Have you ever wondered why self-imposed, eternal bachelorhood manages to evoke so many negative emotions in people? Sure it’s easy to quietly mock or pity those who ended up that way without a choice, but it’s the men who do so by choice that often attract the most scorn. As fertility rates continue to plummet, from who men continue to put off marriage more and more and we see the growing chorus of media shaming tactics trying to scold men into being the men their fathers were, the dwindling marriage rate is gradually becoming a major social, economic and political issue. We are starting to enter its beginning stages, and you can rest easy knowing that pressure will continue to mount.

What’s worse is the personal derision you often face from family, friends, your social circles and even in professional circles. No matter how logical your views may be or how justified your position is given the lifestyle you have chosen and wish to pursue based on your own individual and personal choices, the fact that a good man has willingly taken himself off the market seems to irritate everyone.

You face constant shaming, accusations of ignorance, accusations of selfishness and immaturity or the endless charade of never-asked-for-advice to help you conform. Jokes about being abnormal are also common, despite the fact that bachelorhood is gradually becoming the new normal, either by choice or through divorce anyway. It’s also not something we just see from women either, men very often are the biggest perpetrators despite the fact that women have the most to gain in modern marriage.
I have often wondered why it annoys people so much, and while there are many reasons for it and it varies from person to person, there is one common theme that seems to ring true for all of them:
People are terrified by the fact that they may be doing the wrong thing.
When you have invested so much into the socially expected life path that would be considered safe and desirable, anything that contradicts that life path is going to question the validity of their life choices. It stings them even more when the person rejecting that lifestyle is showing signs of significant success or happiness. The lovable loser attracts their pity, but the successful bachelor attracts their envy even when if there is no need to be envious. The former validates their life decisions, the latter questions it and forces them to evaluate their decisions a little more closely, which is incredibly uncomfortable for many people. Those who are most doubtful of the decisions they have made very often tend to be the most scornful. Likewise, those who take a great deal of social validation from their conformity also tend to be vocal in their criticism.

[SIZE=6]The Silver Lining[/SIZE]

For the younger guys reading this, your life gets better as you get older. Women have it ridiculously easy until their late 20’s, after which it is downhill quickly. Their careers fizzle out, and between the ages of 30-35, the number of women who vacate the workforce becomes a landslide. They are simply not cut out for it and leave to “have families” when not in organisations that coddle them along.
Career wise, doors begin to explode open as women move on. Your dating options increase and if you have your shit together, women in their 30’s are throwing themselves at you while the younger women are all still on the table. You also have far more reason to maintain your health and fitness, and while your friend are starting to become as fat as their wives, the free time you have allows you to maintain your exercise regimes.

You can travel more frequently and experience foreign countries as a single man too. Count your lucky stars that you are not one of those married men with fat wife in tow while you are in places like Thailand or Brazil. You too can laugh over your beer as they walk past with drool hanging from their chins while their wives scowl at everything under the sun. You can spend more time enjoying your hobbies. You can clock up the notches as you figure out what you really like in a woman rather than settling for the first hot piece of ass that gives it up. You can take more risks professionally as you only stand the chance of taking yourself into poverty, not your entire family. You can build far more wealth as you save a small fortune by avoiding the spending habits of a costly wife.

Of course, you could always do the right thing and man up…

Hapa nimeguzwa

Watu wa kuregurgitate vitu za wengine online hawajafanya practical experiments in real life. Don’t listen to their advice.


Coming from a person whose motivator is Wamama the Kilimani mums celeb

Some insights for sure…however, your view is not everyone’s.
Let people delight in the choices they make.

Niaje slum dwelller

Acknowlege the original source


Living alone has many social challenges. But the ones who manage to pull it off experience a lot of rewards later than those who never dared. Read 1Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19.

Vipii kipiii…how’s the class 4 dropout wifudhee doing?

Exactly, just turned 30 and my friends are always mad that i am eating all my millions alone:D

Enjoy your money and your life bro. Many of us are actually sorry for falling into the marriage trap especially at an early age. Focus on making mullah, professional and career growth and giving back to society. But also take caution about women you may associate with along the way.

Not everyone is meant to be in marriage or to be a parent. Many are just pushed by relatives and friends into it. That’s why we have so many men who can’t cope with the pressure of marriage and parental responsibility, and have thus sunk into alcoholism and drugs.

Which is the ideal age to marry?

Spot on

"post marriage clarity,(P. M .C) " ndio inafanya ma beta males provider/ husband wakue very bitter na successful ,single ,alpha male,wanajua wako ndaniiiiii kabisa ya shimo lakini they are fucked.

Utamwaga ndani ya feminazi hizo mamillion zako zote azikujie,kidogo kidogo tusikie umejinyonga

It’s about standards…I got perooz with old fashioned advice at ooh sijui wewe oa tu, tutakusaidia kulea mtoto kama babake nanii. That I see as a way of diminishing my authority in the house, especially since I know mum is very controlling plus our African issues of “Kama so Mimi mngekuwa wapi”. Thing is yes I can marry and bring up a kid, but at this moment it won’t be at the standards I want.willing to bide my tim to set up something fantastic (with my brain power and style of thinking, I believe I am way beyond the usual struggling family setups that I grew up in).

Vile nakujua wewe huwezi andika article kama hii,can you quote the source

Their medieval way of thinking saa zingine inasinya,not just in marital advice issues,but pia in investment.Unawaambia wakutafutie kashamba kazuri huko ocha ununue wanakuuliza ya nini na unaishi Nyairobi…They want to hear your doing great In the City yet the opportunities are right there at their doorstep lakini hawawezi kwambia.