Driving to Eldoret and Back

[magreb]

Given the nature of my job, I move around the country quite a lot. Either official trips ama nikiwa freelance. Hii imenisaidia kujua corner mingi za Kenya. As most of you are aware, mimi ni mtu mapoko poko hivi. Mipango ya kando mimi apantambua. Additionally, it may not be practical to have mipango ya kando all over the country. As such, mapoko huokolea. One of the occupational risks ni kushikwa na kanjo ama makarau, kuibiwa(though sijawahi kuibiwa. I always deposit my stuff at the reception), kuchelewa kufika nyumbani na once once kuangukia a lousy lay. As a rule, mimi huwa silali nje unless kama niko job out of town and it is not practical kurudi home. Hata madam anajua so she has never been worried hata nikikaa nje mpaka 5 in the morning. Anajua nitarudi tuu. Additionally, she knows that I travel on short notice so saa ingine naweza toka asubuhi na nipitie huko nikienda safari ya job.

There once happened an incident ambayo ilifanya karibu niwachane na mapoko. Wale wanajua Kayole, kuna club nyuma ya Nyama Villa inaitwa Wallet. One Wednesday evening, nilitoka job nikaenda wallet kumeza one two before retiring home. Kitu 11 pm, tukapigiana kwaheri na waiter nikienda home. Sasa kutoka Wallet, nikasema nikunywe moja hapo nyama villa nikicheza pool ndio niende home. Kufika kwa pool, hakukua na watu so nikakosa mtu wa kucheza naye. I had to call one of the pokos who park there tucheze na yeye. Big mistake. At this point sikuwa na plan yeyote ya kukula mtu. Tukiendelea kucheza pool, story nini nini nikamununulia beer. Looking at us you would think tumejuana kwa muda.

Sasa huyu poko kuna vile alikuwa amebeba. Unajua ukicheza pool kuna vile mtu huwa anainama akilenga mpira. Sasa this lady akiinama, unaona boobs zake(I can confirm huyu alikuwa hajawahi nyonyesha mtoto) na rasa kuna venye inasimama mbaya. Kidogo Abdala amesimama. Ananiambia, Magreb, nipe kazi. Naambia Abdala, tulia, cheza ndogo. Nikasema kama mbaya mbaya. Ilibidi nimeomba vitu. Since alikuwa kazi, akaniambia thao.

Mbio mbio hadi Bee Centre kuchukuwa room. Nilibuy CD hio kiosk iko inje ya Harry’s tavern. Alipovua, what a sight to behold. Huyu nikama ndio alikuwa anajifunza umalaya. A very tight, sweet smelling pussy, perky boobs, tight ass. Veterans wa mapoko wanajua kuna poko damu yenu itaingiana mpaka hata yeye anafuck to enjoy. Sasa ilikuwa hivyo na huyu. Tulikamuana mpaka tukajipata tumelala. Nilijisikia at 630am kesho yake. Actually simu ya mama ndio iliniamusha.

Sasa hapa ndio drama ilianza. Niko supposed kuingia job 7 a.m. for a meeting, sijafika home and madam is calling na poko anataka morning glory. I had to prioritise. Nilijua home front ndio moto sana, then job then morning glory. Guess what Magreb did. I called kazini to send in my apologies, nikaoga then set off to Eldoret where my wife’s cousin works. By 830am, I was past Nakuru ndio nikapigia madam kumwambia niko job Eldoret and I will call back later. Kufika Eldoret, I had to look for her cousin to solidify my alibi. Nilipompata, I called madam na kumwambia hata niko na cousin yake aonge na yeye. Walipomaliza kuongea, I excused myself na kwanza safari ya kurudi Nairobi immediately. I made sure to buy waru na cabbages along the way.

[Mathaais]

Aiiih mbosi we, hiyo ni upoko ya hasara kiasi gani? You couldn’t come up with a better less strenuous lie?

[ziegler]

Hahahahahahaha the end justifies the means.

[magreb]

@Mathaais

Aiiih mbosi we, hiyo ni upoko ya hasara kiasi gani? You couldn’t come up with a better less strenuous lie?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!!

[system]

10 hours drive???

[G-STAR_NYONGESA]

hapo ulifikiria kama ndume ishirini, mimi nimewahi chukua mathree hadi nakuru kwa my brother ndio girlfriend niliwacha kwa nyumba akubali story nilikua nimepanga, mimi nilikua nime bleki na poko princess hotel opposite eureka

[anonymous60]

@magreb

. I had to prioritise. .

Thats strenious after sending your apologies kazini ungeenda home ushow wife ulikesha job na mdosi amekupatia day off uoffset time ulikuwa usiku.akikubali uoge alafu umnyandue kabla aende works

[G-STAR_NYONGESA]

@anonymous60

Thats strenious after sending your apologies kazini ungeenda home ushow wife ulikesha job na mdosi amekupatia day off uoffset time ulikuwa usiku.akikubali uoge alafu umnyandue kabla aende works

kuna kazi zingine huwezi pitisha uongo ya kukesha kazini

[Mr_Black]

hahahaha…buda that cover-up was moto Sana.

[Electronics4u]

@G-STAR NYONGESA

hapo ulifikiria kama ndume ishirini, mimi nimewahi chukua mathree hadi nakuru kwa my brother ndio girlfriend niliwacha kwa nyumba akubali story nilikua nimepanga, mimi nilikua nime bleki na poko princess hotel opposite eureka

Maliza Hekaya. Ndio upate ma likes na upande cheo.

[WuTang]

Hehehehehe. Ufisi ni gharama.

[G-STAR_NYONGESA]

@Electronics4u

Maliza Hekaya. Ndio upate ma likes na upande cheo.

nitaweka jamaa wa panasonic @magreb leta zingine

[gashwin]

when i was much younger, and reckless, a girl i used to know called one evening wanting to know where I was. It was around 8.00 pm and had started on my tusker malts. I invited her over and after a meal and more drinks we decided to recall old times, and that ended up being an unplanned night out.
I had switched off my phone, having learnt in the early days of mobile telephony that drunkenness and tall tales are mortal enemies.

Following morning though, reality hit and I had to come up with a good plan. I passed by a hotel whose manager i knew and we cooked a story.

I had apparently drank too much and the last I could remember was taking a taxi. The taxi had dropped me near the manager’s hotel and i had staggered in, ordered a beer at the counter that I did not finish before i blacked out on the countertop. The manager told his staff to put me in a room from where i woke the following morning to find myself in a strange room.

Wife bought the story hook, line and sinker when she went to confirm the story with the manager. Be friendly to the staff at your local; you never know when you will need them to save your skin…

[Tarantinoh]

@gashwin, wewe uliangukia manager mpoa, kuna wale wanaumama na ni wanaume. Atakusema tuu hata muwe mabeste aje.

[Mathaais]

@Tarantinoh

@gashwin, wewe uliangukia manager mpoa, kuna wale wanaumama na ni wanaume. Atakusema tuu hata muwe mabeste aje.

Yeah wanaume wa Western wako hivyo.

[Tarantinoh]

@magreb nice story well narrated, mimi kitu hufanya ni kuingia marikiti, Waru ndoo moja, minji ndoo moja carrots, miwa, ndizi mgomba, napitia kwa Saruni maasai makaa ya Narok gunia, simu nacheza game mpaka iishe moto na nimeiweka incoming calls barred. Nikifika naambiwa ‘pole kwa safari na kwanini ulisahau charger ukaniwacha na wasiwasi’ naingia hot shower na kulala.

[Mr_Black]

@Tarantinoh

@magreb nice story well narrated, mimi kitu hufanya ni kuingia marikiti, Waru ndoo moja, minji ndoo moja carrots, miwa, ndizi mgomba, napitia kwa Saruni maasai makaa ya Narok gunia, simu nacheza game mpaka iishe moto na nimeiweka incoming calls barred. Nikifika naambiwa ‘pole kwa safari na kwanini ulisahau charger ukaniwacha na wasiwasi’ naingia hot shower na kulala.

Woooooi Jeso Kristo!!! If that woman finds out you did that to her she will deep-fry you pronto!

[fabian_mburu]

@G-STAR NYONGESA

hapo ulifikiria kama ndume ishirini, mimi nimewahi chukua mathree hadi nakuru kwa my brother ndio girlfriend niliwacha kwa nyumba akubali story nilikua nimepanga, mimi nilikua nime bleki na poko princess hotel opposite eureka

wewe chunga sana, princess haiko opp eureka.

[fabian_mburu]

@Tarantinoh

@magreb nice story well narrated, mimi kitu hufanya ni kuingia marikiti, Waru ndoo moja, minji ndoo moja carrots, miwa, ndizi mgomba, napitia kwa Saruni maasai makaa ya Narok gunia, simu nacheza game mpaka iishe moto na nimeiweka incoming calls barred. Nikifika naambiwa ‘pole kwa safari na kwanini ulisahau charger ukaniwacha na wasiwasi’ naingia hot shower na kulala.

kuna beste yangu ako kwa transport business anaeza hepa wiki, then anarudi na coconuts za marikiti na maembe.

[G-STAR_NYONGESA]

@fabian mburu

wewe chunga sana, princess haiko opp eureka.

ni hapo chini kidogo hiyo buidling ina club wallet