Phone rings;;;;
Me: Hallo, how’re you?.
Her: Am ok, where are you?
Me: Am at work, in the CBD, you?
Her: Am at home, not feeling well.
Me: Pole, kwani how you feeling?
Her: Ish ish
Me: I mean, what is the problem, what’s ailing you?
Her:Wasn’t feeling well jana so I went for a check up and was diagnosed with ulcers.
Me: Am so sorry, you gonna be ok, are you on medication now?
Her: Yes, but am so weak, I can’t leave the house, I need you to do me a favour.
Me: Hmmmmm, ok sema nisikie.
Her: When are you leaving work?, nataka unikamie na fruits jioni, I’will repay you.
Me: Am not sure, it will depend on the workload, maybe leaving late , eight maybe. Maybe you get someone to buy you the fruits, I won’t get time to make it to Ngara or Muthurwa to buy the fruits (I usually buy fruits in Ngara, am a mbirrionaire, so I usually buy once in a while).
Her: I thought of you coz you are the closest person I know here, fruits you can buy from the supermarket.
Me: Aaaaaaw, I see, so which supermarket do you usually shop for the fruits, I can pass by in the evening as I leave work.
Her: Any, just tell me before you purchase.
Me: Okay, I will try.
Her: Okay, bye.
Me: ok.
My question is who buys those supermarket fruits?, I am making history today, that is if I get to buy them.
Sunday, afternoon, I am from the shops. I had gone to buy Delmonte juice coz my gal was visiting, then I spot this lovely chick, I did muster the courage to approach her, it went like this,
Me: Hey how you, I love your locs.
Her: Thank you, They are even dirt am supposed to go to the salon to have them “washed”.
Me: I am Ray, I haven’t seen a gorgeous lass like you in the neighbourhood, how long have you been here?
Her: I relocated here two weeks ago. Where do you stay?
Me: That black gate,
Her: Oh, its just opposite where I stay…
,
I got this chick’s number on Sunday, we made small talk that evening, and it was great.
Monday, I proposed a hook up, She asked me? Why, do you wanna see me?, I said, " I liked your elegance and charm, you gorgeous and beautiful, and when I met you yesterday, I didnt hide the fact that I wanted to see you again" We were whatsapping.
I usually sleep early, one hour later, no response, I decide to call, no response, am like to hell, let me sleep. Ten minutes later, phone rings, it’s her. "I got your missed call, so I was asking why do you wanna meet me?, I am like, I already texted you, but if you wanna hear it again, you tickled my fancy, and it will be an honour if I get to know you more, then she replies, there is an incoming call, let me receive it, I will call you later if you happen to be awake then. I say no problem. I sleep, no call.
Tuesday, in the Morning I text, “Hey how you, can we meet in town in the evening after work?”, no response. In the evening, I call, no response. What the swive (I learnt this here), at least I tried, let me cut my losses first and move on.
FFWD, so the girl calls today with the ulcers story, villagers what is your say. Ni vitu nimeitiwo ama namna gani?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUL7OsH7v5s
“Indian Flute”
(feat. Sebastian, Rajé Shwari)
O come here shorty. i like you.
What? you like me 2?
I dont understand a word your sayin but let me talk 2 u.
I got my eyez on u (mera raja)
Baby let me tell u that u r tha truth (tu hai me raja)
I luv ur indian flute (mera raja)
O da da do da da do da da do (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera milen antha (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera pyar hua (sing it to me)
Zarasa choom loo to kya (but i cant understand a word your sayin)
(bari mushkil hai ab bachna)
Baby ive been eyeing u away from afar
(teri akhiyon mein sab kuch dekha)
Thanx 4 tha props but 2 me u tha star
(nadin a kuw bol lun aaja)
Letz get it on 2nite. y wait 4 2morra?
(come on can u show me how bad u r?)
Aaja soniye mein pyar kya, o
I got my eyez on u (mera raja)
Baby let me tell u that u r tha truth (tu hai me raja)
I luv ur indian flute (mera raja)
O da da do da da do da da do (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera milen antha (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera pyar hua (sing it to me)
Zarasa choom loo to kya (but i cant understand a word your sayin)
(abito batana mein kya karoo)
Baby u sure u wanna sleep next 2 'oo wen itz 3, all thatz on tha tv iz kung fu
Fuck around wit a nigga & end up on top of u
(dil kehta hai zindagi hai to)
U werent tha first best believe fo sho theres been a few
(come on bang tha music cuz im feelin u)
Aaja soniye par kurta voo
I got my eyez on u (mera raja)
Baby let me tell u that u r tha truth (tu hai me raja)
I luv ur indian flute (mera raja)
O da da do da da do da da do (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera milen antha (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera pyar hua (sing it to me)
Zarasa choom loo to kya (but i cant understand a word your sayin)
(tere baho mein ab pluleo)
Go slow & ill direct ur every move like a young benny boom afta beatin up your womb
No need 2 put on perfume baby girl u leavin soon
(kabhi mere paso jele aaja)
Nobody gotta no ur thong waz maroon
(teri hoo na)
U no afta creepin out my room
(tu hi mera)
Just so ur man dont assume
Sing it 2 him
(kasise humara meruna)
Sing it 2 him
(dumhese hum dono dewana)
Sing it 2 him
(hum heeto hum muste kayo para to me loo to kya hua)
I got my eyez on u (mera raja)
Baby let me tell u that u r tha truth (tu hai me raja)
I luv ur indian flute (mera raja)
O da da do da da do da da do (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera milen antha (sing it to me)
Tu phil a mera pyar hua (sing it to me)
Zarasa choom loo to kya (but i cant understand a word your sayin)