Ndio hao sisi tumeingia next county kushugulikia kazi. Tumeingia county HQ, dere akapark gari.
“Tushukuru mungu tumefika salama. so nyinyi mutaenda kwa hoteli? musign hizo makaratasi haraka niwapeleke”
“tutatembea tu. hata migu zimeganda.”
“kwani unabaki hapa ukichunga gari? si kuna ma AP?”
“Ati nachunga gari? sii hii ni mali ya serikali? ikiibiwa sio mimi ndio nita gharamia malipo. kwanza kesho hio barabara tunaenda hainganga watu. wacha nitawaonyesha vile land cruiser inaweza kukimbia.
mimi n alala kwa gari ndio nichunge pesa. staki kupotezea pesa lodging”
“sawa sawa. lala salama tuonane kesho asubuhi majaliwa mwenyezi mungu”
He paused na kuniangalia kuona kama nilikuwa niki muenjoy.
i don’t know why the fūck i said that.
“sawa sawa kesho saa kumi na mbili na nusu tupatane hapa. safari ni ndefu”
tukashuka nakuingia ofisi kusign some documents na kuishia town centre.
“ulikuwa ukienjoy dere ama nini juu ni mkristo? ati mwenyezi mungu?”
“zii. hata sijui mbona nilisema hivyo”
“kumbe nimesahau wewe hukuwangi na filter”
he then laughed at his own joke
tukafika lodging, tukaonyeshwa rooms na kila msee akabook room yake.
“hukuli supper?”
“bado hata hawajaanza kupika. wacha nichomoke kidogo, narudi”
“sawa. enda uvute bangi zako urudi”
he laughed at his own joke onceaga but sikuwa naenda kuvuta mabangi. per diem was burning a hole in my pocket. nilikuwa naenda kutafuta lanye indigenous.
nikaenda to a different lodging ndio ni book a room ya kupeleka lanye. i usually prefer away matches.
nilishikwa na foresight (kuona mbele) nikaamua niende nibuy maji ndio nikuwe hydrated nisishikwe na muscle pull katikati ya mechi.
nikaingia an adjacent bar. ilikuwa lifeless mbaya… iko na wasee wanne pekee wanawatch football na wasee wawili wanacheza pool. hata hakuna msee kwa counter.
nikasimama hapo kwa counter kifala kumbe jamaa wa kuuza ako anawatch ball. akaingia counter na kunipa maji.
kutoka, naona dem amechafua ma Guinness kwa kicorner giza hata huwezi kumwona ukiingia.
“mambo”
hajibu.
nikadhania labda ni wale indigenous kabisaaaa wanajua lugha yao pekee. or pia, maybe amepass out.
Guinness sita sio mchezo.
while I was wondering vile sign language ya kuitisha senyeste hufanywa, akashika meza na kujiskuma nyuma kwa kiti.
kiti ikatoa kelele mpaka wasee wa footer wakapenduka. without warning dem akashout “SHOTI NI MIA TANO!!”
niko hapo nimeshtuka yangu yote. hata sikuwa najua ni lanye direct. nilidhania ni wale madem wa club.
alifikiria my silence ni a negotiation tactic. aka shout tena “AMA BASI FANYA MIA NNE!!!”
msee mmoja wa footer akajam
“WEEEE! LIPANA MWENDE MWACHE KELELE!”
i was in a panic, nikafanya cardinal sin… paying beforehand. nikatoa change ya maji mia nne nikampea. i didn’t think it was possible, but aka shout even louder “HII NI NGAPI??!”
since wamezima lights ndani ya bar, lights za outdoor seating area pekee ndio zilikuwa zinamulika.
i had no idea juu ya giza, but vile
huyo msee wa kuzusha aliamuka, ndio nikaona anakaa kama Terry crews.
nikajua leo, mimi kwisha.
alikuja na fujo na hasira but along the way, akategwa na viti, moja ikamseti kwa ribs. akaamka akisugua ribs.
“ENDENI NA MUKUWE NA HESHIMA. SI ATI MUNAPIGIA WATU KELELE!”
in a panic, nikashika lanye kwa biceps nimuinue twende.
“WACHANA NA MIMI! NAEZA AAMKA PEKEE YANGU!”
akaongeza matusi ingine yenye hufanya moderator akuje hivi https://kenyastockholm.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/knife-attack.jpg?w=584&h=608
kwa corridor, naona Terry crews anatufuata na macho.
nikamuambia “WEEE! ANGALIA MPIRA YENYE ULIKUWA UKILILIA KAMA GHASIA. MBWA!”
of course, nilimwambia kimoyomoyo.
kulikuwa na steps kama tatu ya kushuka ndio ufike penye rooms ziko. lanye akaanza kuteta ati tungoje gari isimame ndio tushuke.
nikangoja kidogo then nikamshow gari imesimama. alafu akashuka hizo steps kama newborn gazelle.
kutembea 3 footsteps, akaanza kufungua zip ya jacket.
“harakisha nataka kuenda”.
kwani alikuwa ameficha wapi sauti ya kawaida 5 minutes ago?
nikaanza kukuwa na second thoughts. maybe amelewa sana.
kumbe alikuwa amevaa jacket solo hata hakuwa na bra. i didn’t even realise tukiwa kwa bar, juu matiti ilikuwa imesimama kama ya mwenye ako na bra.
all second thoughts were wiped out.
nikamwambia tuingie kwanza. akauliza tuingie wapi, nikasema bedroom.
“oooh… mtoto wako amelala kwa kiti ndio nasikia anang’orota?”
nikajibu “eeeh. tusimuamushe”
tukaingia room nikageuka kufunga mlango 2 seconds. kupenduka, ako doggy style kwa bed na jeans kwa ankles.
hii stealthiness ilikuwa wapi 5 mins ago?
nikachomoa longi na kupanda bed. what i saw next shocked me
HAPA NDIO MAUMBWA WANAWEKANGA TO BE CONTINUED
i first thought it was a skin disease but kuangalia closely, ilikuwa whip lashes kama tano zenye zimeheal, but sio kabisa.
kama alipigwa juu ya wizi ama kuadhibiwa na bwana yake, hio hainihusu.
nikashika tako ya left ndio nipate leverage ya ku line up the shot sawasawa.
I froze up when I saw it…
a green tissue paper.
kama half a square.
imekwama tu hapo kwa mcoosh.
it’s 2017. bado wanaundanga green toilet paper?!
whip lashes…? sawa. hio naweza tolerate
but whip lashes + green tissue itakuwa sensory overload
nikaamua kupendua atleast ni interact na matiti.
nikachomoa jeans yake mguu moja and tried not to look directly at hio tissue niki lineup.
a few minutes in, akaanza shouting zake but this time in vernacular.
nikaanza kupractise venye nitakaza sura akiniambia niongeze pesa za nduru
kidogo, nasikia kitu warm and sticky kwa balls. nikassume ni sweat.
lakiiiini… nikajiuliza, I’ve felt sweat before… hio sensation ilikuwa tofauti sana.
nikaamua kuinuka kiasi nione nitulize moyo.
kumbe, vile alikuwa akishout in vernacular, alikuwa anamaanisha ati anasikia kukunia.
the wetness and stickiness… kinyesi cha mtu amekunywa Guinness sita.
#MadeOfBlack
i reached behind my back kuiokota. at first, nilijaribu kuishika kutumia hio tissue ya green, but nikaona nawaste time. i went in kama msee anaokota njugu kwa sahani.
nikaanza ku aim choo. i brought the kinyesi to eye level nika concentrate nikijaribu kuchora trajectory.
kama vile mtu hufanya akijaribu kutupa kitu.
6 seconds in, nikakumbuka hii ni kinyesi nimeshika.
nikafree throw lebron style, but ikagonga toilet rim ikaanguka chini.
she seemed unfazed na hio situation.
it’s either she was drunk as fûck or kukunia kwa bed was a common occurrence.
I’m still on the fence with that one.
nikapanguza mkono kwa pillowcase na kuendelea kijeshi to the end. a real pooper trooper
kuchomoa msedez, akaamka suddenly karibu ani headbutt. tuko face to face, our noses almost touching. akafungua macho full headlights na ku shout “UUUUUUUUWWWIIIIII” na kurudi kwa mattress.
nikajipata niko kwa mwisho ya kitanda na mguu moja imekanyaga chini. najaribu ku hold my breath but nashindwa juu ya kushtuka na kuchoka.
suddenly, akaanza kushuta continuous, kama 5 seconds nikatoka kwa bed nikaenda kwa corner ya room na kujishika kiuno wondering what has become of my life.
ceiling fan na dirisha wazi ilisaidia sana.
PNC iliingia nikasema siguzi kinyesi na mkono tena. nikaamua nikanyagie hiyo story,
yaani ni kanyagie kwa shower drain.
nikavaa zile slippers nusu za lodging nianze kazi.
kuingia bathroom, nikajiuliza silali hapa. nashughulika ya nini?
maji haikuwa kwa tap, nikaosha mikono na maji ya 90/= na kupanguza kwa pillowcase.
nikaichukua pamoja na sheet nikaziingiza chini ya mattress.
nikaeka lanye kwa position ya wasee wa drug overdose ndio asivomit anyongwe adedi.
. saa ile namuinua mguu, akawachilia ingine.
nikawacha fan na dirisha wazi na kujitoa.
njiani, nikakumbuka kumbe ningechukua back my 400/= na any other pesa ako nazo. juu mtu anakunywa Guinness sita is not a broke person. nikataka kurudi, but labda ilikuwa power nap tu. naeza rudi nipate ako radar. nikaongeza mbio nikishukuru sikuitishwa id number kwa lodging