Dont pple get tired of these toxic alfa mails and femails?

Siku hizi staki kuskiza hizi topics za men vs women. This war is very toxic hamchokangi na hizi arguments. Mimi nowadays ata ya kubash wanaume nimejitoa. I understand that this gender wars are how some people mjake a liivng but always being negative is not a good way to show up in the world. Ata hawa watu I dont see them living to 100 with these negative energy. Let me tell you since I started dropping toxic people and channels even my health has improved tremendously. My mom was asking me how comes nowadays hajaniskia nikisema ata niko na homa? Im like Im getting rid of negative energies in all my spaces.Kuna channels nilikua napenda za kubash wanaume but nowadays I bypass why should I take in toxins from the web when my life is finally,completely free of male toxicity. Wacha wale bado wako kwa lanes za wanaume wapambane na hali zao. Mimi Im done bcz this beach is planning to live till 100, so saa hii its all about positive vibes,manfree,worldfree environment . Mungu mbele sio drama za baby mama ,baby daddy, nope. Childree. Stress free . Eating life with a big silver spoon. Stress tumewawachia. But those still in this toxic cycle endeleeni. Mimi nilishuka hio merry go round hadi nimekua motivational speaker wa keep off this toxicity jana it was ile Ndume yenu mumekataa kuoa na vile anawatetea Melvin ama Maverick Aooko. Bed sitter manenos. I was like siezi skiza mtu anakujlwa hadi kwa toilet mimi. Today I came across this and I was like it just looks toxic from this man’s body language and I know this lady to be ver proud to have divorced two men. I was like bruh Im not a divorcee, Im not a baby momma. Kila mtu abebe msalaba wake. Niskize shida zenu kwa nini and niko na shida zangu like how Ruto anataka kuongeza VAT tena. Wacha nikaskize Allan Namu who is a role model in society or Sheila Mwanyigha positive vibes. Kenya we have enough problems . Sio pothole,sio floods,sio kiangaza and fake fertilizers.

Can divorced women easily find love again and is sexual market value a myth? Aliet and Zippy Okoth - YouTube

Stopping negativity and listening to Lynn Ngugi ni kama an alcoholic saying aliacha pombe aka mizinga so now he only drinks 5 beers a day. :joy:

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Saa hii ako kwa rebuilding series, very positive and inspiring but hizi mambo ya gender wars awache kama imenishinda pia yeye atachoka tuu.Kuna siku I used to love such content but weh Zakayo has humbled me. Jamaa anatupiga character development on daily basis. Hio nguvu y6a kubishana sijui divorcees deserve love unatoa wapi na hii sirkal. Mtu ako hapa anataka kutumaliza na nyinyi bado muko kwa mambo ya love? Seriously? Maslow hierachy sambarrry?

I would not recommend, content yake whether positive or negative is low cognitive. It relies on uncertainty, fear, hope, suffering and raw desires.

Low cognitive? Human life is full of uncertainty, fear, hope, suffering and raw desires. You want us to live in denial? In a bubble? An ivory tower?

At times I understand why people say God brought Zakayo to us bcz you look at your country and you feel like you have had enough toxicity for 15 years. If you hear anything else negative, you are like bro, I can’t take anymore let me protect my sanity.

How do you go through what we go through as Kenyans and then you listen to Men’s Right Activist like Aooko or Aliet and a woman who has been through 2 marriages? Since I stopped watching that negativity I feel more at peace. If you as a person have problems with men why don’t you leave them alone instead of bitching about them 24’7? It’s like you left your exe but are always talking about them all the time. It’s toxic. Even when you see me talk about chimpanzees, it’s bcz I’m disappointed in them, you can not be disappointed in someone who you have never thought highly of and expected more from.

Can you give an example of high cognitive ndio nikuelewe? I recently watched a former drug addict quote Bible verses. I cried through out the video. The raw emotion of seeing how God can transform a life.

Please don’t tell me about atheism as high cognitive. My reverence of God isn’t cognitive, it’s based on faith, the hope of things not seen. If it’s something else other than free thinking, please share it to, I’m open to learning.

Picture Lynn through the lens of somebody like Tyler Perry or the showman himself – Steve Harvey. As any creative would agree there’s always a vibe that every entertainer gives. For Madukes, the black females suffer, rarely find love and when they do they are mistreated. For Steve Harvey, the attributes of males he indoctrinates into his female audience are demigod knights who fart lavender. Same females that never had a father growing up in the first place. I’m no Perry fan nor am I against creativity but films and media have a control on the attitudes of people and the culture as well. Reality and expectation become like day and night.

So you have no man, on each episode akina Lynn have some generic woman who was burnt with a hot sufuria of porridge by her hubby. Now you’re in the echo chamber – every man is a suspect. Even if you found a loyal, God fearing man mwenye huingia kwa nyumba at 6PM, the feminists and Lynns of the internet will spoil it for you. Despite the already proven statement that ‘good men are rare’, the next guest is an ‘emancipated’ female who had it all – a lovely marriage, a house, a good job, healthy kid…etc . The catch is that ‘she wasn’t happy’, wewe na ujinga yako unaacha your loving responsible husband to look for love in the same cesspit they get their content. Odds are your husband remarries and before long you’re on the receiving end of this harsh world. For women that don’t love money these showbiz people are responsible for the loneliness epidemic in females.

Their content is low cognitive because it rarely addresses the reasons people found themselves there, how they can avoid and communities they can create kusaidia whatever their cause is. Instead they want to skip the build up of the storyline to the climax which is more interesting and then move on to the next horrific story. So hapa pain and suffering is the currency. Before long the echo chamber inakwambia men this … women this.

As someone who has a morbid obsession with true crime and recent goings on in Kenya. I can tell you this. Most women are extremely naive. Most of the time women are viewed as harmless and trustworthy. Women then move through the world thinking that everyone is like that.

Women grow up sheltered unlike men. Infact even for me I probably would be very trusting if I wasn’t religiously following true crime to realise that women are such easy targets bcz they think every man is sincere. The thing is that our women need a crash course on the type of dangers lurking out there.

Lynn Ngugi brings the stories, we learn from them then we protect ourselves. All these women were once naive, thought nothing of red flags. I wish people like Rita Waeni had watched the horror stories. She would have been more careful for sure. There’s no love or even loneliness you will feel if you are dead or in Mathare.

Avoiding the truth doesn’t nullify it. No woman leaves a man she has kids with unless it is extremely bad. So let’s not trivialize divorce and the causes. You seem to have studied different presenters who are making money from women’s problems. Black women in America 72% of them had no father figures but wanted different even though on the ground only 28% have dad’s. Then Steve Harvey takes advantage of your unreasonable yearnings to deceive you that you only need to not sleep with the guy for 3 months. Bcz reality is stranger than fiction.

:joy: You missed my point if you are comparing an escort for Naija men with a housewife who gets beat up by her husband. Hakunanga being careful when you become a prostitute / street thug, from New York or Beijing to Cairo or any city. The day Starlet got murdered, malayas were on tiktok live saying they’ll still go to work.

My only issue with Lynn’s storytelling is that you dont need 100 exact same stories to derive the same moral lesson. Too much of something becomes normalized. Our women might think prostitution is normal, domestic violence is normal so that wakipatana na any man he’s either an ATM or a serial killer. Ukiolewa by a partner who is abusive and all you see on tv is yet another guest who was battered then you start to subsconsciously accept it as a norm.

I know alot about what goes on in marriage bcz most of my friends are married. Most marriages have the man abusing the wife in one way or another. So it IS normal. Abusing women is normalised even in the Bible. It’s not Lynn who is normalising it. It’s the patriarchy. The silencing of women is the nexus of the patriarchy. You can’t talk about your period. It’s something you hide. You can’t talk about your pregnancy. Your morning sickness, we just want the baby. You can’t talk about the experience of giving birth, you are abused by doctors and nurses when you are giving birth. Nobody wants to hear about that. If you want to talk about it, you are weak and childish. The whole gamut of the lived experience of women is shrouded in mystery and women are shamed about it by both men and women. Internalized misogyny.

When you are going through difficult situations in life, you feel very lonely. We victim blame and shame. Lynn gives victims their respect back by validating their experiences. Both the guests and the listeners who have been through the same. That’s why she’s wildly popular. She’s given a voice and validated the ish society wants to sweep under the carpet. Namely the abuse women face to be in relationship with men. Why am I single or as you put it without a man ? A huge part of it is that I wasn’t ready to put up with abuse and dysfunction from a man who you are supposed to sacrifice your life for. Otherwise I would be very married with the six kids but I just couldn’t tolerate the shit women are expected to put up with in order to ‘build a home’.

About Nigerian men and sex work, I can’t judge. I have never been in a situation where sleeping with men for money came to mind bcz well I have never not had the things I have wanted in life.

Men think of sex workers as subhuman. The same people who seek their services. Men. Prostitution is the zenith of men’s contempt for women. A woman is good enough to gratify your sexual desires but not good enough to view as a fellow human being. I don’t think poorly of prostitutes or anybody else living in the fringes of society. I have watched most every serial killers and they mostly target prostitutes.My favorite Jeffrey Dahmer targeted homosexual prostitutes. If you listen to his interview he speaks of exactly how most men view women. Though his targets are male. I don’t judge deviants. I study them bcz I see them as human just like me, I want to understand them. What took them down that road. I have read so much literature and watched documentaries to understand drug addicts, sex workers and inmates. Morbid obsessions but it helps me connect the dots and humanise people who are dehumanised and demonised.

Nigerians like many West Africans have a history of selling each other into slavery and normalizing witchcraft by vodoo, santeria and lucumi which they exported to America and the Caribbean islands. I therefore avoid them in real life. I was a customer to one and I stopped shopping at his shop just bcz he was a Nigerian and he was trying to be friendly. I listen to a Nigerian pastor
his church is near where I live but I don’t physically go there even though I listen to him on TV all the time. So I am clearly biased against Nigerians especially the men. But I don’t trust West Africans in general although I have Congolese friend who is a pastor who it’s taken me years to trust. I now love him dearly. Something that is very rare for me.

I can’t justify or dismiss everyone killed by a man who they met for whatever reason. All life is sacrosant. I don’t believe that Rita Waeni was a prostitute. This man who she met almost four times, gave her nothing. Her female friend in Strathmore university set her up for human sacrifice. Matter of fact she was a very high value human sacrifice. I suspect that she was a virgin at the time this transpired. Her obsessed exe is a sign that he never slept with her. I know this bcz it’s the same behaviour the man I dated in campus but never slept with had when I ended the relationship . He threatened to kill me, he stalked me and even sent his relatives to speak to me to reconsider my decision.

Of course nowadays for you to justify killing a woman all you have to do is cast aspersions on her character and imply that she was either eating your money or a sex worker and all the men will jump on the condemnation and dehumanisation train. Indeed she deserved to die. Which shows the duplicitous nature of the male gender. She is good enough to pay to gratify your sexual urges but not to live.

I’m not the defend Lynn brigade but she must be doing something right. She almost has a million active and ardent followers. She met an unmet need and she is cashing out big time. Reaping in spades.