deadbeat moms ctrl v

A 63-year-old granny in this writer’s rural home is an unhappy woman. Phylis (not her real name), a widow, has to fend not just for herself, but also for two of her grandchildren. She says her two daughters gave birth, dumped their kids at her home and disappeared to Nairobi.

“They don’t send any money to support this children. When I ask about their fathers, they become grumpy and brush me off. I have to do menial jobs like tilling people’s lands, nag local leaders for bursary or even borrow money from relatives to settle their school fees, which is luckily subsidised by government,” she agonises.

Despite the bother of raising kids on their behalf, Phillis’ daughters, who seemingly lack maternal instincts whatsoever, hardly visit or communicate to know how their children are doing. So sad is the state of affairs that the two teenagers are now so used to their granny that they think she is their mother.

“Initially, I took up the responsibility rather reluctantly, but I am now used to it and see no need to give their mothers a reality check. The boys are so used to me that they treat their mothers as strangers when they visit over December,” she says.

Women with no maternal instincts

If you thought the term deadbeat is reserved for runaway fathers, think again and welcome to the world of heartless deadbeat mothers.

It is said that these women give birth without putting any thought to it, only to dump their out-of-wedlock children on their mothers to raise them on their behalf.

Another good example is a tale told to us by a city based watchman.

“The lady lives in Buru Buru but has turned her mother in Githurai into her nanny. It is the aging mother who is raising the young woman’s child,” he says, adding that the woman rarely visits, despite the short distance. It is, however, not known whether she gives her mother financial support.

It is believed that some of these women do so to avoid the burden and responsibly of motherhood.

Others, like one Evelyn do so to avoid ‘devaluing’ themselves when seeking new boyfriends or husband to marry them.

The practice is widespread… There was a time tulikua sides za Kangema kwa a function in some homestead… An old granny walked in and went to the homestead and borrowed some folks some beans and maize to go home and cook. I thought she was just a normal beggar ndio I was later told by one of the guys from those areas that the old granny is taking care of her grand children’s children. She is also the one that took care of those grand children when they were born waliwachwa kwake by her immediate kids. Now the grandchildren have grown up and they have left her their own children wenye walipata wakiwa Nairobi. Lakini pia these mothers who condone this habit should also be blamed. Why not return those kids to their mothers.


Deadbeat generation manenos.

Of course you’ll hear nothing from Njeri Chege and the other feminsists.


Feminists for you





Widespread. In mzansi there are several ngos that support grandma’s (gogo) who care for grandkids

Next time when you see Chokos in the streets, don’t put the blame to men only, some of these irresponsible women chase their kids away form their homes and the kids eventually ends up in the streets.

1 Like