Dodging the bullet twice

BULLET NUMBER ONE
Nikiwa undergrad final year,nilianza kukuwa close na dem flani alikuwa ana study maths pale UoN chiromo campus.Pia yeye alikua 4th year.Ilikua imebaki like two months tufanye exams tungoje graduation.Ikifika jioni ma 7pm alikua anakam kwa room nguyaz chiromo tunadarana tu hakuna kukulana.Tulikua tunangoja marriage after tupate kazi.The last day of exams ndio sasa kesho watu waanze kuhama hostels we went for a long slow walk from chiromo hostels to main campus football pitch.Convo was more of sharing the future hopes and dreams,where we hope to get jobs etc etc,tuka kalia hizo ma viti zenye mafans hukalia waki watch game.Nilidara dara yeye tu akakataa niingize mjulus despite the fact alikua amevaa sketi fupi sana.Never fucked her bana.Escorted her to her room around 10pm namimi nikarudi chiromo.Alisema tutoke kampo tuoane kwanza nione wazazi wake Nyeri halafu atanipea venye nataka.Of course after campo tukapoteleana.Later on I heard she got married to a lunje dude.Halafu jana usiku at 730pm I see her in a panel of people discussing adoption on ktn.Kumbe kidem hakizai bana.Ningeoa yeye sai ningekuwa forced into submission of agreeing to adoption despite having very live and active baby creating sperms.
BULLET NUMBER TWO:Nikiwa Costa rica I hooked up with another beautiful gal.Met her through a mutual friend while we were hanging out in Mombasani.After conversation ya kujuana we hit it off nicely.She was a yellow yellow jaluo gal with thick body with a big ass.She had a 8 year old son and I didn’t care.Love ilikua moto.I proposed.Took her home to meet wazazi.As I was preparing to go to her place to pay dowry,things previously unknown started cropping up.The worst of all is that she used to allow her baby daddy to sleep over whenever she knew am not coming to Nairobi for the weekend.The watchie told me that nikaboeka sana.Then akaanza kunishow i accompany her to court whenever the court was in session to show that she is now in a stable relationship so that the baby daddy doesn’t get custody.Sometimes I had to get leave from work to attend court in Nairobi buana.Then akaanza kuitisha random 5k every three to four days.Nikaanza kuchoka buana.The engagement got strained and broken.Fast forward 8 years later,a friend asks me if I have seen my ex’s Facebook post.nikamwambia sijaingia Facebook this year,akasema it seems like she is battling breast cancer.Told him pole sana kwake.I hope she wins the battle.Couldnt help thinking that ningeoa yeye sai tungekuwa tuna fight cancer as a family.Cabcer depletes all medical covers you end up selling assets etc hata kuchangisha harambee.Kama tungepata mtoi angepatia mtoi dominant or recessive genes za kupata ama kupass cancer to the future generations.
God has been good for aiding in dodging these two major bullets.Asante Mungu.

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Life if funny you dodge those mbullets, then you choke on an orange seed and die.

Hii ni ujinga tupu umeandika hapa

That watchman was a good person for telling you what was going on.

Omba Nyasaye aendelee kukulinda. That’s why I hate villagers who deny the existence of God.

Sijasoma because najua stories za @Agwambo zote ni fantansy, pia agwambo ni bottom homosexual faggot

[SIZE=5]Only a donkey goes on his knees, proposes to a single mother of an 8 year old, introduces the single mother to his parents and continues to finance the woman despite her being pepetwad by her original baby daddy and watchman.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo you are a disgrace to the luo fraternity and hereby banned from entering Kisumu.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]If we spot you tutarushia hiyo mazda demio yako mawe.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Useless.[/SIZE]

Anakulwanga na bwana ya yule bibi matako kubwa kwa choo za inje

over to you @Euler in studio.

Kuna time Karibu nioe lanye

Hekaya poa but kuna chida ya spacing.

ulipiga magoti, ukafanya ile maneno yako?

Leta hekaya!! :D:D

Wewe tunajua ulioa maraya Mzee ya 54 years ambayo ilikuwa inauza coomer Nairobi since ikiwa 19 years

@Agwambo the only thing i have learned kwa hii hekaya ni you are at least fourty years

Nimefinya enter ikakataa kuruka into a fresh paragraph buana

Am 37 Mr @Weyn

I rarely have time for waria jinga but now am forced to give you attention.Kindly tell your Stoopid cousin who rented my house akatoa sinks zote akachimba mashimo kwa wall ndio amwage maji kwa hizo shimo akiosha face asubui that am still hunting him down.Tell him to go pirate a ship or something nikimpata kitaeleweka.umeskia you Arab wannabe neanderthal?

Ilikua mapenzi banae.Plus the poosie was tight hot and wet.Sio kubwa kama mcoondoo ya @uwesmake zenye umezoea kuchokora Mr Barrister

Ni watchie ndiye alilinda yeye, chief.