N/B: This is a fictional story it’s prone to exaggerations but just enjoy it.
On this particular Friday we had gone to Club signature to enjoy ourselves. Club signature Eldoret on Fridays is usually very explosive with campus females ready to warm your crotch with their asses while dancing to the music. Sponsors too were in plenty with girls their daughter’s age. I don’t judge though. Am a sinner too. Only God can judge that is if He really exists. Debate for another day. The DJ on the decks was doing enough justice to the music he was delivering it the way it’s supposed to be. The atmosphere in the club was amazing. Enough space for everyone to enjoy the night. Have a drink, dance, kiss and cuddle for the freaks. Ladies were in plenty this particular Friday moreso campus ladies from Moi University and University of Eldoret. Plenty of women in a club signifies good things. The good thing with the club is that it’s situated in a place with enough space and was well ventilated. For those who don’t know club signature moved from its former place near Club Spree and moved to where Club 411 used to be.
Club 411 used to be the place to be back then but that changed when club signature came into place. In business they say adapt or go home. Club 411 went home. It tried by rebranding to Club tilja but no one was buying to that crap. It died a natural death and was buried. The clubs to be in Eldoret nowadays are club timba and club signature. the bad thing with timber is that it’s outside town my peasant ass can’t pay for a cab from club timba to home fuck that lemmi club in a club in the CBD and then go home stress free. So this day I was with Dench (real name Denno). We called him Dench because he used to be a fan of a certain song called fester skunk sang by a dude called Dench. We were in a black Mitsubishi lancer Evolution (the cheaper version of the famous sports car model). We went in took a vacant place and ordered a 1 litre bottle of William Lawson’s whisky peasants can relate. The club was full to the brim. It was gonna be an interesting night. At about 11 pm ladies started shaking their asses at the dancefloor an invite for us men to follow suit and enjoy the dance. In no minute the dancefloor was full with dudes who wanted to ‘sugua’ the women and ‘suguliwa’ by the ladies. You Only Live Once. Dench was a hungry ‘hyena’ who eats ‘mizoga’ and couldn’t let a chance like that slip by. He went and got himself a skinny chic to dance. I don’t know why he went for a skinny lady because at a point like that the ass matters hapo sura achia mbuzi. The bigger the ass the better. That’s the point where you want the chic to feel your humungus anaconda when she twerks her ass against your groin. A skinny lady is difficult to dance since you won’t be feeling ass but bones. As @Duke of Coomersville once said ‘Real men eat meat, bones are left to dogs’ but to each his own. Raha jipe mwenyewe.
Dench would occasionally come to the the where we were seated and take a few sips of the whisky and return to the dancefloor. That day I was the custodian of the whisky otherwise utajua ‘mchele’ si ya kula pekee. At about 1 a.m Dench came took a sip and proceeded to go to the washrooms. On the way to the washrooms he had a small altercation with some dude but it was all over. You see Dench is a nigga with a temper. He gets angry fast and can land several blows on you and before you know it you are bloodied to make matters worse he was drunk. I was afraid he was gonna start a fight and get his ass beaten to a pulp which was gonna be bad for me carrying his beaten ass home and answer stupid questions from his sister of how his brother got beaten and I couldn’t chip in to assist. When I saw him go to the washrooms I knew it was over and I was wrong it wasn’t. Dench kept the grudge. Next thing I am seeing Dench carrying an empty bottle of whisky. He went straight to where the nigga was and hit him on the head so hard that it broke into two pieces. Nigga started bleeding profusely from his head. The way it happened no one even knew I just heard some chic screaming ‘Uuuui amempasua kichwa’. When Dench went to hit that nigga with the bottle the lights at the club suddenly went dark as they usually since they follow a certain pattern. The music was loud. When the lights came on thats when everything was seen the dude was bleeding. That’s when the chic she was with started screaming. After Dench hit the dude on the head he escaped through the front door but he did it slowly not to arise suspicion especially with the bouncers at the door but then she had already seen him but by luck he had already passed the bouncers at the entrance door. The music was stopped for a moment. The lady ran after Dench screaming ndo ule mwenye amempiga. Seeing this Dench started running away. People were deployed to follow him with motorbikes and even cars. I knew he was a dead man unless I acted fast. Good thing for him he didn’t run straight alikuwa akiiingia machuom where it was hard for cars to go through and hard for ‘nduthis’ to maneuver through fast.
To save my ass I also got out coz someone would have noticed I was with him and I would get a beating. I took the bottle of whisky with me it was half full. Good thing I wasn’t that drunk I could find my way out. I went out and got into the car we came with and drove away. No one noticed me. I then called him and he told me his directions, nigga was very tired he was panting hard. He had gone and hid under those places where they sell mtumba clothes on your way to Who’s pub. Those makeshift places made of wood with some space underneath. The space was too small and I could fathom how he got there. No one found him. I went to the place and he came out with dirt and dust all over him. He got in and no we were to go home lest the people found us in another club. At the junction of Kago street and Moi street, he requested I stop the car and he got out to throw up in some dark alley some metres away. Where I was there was some light. All that running made him feel that way. As I was waiting for him some light skin bitch started walking towards where I was and I told from a distance “Madam sibebi mtu hii si taxi”. In Eldoret people mistake personal cars for taxis at night. She then came to where I was and said she knows its not a taxi. She was in a mini dress and she stood out. She was curvy in the right places and her ass was well shaped. I asked her “Unataka nini baas?” She then said “si tuende shot” since I was in panic mode I couldn’t get what she meant by that. I then asked her “iyo ndo nini?” She then laughed and asked me point blank “ushaitomba msichana?” I was like “iyo swali yako ni ngumu?”
She continued “ni ngumu aje?, nimeuliza tu kama ushaitomba msichana”. I then told her “eeh mi nimetombana mara kadhaa”. She continued “ukitomba huyo msichana alafu umwage si hio ni shot”. That’s when I got what she meant. I told her I understand her now. In simple she explained herself by saying, “mimi ni malaya nikisema tuende shot namaanisha tuende unitombe alafu unilipe”. She was so direct to the point. I even wondered but then being a whore means you have thrown your dignity through the window and nothing is strange to you. I was to ask her why she chose prostitution yet she was all beautiful or she could even become a high end escort not those cheap street whores but she cut me short by saying “usiogope ntakupea service fiti utatosheka kabisa.” I wanted to say something but she cut me short again, “usiniambie utaacha hii mali fresh safi iende ivo”, (mali fresh to mean herself). Damn could she convince you to fuck her. She had the convincing power. She was just in the wrong profession, she could make a good sales lady but then that ain’t guaranteed because what she sells is done in darkness and behind closed not everyone’s cup of tea. She even gave me a go ahead to touch. “Usiogope unaeza guza uskie Mali fresh vile hukuwa”. I didn’t hesitate and I went ahead and played her boobs which were almost bursting out of the tight top she was in. They were becoming hard. She was getting horny. I dint touch her ass no way labda inanuka meffi. At that point I had a hard on. She could even notice it and she said, “ata naona imesimama si tuende tu nikupee service fiti utalike”. I was conflicted. All that time Dench was still in the dark alley. I was about to take the hooker and go fuck and then return her back when Dench showed up after what seemed liked an eternity. He then came into the car and I told the hooker “madam labda nikirudi kesho”, she seemed disappointed. I drove a few metres and then Dench asked me who that pretty bitch was. I told him she was a whore. He didn’t perturbed by it. He signaled me to stop and he called her. She entered the back seat and Dench went to the back seat to have a chat with her. After bargaining for a few minutes, I drove to some dark alley and then let them fuck as they had agreed. I go out of the vehicle and let Dench hit it. After what seemed like an eternity they were done. Dench signaled me to come back. While getting in the vehicle the whore said, “na rafiki yako hataki nimpee”. I wasnt really interested in sex with her so I declined the offer. I drove back to Kago street and she got out of the vehicle and then I drove home to get some good night sleep. Dench nilidrop kwao pia yeye akalale.