Edith Muthoni Agnes Tiren

Wow! Another week another woman murdered by an intimate partner. This week it’s actually 2 women. Not just regular women. Accomplished athletes. How many women have died this year of domestic violence? I have been taking it in stride but this week I shed tears. It’s too much.

I have watched mob justice scenes and I always ask myself why do men have such propensity for violence. They are actually worse in groups. You wonder if these are human beings or wild beasts. They seem to harbor such rage just waiting for an outlet.

Yaani relating with a man can get you get you killed once the guy starts to feel he’s losing control of you. I wonder how God made men. From their propensity to sexually objectify even children to spontaneous violence I find men to be very strange creatures.

Being single is becoming a safe haven coz you enter into a relationship and for some reason the man feels he can no longer control you, you do not even know if you will make it out of the relationship with your life and limb intact. It’s so scary. It’s like living in a world full of monsters but you don’t know when and where you will meet that monster.

I can’t even blame the women. Society has brainwashed us into believing that our life is useless and without purpose without a man in it. That would explain why a world class athlete would stay in such a toxic relationshit for so long. So what if she’s a world champion? she’s nothing without a man. She can find the cure for cancer but it’s all meaningless if she doesn’t have a man to validate her existence. A user. An abuser. As long as it’s a man it’s better than none.

Sometimes I look at the world and wonder how Jesus felt when He was here. No wonder every morning He would go up the mountain and cry loudly. It’s terrible the world that we live in where not even a national hero is safe in her own home built on her sweat, blood and tears.

Being a woman is hard, just when you think you’ve found love you are at your most vulnerable. You can get your heart or jaw broken. You can get conned out of your life savings. You can get HIV and you can get killed over absolutely nothing. Your children can get killed. You can be killed for getting pregnant which is so common in the US. No woman is exempt as long as you are relating with a man. Not white women like Gabby Petito. Not international world renowned athletes like Agnes.Not doctors like Teresa Sievers. Not even celebrity sex therapists like Amy Harwick.

Women are really dying at the hands of the men who say they love them. It’s a travesty. It’s insane. It’s frightening. I am cautious about getting into relationships bcz the first relationship I ever had was with a very controlling and possessive man. Let me tell you ladies, he was popular, he would spoil me when he wasn’t fighting with me for saying hi to a guy or going anywhere without him. Everyone thought I was the luckiest woman until I got fed up with the never ending high drama of being controlled like a child. When I broke up with the guy, all hell broke loose. From death threats, to stalking, to calling my parents to slander me, to threatening to commit suicide in spite of dating other women.

I’ve been there. It’s like a honey trap. Yaani I feared men from that time. You can’t just leave a relationship in peace. It becomes a life threatening thing to leave a relationship you entered into of your own free will. And true to form, most women are killed when they are leaving a relationship or a marriage. That’s what statistics on domestic violence say.

Of course not all men are this way the problem is the ones that are hide it very well especially when they are reeling you in with love bombing. If they came with signs nobody would date or marry them but they are good at hiding it and good at apologizing and getting your forgiveness. That is is until they kill you. Some women do not make it out alive the first time they are in this kinds of relationshits so they don’t have the benefit of hindsight like I do. Where you can see the warning signs early and get out before its too late or you have gone too far with the abuser.

All I can say to those who have sucuumb to domestic violence is RIP. For those who are in deep, be very strategic. Your life is more important than any relationship with any man I don’t care who he is. Get out when the window is still open before the madness closes in on you. Learn to pick up the signs early. If he tells you his father was violent. If he talks about doing violent things to his exes. If he loses patience quickly. If he tries to control you in any way. If he’s over possessive. If he isolates you from the people who live you. Please run. Don’t walk.

Condolences to the bereaved families. God’s peace during this difficult time of loss. It’s better to be single than to live in fear of your fellow human being. Particularly one who is supposed to love and protect you. May God help us women to really discern who it is that we are getting involved with romantically as early as possible to avoid such untimely, violent and tragic demises. We need alot of help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk211vCrPBc

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