Craziest lanye stories part 2

Tuanze super thread ingine ya hekaya za lanye.

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Be creative meffi wewe

Anyway ndio hii yangu.

Sep 2023 Tuliagree na lanye mechi ikuwe kwake Utawala shots mbili 2k.

Nakumbuka ilikuwa monday na bado nilikuwa comrade nikapigia class rep kumshow mimi ni mgonjwa.

Mbio mbio mpaka Eastern bypass nikashukia Shooters Utawala kumpigia ni mteja.

Kumtext whatsapp akareply ako Nairobi town nikuje achukue room.

Kuangalia masaa ni 12noon na ka njaa kamekuja. Nilikula na kutembea kiasi then nilipanda mat na kurudi na blue balls hostel.

Class ya 2pm nilichelewa but niliiwahi na hivyo ndio hio unit nilipata 40 D ya pointi moja ikuwa supplementary

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Ulianguka mtihani juu wewe ni kondoo sio juu ya kukimbizana na Malaya 2hrs meffi wewe

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Vibe Deal With It GIF by Vibeheads

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Nilipita kuanguka ni wa supp

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I stay abit far from my g.f so there is a day guys I was so horny that I couldn’t hold it anymore so I decided to search for an online 23 year old escorts around my area code and good luck I got one. I went straight to chat with her through WhatsApp platform to negotiate pricing and where to meet. Of course she sent me her live location which was not very far from where I stay so I just decided to take a walk. When arrived I called and went in. Now readers be keen here😂
The room set up was in a way that I couldn’t see her face clearly but she had a nice body. From that day I realised that language a whore uses determines the pleasure and it can happen in a way that you become disappointed and regret meeting an escort.it was our first meeting so introduced ourselves then went straight to bed. At this point the lady said pay first which I did because I was in her house.i got hard put a CD and started fucking her. I sneaked a glance to check her reaction and you know wat guys , this bitch was looking at me very bad as if I just killed her mother the last 1 min. She then goes ahead and tells me to cum faster , imagine with all that dry spell my stick just went off untill she got shocked asking wat was the problem. I told her to change position maybe doggie, she said yes but with a condition that I add more money with an excuse that my stick is very big which in real case not true😂
Guys we argued for like 10 mins because I wanted value for my money, the bitch came up with an idea of hand job something I haven’t tried before and I firmly told her I don’t want that. I always advocate for peace unlike rexxsimba who cause chaos with primitivism. I got dressed and worked away with dissatisfaction written all over my face. Am happy because since that day I haven’t slept with any online sellers or street vendors. I felt my self esteem was lowered to a point that I really got traumatised. Wat i do nowadays is meet a lady vybe tell her my intentions invite her to my house fuck overnight a one night stand, it feels better than online venders and street whores.I also make sure I don’t visit the so called brothels. Fucking a whore needs special people it’s not my thing. I gave up.

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Kijana hata kama hukufanya supplementary bado. Ulianguka mtihani. 40 nikuhata supp na 1mk. You should score 60 and above ukiwa university. Kondoo wewe.

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I have a few e.g I knocked out a kunguru and left her when she physically tried to rob me. I lived for two years expecting to be arrested at any moment until I saw her in a super market with who I assumed was her man. The first and only time I projected violence towards a woman.

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Went to Rico pub. Hapo tu kwa stairs, ugly old women started grabbing me telling me ‘nitakupea poa’ ‘nimefika saa hii’ ‘nitakupea kabend over’

Mmoja akanipeleka place flani akanishow ‘peana mia.’

I panicked, nikirudi chini mbio.

The end.

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nilitomba @Kodiaga tanye late 2023. He catfished me nikiwa mlevi natamani kuma ya nje na picha ya vera sidika fb nikajua leo nimeangukia. fast foward in a very dingy dark room after 6 Guinness sikujua nikisetiwa doggie ni ndume imeweka fluffy cheeks mbele yangu. nilizamandani with the sweetness ubaya as tight as he was, nilitoka na mfupa ya mbuta katikati ya msedes. took 3 months to heal
He moans like a little owl

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Mohammed fucking prophet ,wat the fuck!

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Finish that mofo mitoto ya maraya

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Omba msedes ya @poyoloko akudinye 3some Na @sokwemtu

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I was pale Rico pub and nilikuwa master wa huko. I knew every girl there na si juu I used to fuck them, no nilikuwa naenda kuosha mecho and interacting with them. Then I saw this new tall girl who was very nervous. Tena alikuwa amevaa kiushamba in a way.Kuapproach mtu ilikuwa shida kwake. Akiambiwa no, anaenda akikaa ni kama anataka kulia. Nkasema lazima nitaste hako. kuapproach, she blushed but akaitikia. kuingia room nikaanza mechi. It is the tightest pussy I have ever met. Huyo labda alikuwa ametombwa only once in life. Niligonga kitu proper and she started moaning. Nilikuwa nataka kutoka but she wrapped her hands around me and told me to finish her off na ako karibu kucum. I nearly toad CD to fuck her but guilt ilinichapa nikatoka haraka hapo. lakini sijai skia grip kama hio ya pussy. Sijai muona tena and the other girls too don’t know where she went.

By @Njotii
Was in pipeline with ma guys so I see this lanyes parading themselves near an excavator kwa kichorochoro so I approach one we agree shot 150 nyumba 100 …nikaacha maboys wangu nje nikapanda na lanyes nikapeana Soo mbili ya room, Mimi na ujinga nikakosa kuchukua balance.nikaingia room na lanye akatoa nguo nikitoa boxer yangu akanishow nimlipe Kwanza…Mimi nikamshow I don’t do that Kwanza akakataa nikamshow sitaki .saa hio my dick goes south …she gets out I follow her alafu naenda kudai pesa yangu ya keja koz sijaitumia…SEMA mjamaa kukataa na kunigeuzia …alafu lanye akachukua io Soo mbili akadai ni ya kuona mapaja yake…called my boys wanisaidie na wao wakaita malanye wenzaoilibidi tumetoka mbio…ngori za lanye ondokeaga…kumbe inakuwaga deal

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By @chadwick
Some 4 years back I used to stay in Utawala. We used to go to kangundo junction to meat and drink… didn’t like the place coz of alot of Mugithi. Later I came to realize they mix other music as the night unfolds. Hapo ndo nilijua kumbe kunakuanga na mapoko ma late night…most of them are Kikuyu older women.- I like whales. So, to cut the long story short, I had been eating different mamas and I remember there is one I couldn’t take home xoz of shame and it was 6, so, I eat kwa shamba fulani hapo eastern bypass. One day , as usual, I’d drink till morning then pick and go. This time a well endowed brown lanye with a scar on her cheek asked for a drink. After looking at the ‘victims’ particulars, matako, rangi ya Thao, I knew it was time to go before six ifike. We took a taxi to my place. On the way she asked if I had something to eat in the house, little didn’t I know it was going to be my ‘last supper’. We reached and went to the bedroom direct since I was mapembe mbaya. Her undressing just made my dk to even get more turgid. They were big cavecious hips that always turn me on to even follow a woman waiting get a convo and get the contacts. Then she was tall. In a second, I was also naked and imbokolo was at an obtuse angle from the floor… She then passed naked to the kitchen and told me we have to eat first! Waah. So she cooked some eggs as I was playing with my dk on her wobbly ass. I knew hii ndio ile siku tulikuwa tunaambiwa tuandeke insha kuhusu SIKU YA NDOVU KUMLA MWANAWE. She cooked plus ugali and told me to go to the sitting room she would bring me the food. Nikaenda.
We ate, and since I was still tipsy from a whole night drinking, so I thought, I started feeling sleepy. Tukaenda bedroom…niliamka saa tisa jioni nikajipata bed. Feeling very weak. I reached for her, nop. Looked at my dick and down if there’s a used cd, nop. Hata nyumba haikuwa na harufu nya ngwati. I reached for my for my phone, nop. Nikashikwa na wasiwasi. Nikajikaza nikaamka. Confused. Went to the sito, checked around, door almost open. No small gadget of mine was anywhere to be found. Tablet, phone gone. To add salt to injury, after getting a new line in the evening, people are calling asking what emergency do I have that I need 10k asap! Then it hit me that my Mpesa plus one friend had send 7k were cleared! I reported the matter though deep down I knew it was a wild goose chase. Went to that put, the gardens severally to see if I’ll meet her but no.
The only lesson I learned is not to save family members as brother, siz or mum coz hao wakitumiwa message, watatuma million iende. But bado tunakula slices.

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By @Pontiac_made
Mchele 1 was via coffee in the morning as I prepared to get to work on Monday, woke up at six jioni n still wanted to go to work (Kuchanganyikiwa naye)
Mchele 2, Hurskies Umoja counter, found myself on a stool baesa ukichapwa mop with nothing in my pocket
Mchele 3 (FINALE) no wana talk, mcheled via REDBULL at ongeza nguvu, the last thing I remember is seriously sucking dem BOOBeco Eish!, whore picked from Hurskies Umo, dem alike wa Far East Oyole. When I woke up I had shit myself.

By @Alexo_mwenyewe
I have had many scary experiences , but gradually they scared me less. But the first risky dryfry i had was in TZ, had just cleared college and went to visit my bro who was working in dar.
He lived in a place called sinza. now for those who know, sinza is like Sodom and Gomorrah ya dar. Bar nyingi sana. Now my first weekend there and bro was going out with his girlfriend so i had the house to myself. I got bored by evening and decided to go to the nearby local and drowned beer after beer till late. As i was just about to head home, the milf bartender who had a very big ass asked me if I’m Kenyan judging by my swa. We had a light chat although i could struggle to understand her as they speak really different swa than our own. Finally when closing time came, we agreed on a price and knowing my bro would maybe come in the wee hours or not at all, nilipeleka kitu kwa bedroom yangu salama cds at hand, which had a mattress only nikaapepeta vitu. but ujue shetani ni shetani tu i removed cd midway kisiri since i wanted DF. Fucking her df and knowing my bro might get me in the act anytime, it was a sweet tension filled fk… She came to know about it too late while wiping herself aliskia maji maji sana… Nikatusiwa kumamako nyingi sana.! When paying time came, i escorted her out but shortchanged her nikatusiwa kumamako nyingi Sana the second time! "wanikula kavu na hataki kulipa! Shoga kuma######@@@@@@%/% *,@@’ Hehe… I saw neighbours curtains open so i quickly ushered her out with the promise of coming to clear my debt the next day… Never went
Three days later, we are strolling with my bro past the pub and i hear a woman’s voice shouting WEWE, UTALIJUA JIJI WEWE! my bro looks at me awkwardly and i pretend I wasn’t being addressed or didn’t hear anything. She continued blabbering some stuff which i didn’t get but deep down i was terrified of what i could have contracted… The next three months were terrible especially as there was a TZ song going kwaherini kwaherini,…about a hiv victim and was being played everywhere! Hehehe ilikuwa noma!

Your risk profile is so high, your family members should be worried.

chokosh wars tena…jameni!!!