There is this young lady we met x yrs ago when she had just completed high school. She looked humble from her first impression and this really caught my heart.
We dated for sometime and later I won her heart. By then I was 19 and her 18.
At this time she was staying with their family at Kitengela , Nairobi. In the following year she started attending to a certain course in a certain college in town.
As per my observations, she apparently came from a well off family. Her ‘mother’ worked at KCB Branch around the town while 'father worked with a touring company. I used to visit her often in our first days. This was strictly during weekdays when ‘parents’ were out to job.
Days went on, and as it is usual for many good girls, this lady was not very open to me during our first days. It actually took me about seven months to get to know some of her secrets that I thought I should have known on the first or second day. One thing strange about her is that most of the time she looked depressed and this always kept me worrying. And due to such moods our relationship was not always something to earn joy from. She would never let me know whatever the issue was but she always claimed to be ok.
She had never visited me until the seventh month of our relationship, but I used to understand coz I was residing far from Kitengela and from her tenderness, it was clear that she really submitted to her ‘parents’. These added to parents’ work schedule and home chores was easily understandable.
At last she called on me when our affair was 7 months old. I did not force her to this, neither was I part in planning for. She just decided and came, but she told me a day before. I was also schooling, and used to reside within the school and that’s where we met.
On this day it’s when she now opened up and made me know that she had been totally orphaned since she was in class three. Parents left behind five kids. Whoever she was staying with was her uncle. She also told me that her both parents died on the same day. I didn’t know what the cause of the death was, since she immediately broke into tears and asked me to leave the story. Her story was really touching. She explained to me how much they’d suffered and how much relatives and neighbours had taken advantage of their parents demise to mistreat them. There was nothing I could do but to only promise to always be there for her to the best of my ability. I was trapped. My greatest weakness is worrying especially when I see people face natural misfortunes that I don’t.
Day ended and we parted. She was back home.
She came back severally, each new visit giving another chance to learn her. I got to like her more and more. She was beautiful, humble and always neat in fitting dresses or trousers. She did not prove to be too needy despite all these. She was always contented with or without whatever materials most girls seek for from men, coz that’s what life had trained her. I loved her.
Two months later she called me from home(ushago her real home) and told me that she had differed with auntie and not planning to come back. The cause was that auntie is always quarrelsome. Again I got to learn that she got to do all the home chores alone, so her schedule ran from 5 am to midnight. She was also attending school. Auntie was short-tempered and sometime when angered would beat. Several kids were still to be attended(na boch alifutwa once she did her KCSE). I tried to convince her to get back, but she was not ready. She was fed up and ready to forego studies till God did miracles. When I told her to go back and try talking to uncle, coz he could easily understand, (at least he was her late fathers real brother), she told me that she had always tried but uncle hananga say(amekaliwa coz auntie being a banker earned more than him).
At Last I asked her to find a relative around Nairobi who would accommodate her so she could at least complete the ending semester. I could have done it but… She came back to Nairobi and stayed for the few days with recently married cousin. But cuzo had very little to offer, alikuwa wa mjengo. When the semester ended in Dec she went back home, told me she did not want to be such a liability to them.
In the following year she moved to stay with an unmarried auntie(32) in Machakos town. She negotiated with the school administration and she was transferred to a branch there. The good thing is that her fees did not come from her first auntie or a relative but somewhere though she sometimes get challenged, but si sana.
What about the relationship part? Following all these issues that I have never considered to be personal to her, our relationship apparently lost meaning. I felt like I would never let her suffer alone. I have never been in love with a gal in such a situation again. I usually don’t have true love for ladies. Nami si gay. But for this one it’s been too difficult for me to run away from. I always feel guilty. I always have hope that one day she’ll be out all these. She has never claimed to leave me. She tells me that for now her life is at a sharp corner at which adding on to her anything more would be disastrous. So until probably she is settle or so. I have never caught her cheating on me.But she’s always dormant as she’s always depressed and stressed. We often differ and reconcile which can be initiated by either me or her. I always understand like when she told me that auntie quarrels when she sees her hold a phone for more than 5 mins amybe texting (you can easily understand when that comes from a 32y.o unmarried lady). I don’t really know what keeps me around her. Love and if not love sympathy!
I may not be very good at waiting or being patient, my patience easily diminishes. That’s my second weakness. But I said I never have love for ladies. Indeed I have a gf from KU, graduating next year, but I still don’t have love for her. She’s faithful but nilijaribu kumpenda nikashindwa.
Anyway, now, from a general discussion a friend claimed that I’m still young, which I absolutely agreed with. He’s my elder one and really inspired me. From this statement, I realized that I have my goals in life that need to be achieved. Again why should I keep thinking about this fellow then get to think of marrying early? Suppose I plan to marry at at least 28 it’s more likely that this fellow will already be married. I thought about this statement and tried to link it with my experience with this orphaned chic. I thought of forgetting about her and now focus on my life goals. I maybe unfair in this, but wazee wa kijiji mnaweza mwaga mawaidha