Disappointments of dating as black female


@Electronics4u huyu mama anajaza savaa na umefiii . Fanya mambo


Uwes and your team on a whole Saturday night, you guys have nothing to do except follow me around trolling my posts? How pathetic must yall be? Ama ni pesa hakuna? Toka kwa njeve, come down to the Coast uache mauchuu. Take a break. The weather is just amazing.

Sio kwa ubaya @TrumanCapote, but what was the defining moment of your life that the broke camel’s back? What was your tipping point? Ni kama kuna mwanaume alikukosea pahali bado ukona machungu.
Hebu leta hekaya.

Sameway kuna MGTOW kijiji hauwezi kosa a constantly bugging feminist.
I support redpill and @TrumunduCanyungue should understand its a mans world

To be very honest I already had a bad attitude towards marriage because my folks would fight a great deal. Though my dad was an excellent father. Most men who I have seen don’t have the level of intelligence and self discipline my father has. So maybe I measure men with him. But generally I never saw myself married to anyone I dated. Or even any man I know. Like wow what an awesome guy I would love to be married to someone like that. Because I saw like marriage requires alot of self sacrifice from a woman and unless you are going to get alot from it, since you are going to be putting in your all, in the final analysis it’s not a good deal for women. My tolerance for bullshit is very low, so anytime I saw any BS from a guy, I would just leave bcz I am just like that. I am a very good person. Most people I made friends with from my childhood, or school or church or wereva even when they are no longer in close proximity will maintain friendship with me because I am the rare type. If you lose my friendship, you may never meet anyone like me. So I also have very high standards for who I let into my life and the kind of character that I put up with. I have been in love maybe twice in my life. The two people I have been madly in love with died. Other people I dated were decent people but they prolly had weaknesses that I couldn’t live with so I just told them the truth that I couldn’t be with them for life. I don’t think there’s anyone I dated who didn’t love me and think very highly of me and want children with me because I am a very motherly person. So I can’t say that kuna mtu alinitenda bcz compared to the type of drama I see others going through, no man has ever done any shit remotely close to the kind of hell pple go through. I am sensitive person so if I was in some types of marriages or relationships I see pple in I’d be dead by now bcz I don’t tolerate stress and unhappiness very well. It makes me physically ill with psychosomatic illnesses. So I understand myself and I know what I can or can’t deal with. I am trying to think hard about bad things men have done to me I am kind of a cautious person so there’s barely anything a man can do to me. I am not those people who give my all in relationships then when you do not reciprocate or when you take advantage of my foolishness I become bitter with you. So even any anger I have towards the male species is from what I have seen men do to other women. Because me myself I am very tough, when you meet me you think that I am very soft but I am not as giving as other women towards men, men I am related to and female friends yes but men I am dating. I am not because from a young age and just observing women I learnt how men take advantage of women’s giving nature. So if I give you something as a man, it’s something I got free and I don’t want or something that costs me almost nothing. I don’t do things like helping a man move house or give men money or even do anything for them. They are disappointed bcz that’s what they are used to. Women who spoil them and have sex with them and take pills for them and all that jazz. But they respect the fact that I am principled bcz women with a backbone nowadays are almost extinct. So I am very conservative and traditional. I expect to be treated well. I don’t stop my life for anyone and make them my reason for living and my everything the way I see other women doing. The moment you start upussy I am out so there’s no time for us to become enemies. All my exes speak highly of me and I am the one who is always trying to dodge them when we bump into each other bcz I am those people who don’t want to be taken to the past. If I am done with you, I want to forget about you completely. I don’t want to stay in touch or be friends on social media the way I see some women they’re married even and they go out with their exes, talk on the phone with their exes, following them on Twitter, friends on FB. Me once we part ways you might as well be dead. I don’t want to have anything to do with you bcz you are taking me to the past and I like to focus on the present and the future bcz the past is a bucket of ashes. My friends usually laugh and say she doesn’t recycle. I think if you have good boundaries it’s hard for people to hurt you and even when they find a way to if you no longer give them your trust and you seal all the ways in which they can hurt you, you won’t be mad at them or bitter with them bcz you are taking care of yourself so they can’t hurt you anymore. I frankly can’t tell you of anything that broke the camel’s back. I am just some one with high standards for what I will accept in my life. I am not ready to put up with all the mess I see women put up with just so that they can be seen to have a man or be married. I am not that weak minded. As long as hunilishi we ungea usiku utalala. It’s me who will be suffering from relationships that don’t meet my expectations not you. I see women who the husbands cheat, the woman is the one who bought the house and is paying fees, some even take loans to give to non performing men, or buy them cars. For me there’s no point of having a man in your life if you will be his mother. Go to a children’s home and adopt someone who really needs that kind of help. What’s the point of being in a union Wea you give everything and get nothing but madharau and cheating and abuse? So I just can’t stand the nonsense I see people going through out here. It makes me angry. But si it’s their life their choice? Bas, kila mtu abeba msalaba yake. In fact imefika point I am telling my friends to not complain to me about what is being done to them bcz they chose that lifestyle and they are ones who chose to stay in unfulfilling, parasitic and abusive relationships. The choice to be stress free, disease free, parasite free is there but to them it is too costly. Life is too short to live in misery. Too short. Too too short. To be a fool for love.

I would like to know who Makena is in real life for she appears to be those cold, calculating selfish unemotional women out there who kill their partners for flimsy reasons… women whose word is final and love men who they are in control of… this is a result of some force beyond them that made them inhuman at an early age… I pity the man she calls my alpha-male-husband… Woe unto him for his end is near if for some reasons he strays and is caught eating another woman!!!

there are a lot of good dating website, like Metme Kenya or Listings360 Kenya they have a massage and a dating categories

That was a long read. So basically you don’t see yourself getting married just like MGOTW. At least you agree marriage makes most people miserable.

I’m curious, how comes the 2 men you’ve been in love with died? You sent assassins?

Meanwhile, they jam the servers with random women pics from the internet lol.

No! No! No! Do not compare me to mgtow. Those picks are the scum of the earth. And if I was a man I would have gotten married at 18 bcz Id get someone to do everything for me while all that’d be required of me is to provide for my family. Men hold all the power in marriage and nothing gives a man more power over a woman than when she has his kids. Women will put up with anything for their children’s sake. So no I don’t agree that marriage makes people miserable. It’s people esp men who make it miserable. In and of itself if both parties are selfless and give their best its the best thing. There are people who are happily married though they appear to be the minority. Marriage isn’t the problem men are. Look at gay vs lesbian relationships. The gay couples can’t be monogamous or longterm bcz of too much promiscuity and selfishness. While lesbian relationships are long term and monogamous.

One was murdered by robbers, I found out while watching news bcz after we broke up I lost touch with him completely, that was years after we broke up that he was murdered , I met him while I was still in school but working near him over the summer holidays that’s how we met and he wanted me to leave school and get married to him which much as I loved him I couldn’t do. And he was at that point of his life Wea he wanted to get married now, now, now, he couldn’t wait any longer. He was well to do so he was capable of taking care of me he was about 11 yrs older than me but my parents said no and I am those people who obey my folks like my life depends on it. It was very difficult. I was depressed severely for a long time bcz I had never loved someone like that ever and have actually never been as in love with anyone else since, I was heartbroken for a long time. Just as they say the first cut is the deepest. He was a good person. We were together 2 years and he respected my principles to remain celibate. I would go over to his place alot and he never once tried to take advantage of me. When I got older I realized how dangerous it was to be alone in a house. I think I was very naive. The other died by his own hand. He was a wonderful person, he was the only person I have ever dated who is kinder than me and who expected me to be kinder than I am. By the way for the two it was love at first, they were both gorgeous. This one looked like an actor called pheffer not sure of the spelling. Everyone I’ve dated always be like gosh you are so good in the heart, you are so roho Safi, you are so kind, you are so motherly, but him he was kinder and better hearted than me. He would help random people he did not know from a can of soup. People who did not deserve it. He was very considerate. When I would be ill, he would go buy kuku kiyenji cook me soup, do for me shopping, take me to the doctor. When we would be together I would be peaceful like a child. I am a very talkative person but around him actually around someone I am in love with I don’t talk much, I just feel subdued, I would be pretty subdued around him, he was like a tranquilizer to me, he used to do most of the talking,I loved listening to him. And he was 5 years younger than me. He had a drinking problem. But after we meet tapered down and at one point even quit. And I remember his friends would say who is this woman who has made this guy quit booze bcz he started drinking when he was a teenager after his parents split up then his mom passed on. By the time I met him his dad was also long gone. He was raised by his stepmom, she would call me to find out how I was fairing, she liked me bcz she could see how much her step son had changed since he met me and she was pressuring me like when are you guys getting married. So he got a green card and wanted us to go to Ag and relocate but I just wasn’t down with going to live in the west, I didn’t like cold weather and I also didn’t want to be away from my family bcz especially my parents love and rely on me a great deal. I am like the anchor of the family. I am the person every one respects, I am the one everyone listens to so when they have beef with each other they call me and be like talk to your so and so you are the one they listen to. I once got a full scholarship through a friend of my dad who had wanted me to go study at a Uni he was teaching, my mum said to him, the way we love her, oh no, her father wouldn’t allow it, she’s his favorite. But I digress. The plan was that he would work for sometime there and invest her then return and go into business or something on that line. Shortly after he arrived he started drinking again. Heavily, I think he was very unhappy but I don’t know what was stopping him from returning bcz he had property and was very good at business it’s not like his life depended on being and he had no options here. He was doing OK even b4 he left. So he ended his life. I was so so devastated, I thought I was going to lose it coz I had never felt such despair, anger, guilt name it. I cried every day for 3 months. Every single day I would cry and pray. My saving grace was a male friend I have who is like a father figure to me who would encourage me to pray and would call me every day to console me. I owe him bcz nothing could touch the anguish I was in, I was inconsolable. After that my relationships have been very superficial and shallow. I don’t fall in love, I just enjoy being with you but I feel nothing wen we break up bcz I don’t get attached anymore to anyone. I don’t suffer anymore bcz of relationships. And the older I get the more independent and set in my ways I become and the harder it becomes to accommodate someone else in my life. Even wen in a relationship I take my vacay, I travel with friends or even alone and men do not like that, they want women who ask them for permission and won’t do anything without consulting them. I also don’t do joint projects and investments coz I am my own person and I am happier when I don’t have to rely on the goodwill of someone else or have to take risks and trust that they won’t take advantage of me. Men want someone who trusting or gullible, obedient and cooperative, as in change your life or yourself to suit what he wants. I am not like that. I am my own person and I am the most important person in my life. After God. The other thing is that men nowadays expect a woman to build with them and some have enough from their own siblings to maybe kids, I myself have zero baggage, and I am coming into any relationship self contained. I am not asking for someone to help me build myself. I am established already. So why then would I take on some one who has liabilities, dependents and who is not yet made? I don’t a project. And I don’t want to deal with another person’s baggage if I have no baggage that he has to deal with from my end. That would be kunirudisha nyuma. Which issa a huge NO for me. So a guy’s gotta be at my level at least bcz I am not a rehabilitation center. And I am not going to build anyone. I am not a lesbian. I don’t want another woman who looks like a man, we do 50/50. Which is what most relationships are. Men don’t want to provide fully and pay all the bills, they want female mules. U cook, clean, carry pregnancies, almost die giving birth, breast feed, teach children to walk, talk, take care of them, raise them, dish out conjugal rights even when you are dead tired. Then still pay rent, fees, house bills, do shopping and take loans for him and after all that he still cheats on you and bring you diseases or impregnate your maid . Hell NO. Slavery is real. Just talk to married women ndio utafaham. Women are going through hell out here.

Ngai!! This one is a novel writer… Please, let us know where we can buy your thrillers!!! But now I understand you… I had to read it all…

Interesting read. But next time weka paragraphs.

Ideally, a relationship is about sharing, give-and-take… Do you then prefer a relationship where a man does everything for you and you do nothing for him, a 100/0 in stead of 50/50? And when would you become selfless in a relationship?


@TrumanCapote I get you have no man in your now. Right? How is your sex life? Do you masturbute? One night stands? I’m asking coz sexually starved women experience varying levels of depression and are known to be violent. Angalia hapa Nyeri venye wananume wanakatwa michudes because many are sexually ueeless! How do you manage? Hope you open minded enough to tackle this topic

OK! Let us see what men do in relationships vs what women do so that we can understand why men must provide 100% and the woman’s money must be saved not spent when she has a man.Sex gets women pg, contraceptives fail, condoms fail. The woman could get pg and get left by the man. Who will pay for maternity, diapers, childcare, food, clothes, medical care for the child or children if they are twins or quadruplets… Or catch an STI herpes, hepatitis or HIV women are 10 times more likely to catch STIs than men. And men are more promiscuous than women by far. So women are the ones at risk.

What do men do in relationships? Ask for food, ask for sex, ask for a clean house, ask for the women to take dangerous contraceptives that cause cancer so that they can enjoy raw sex.Lets not forget periods with cramps, PMS. Pads, tampons, painkillers cost money. The woman carry pregnancy for 9 months attend prenatal clinics, with all of the morning sickness, life threatening conditions like pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. At birth she could die, get fistula, have tears, CS, her body is completely destroyed, her back is affected, her bones are affected, some loose teeth, weight gain, after that 6 months exclusive breastfeeding, she needs to eat top notch foods, her nipples crack, her breast pain, she must stay awake with baby, no sleep, she must wash, feed, diaper change, hold baby, teach baby how to talk, eat, walk, potty train, take a bath, remove wisdom teeth, take baby for post natal, immunization, hospital when the baby is sick. Should I continue?

Meanwhile all a man has to do is bring home the bacon, pay all the bills and provide.

Would you like to exchange. You bcm a woman and do all that work then all your partner is required to do is provide fully and even that one thing he can’t do well or even at all without complaining.

I am not a MGTOW where I claim not to need women and a week cant go by without obsessing about women and sex. I dont do any of the above. Its against my faith.Lemme tell you who are the most depressed women. Women on the pill which I have never been on, who suffer the side effects, then get used 24’7 for sex by men and 90% of the time they dont get an orgasm. Its called being a sex slave aka conjugal rights. Worse still the man cant even pay all your bills. Anakumwagilia uchafu yake then puts you out to work. You provide sex services at night mchana you are his mule .I dont need to manage anything but how would you understand it when you as a man is obsessed about sex and women by nature. I saw a show on TV where a married woman living in the same house with her husband , has never had an orgasm in 35 years. Being shafted isnt equal to orgasm and only 10% of women get orgasms. Who would be better off in this case the one who is abstinent or the sex slave with no orgasms for 35 years but sleeping next to a snoring man after being left sore ,high and dry?

Women in Nyeri are violent because the men drink all the money and are not providers. For a PhD student your critical analysis of issues iko down. But you know whatever serves your narrative on female sexuality daktari . Did it occur to you that the women provide for everything and are therefore the men in the family hence the prospensity for violence as would be expected of a man if his wife came home late at night dead drunk and the amputation is symbolic of the feminization of the ‘husband’ that happened a long time ago when the woman become the provider and the head of the home. It has nothing to do with sex otherwise all these impotent old wealthy men wouldnt be having women all over them who have never even raised their voice at them inspite of the fact that they can not have sex at all because money is better than the biggest eggplant. Money is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Nothing kills women sex drive than poverty relationships and struggle love. If a man has money he is an alpha even if he has schizophrenia women will gladly say he’s abit eccentric and thats what makes me love him all the more.

I get it.

Now t

Now that you have brought the issue of PHD, don’t they train you on writing skills? I thot PHD students know their way through words and sentence structures. Your writing is always difficult to follow. You over repeat statements which effectively affects fluidity. One can develop headache reading through your write-ups. Be concise. In the reply above you have valid points, but the presentation diluted message impact