So, some old man was driving through Nakuru Sunday night, hii weekend imepita. He made a call to an old friend for a touch base meeting later in the week. Almost always those meetings end up more like business meetings…the fella insisted they meet up early Monday morning 730am.
Old man finishes what he is doing quite late and decides not to sleep. He takes a shower, slaps on a suit and just heads out into the night. He is in Nax at 3am and heads out to some club out in 58 area. Reggae night is on Sundays. Reggae night, dressed up in a suit and all. Mpaka bouncer anamuuliza, “Aje Bazu, leo umejidunga suti, man!?”
Anyway, the place is packed, crowd in there is a bit rowdy as usual, old man leaves at around 4am and grabs some breakfast at Galito’s. He makes a call to an old flame and asks her if there is any other club alive at that hour. She points him to a “new” club way down Uganda road near Eveready. Turns out to be a really dope place. Try that club btw guys if you are in Nakuru. Inaitwa Eagle Nest. On a Sunday night at 5am and the club is still half full! Wierd.
Old man walks in and meets this kasmall kamama kameketi peke yake eating some fries and sausages (at 5am!). She is wearing tons of makeup and has fake nails about four inches long! Not kiddin. Hits her up and she sounds quite eager. Kazee kanakunywa tu maji and buys the little lady some beers and chats her up to kill time. The kamama has cutish face and looks fukable, kazee kanaona inaelekea saa kumi na mbili asubuhi, na hakataki kupanga room for one hour. As they chat, he realises the kamama is planning to get dicked and insists they go to her place. She sounds educated, na hata hana zile accent za wauza kuma wakikuyu.
What did talkers say? Usiende nyumba haulipii rent.
But old man says to himself, “FAK IT” and heads out with the kamama.
Wanapita hapo Blue Bay hotel huko Whitehouse, left at Bismark petrol stn, a few meters off the road, turn left into an appartment iko na parking ya cabro, mpaka iko na CCTV. OK. She locks the gate after them.
Kamama kanaacha akipark gari kanaingia nyumba. Parking bays ziko mpaka na yellow lines?!
Kuingia kwa kanyumba, ni bedsitter. Na kuna dem huko ndani anakaa college age hivi amedress kutoka ati anaenda kazi. So, oldman is now thinking…huyu msichana alikuwa amelala wapi? Kasichana kanatoka.
Old man goes into the bathroom and takes a leak. There is a mountain of makeup on the table. He wants to just screw and leave immediately. It is occurring to him that this might be a brothel, but he ignores it and takes off his coat anawekelea kwa pillow. Kamama insists on going into the bathroom ati to freshen up. He takes off his shoes, lies on the bed and puts a CD on as the kamama goes to freshen in the bathroom.
Kamama comes out and old man wants to get in and get done but kamama now wants money kabla ya mambo. She picks his coat and places it on the sofa next to the door. He pays her 2K and she immediately retorts that it is not enough money but just wants the old man to lie around for some time.
Akili inazunguka, a switch flicks. Old man jumps out of bed, grabs his coat and starts dressing up in a hurry as kamama starts pleading with him to stop. Just as he is finishing to dress up, another mama comes bursting in through the door! The door was open this whole time! Duh!
She stands looking a bit confused hapo kwa mlango for a moment, and then walks inside.
Kamama continues pleading with old man not to leave. Old man by now is all deaf ears and heads out, starts the car and starts reversing. The kamama comes out and grudingly opens the gate. Old man takes off and drives out at (as @Panyaste★ would put it) the speed of a cheetah. Kuna traffic hapo highway into town and gets in town almost late for the meeting.
Old man had never been to a brothel, but there is a first for everything.
Ukiona unaelekezwa huko sides za Whitehouse na msichana ama kamama, jua tu unaenda ndanguro. Chunga. Kumbe kamama jina lake kanaitwa, Ayub. Go figure.
Ala!