of that he would not be around much longer, he taught me as much as he could in his last two years on this earth. There are times he would start “lecturers” and go on and on for about an hour nonstop. Talking about anything and everything. And the evenings after supper he would give me tales of his life, his experiences, kirira kia ugikuyu (can’t remember that much about this intricate details though), about life in general. He taught me how to clean, cook at a very young age, I remember a week we only had chapos, only the stew changed. Why? Because I was going to do it wrong until I got it right and he wasn’t going to have it any other way. Zikauke hapo katikati, tutakula. Zikue nono huko kwa edges na hazijaiva kwa edges, tutakula. Nikande unga ikue ngumu kusukuma, nita deal nayo hadi ifike kwa pan……fond memories I tell you.
I will never forget the treks we used to take to this salon near Uhuru market on Jogoo Road, if I am not mistaken it was called Sunchic. It was one of the few salons that had blow dryers then (the other option was kuchomwa na ile kichana ya moto) and he never minded the trek or the waiting until my hair was done.

I cannot imagine how much harder it is for a man left with three, four kids to take care of alone. Some men can barely boil water without burning it And then finds himself in a situation as such. Ha! Chaos I tell you.

To all the men that are/ found themselves in such a situation and took it their stride to shape up and raise their child/children the best way they know how, I salute you.

To all the men who provide for, protect, mentor, guide, mold and have their children’s best interests at heart, salute. To the men who are respected by their children out of love and not feQUOTE]
When a man accepts his responsibilities…
Hats off

@King'aui

Summary please

@TrumanCapote

I don’t salute them because when you get children it is your job to raise them. I had a friend who was raised by her dad after her mommy left to the states. Growing up with no mother is no joke. By the time she left, this friend was a baby in nappies. Her mom has never been back since. Later the reason why she left emerged. The dad had infected the mom and she was furious. I am not sure why she thought of going to the states and leaving such young kids but later the exact same scenario played out with my uncle, his wife left her kids 3 and 2 and left for elsewhere some place far away. I don’t dispute the fact that your dad was a great dad to you but unless your mom passed. He probably wasn’t a great husband. They say, the best gift a man can give his kids is to love their mother. I’ve seen men deprive their kids a mother by killing them with HIV, by cheating on them and many other selfish acts. I admire your very positive outlook on everything. I think that you are very young. When you are young, you are not very objective because alot of things in life have difficult and dark dimensions that can be very painful to come to terms with. I know a guy who is a single dad of 6,actually I know 2,please do not ask me where I meet these people bcz I know just any and all kinds of people that you can think of, theyre great dads but not great husbands by not being good husbands they have deprived their kids the love of a mother. Which is irreplaceable. I will tell you about 1 bcz whatever happened unfolded before my eyes. The man was married with 4 kids. He got work away from the family. He like most such men got a local gf, she got pg with his twins boys, she moved in. The wife learnt of it and moved to the place where the guy was after a period of trying to distance the other lady she gave up and went to the states leaving him the 4 kids. When the local gf saw the huge burden she found a sponsor and left him his kids. He is now a single dad of 6.He is a very good friend of mine. I keep taunting him that he’s now a community dad.

So to be clear, women are very attached to their kids, remember pregnancy and what follows. By the time a woman is walking out on her kids she’s hit rock bottom and as far as the cases I know of, it’s the man’s doing. About the only time I have had alone under my dad’s care is one holiday my mom had some commitments and he had to take us to shags alone. It was hilarious. He could barely cook anything and after few days of trying he surrendered to my grandmother. I have amazing memories with my dad, like him always buying me chocolates, gifts and jewelry whenever he traveled out of the country. Him finding me when I got lost as a child. Him overprotecting and spoiling me rotten.Him taking me out alone for my birthday bcz my mom didn’t get me a birthday cake. Him standing up for me to my teachers, him telling me that there’s nothing I can’t do bcz am smart like him. And boy is he a genius. It’s not easy for men to trick me bcz my dad did his job pretty well. He made me expect alot from men and not to fall for the okeydoke like I see women all around me doing. Some a man only has to take them to kenchic and they feel like nobody has ever loved them like that. Dads give identity and a strong sense of self. Very important especially to a girl. I didn’t get along with my mom growing up and I hated it bcz everyone was all about their mom but when I got older and our relationship got better I understood a mom is a very, very important person in a child’s life especially a woman’s life. Now barely a day can go by without us speaking. Kids are supposed to grow up in a two parent home. When they don’t, they miss very pertinent things that can’t be replaced by the one parent, be it a single mom or dad.

I’ve noticed recently that Co parenting by design is the new trendy thing to do. I have seen both sides of the coin. I have seen the single dads, single Moms, Copa renting, blended family and I know people from such families. I have an uncle whose wife died when we were kids, he has never remarried. Men in my culture tend not to remarry after the death of their first wife I know several. Still by interacting closely with kids from such backgrounds and even orphans. I have come to a very deep appreciation of the benefits of kids being raised in a two parent home. A monogamous one. I also know the challenges kids from polygamous homes face. And also people share with me very deep things they ordinarily hide from others. I have come to have a panoramic view on alot of different types of families, lifestyles and other cultures.

Your dad did a great job. You are a remarkable woman. When you become a mom you will appreciate what you missed by not growing up with your mom. You are a breath of fresh air in a polarilised place like this. Keep serving we the jaded hardliners with doses of that youthful optimism. We could sure use it.

I expected this…

[ChifuMbitika]

Big salute to your late father. Men are not trash like the way Truman Kapondi likes to paint us.

[dingoo_wa_ingoo]

@TrumanCapote

I don’t like it when my points get lost in transition.

Ummmm… no. Your points [if they may be called that ] are NEVER lost in translation. They are lost, completely and irretrievably, in your vim, your verve and most certainly, in your verbosity.