ENJOY THE READ…Resonates to Most of us men…
The rain in Nyairofi is bringing a lot of trouble. Now yesterday was the Pope Holiday and I spent most of the day indoors watching the activities of the holy father, and reflecting on my sins and deeds. So in the evening, it started raining as it has become the norm. I decided to pick an umbrella to go look for supper. Considering that the month is between a corner and a roundabout, my pockets are very light and so are my meals. I passed through my mutura guy but the rain had forced him to close early. That is the closest I get to eating meat at this time of the month. I was disappointed and decided to go to the busheri (butchery), to take one cup of ‘thufu of knees’ with ugali-wedge and call it a night. Thufu of knees btw warms the body and makes ‘kababa’ stand straight like a flag post-but that’s another story. So after taking thufu, I decided to pass through Wa-Johana greens and fruits and buy two bananas to avoid reddening of hair from lack of vitamins. Now that’s where my evening started getting interesting. Remember it was now raining more heavily. When I reached Wa-Johana greens, a lady with a paper bag on her head came running and took shelter in the kibanda. She removed the paper on her head and started picking some nyanyas and other things. I told her pole for the rain and she smiled with a thanks. She then said, ‘I hope unaenda hii side yetu unifunikie na iyo umbrella.’ I asked her which side she was going to, and unfortunately, it was not the same direction as my house. But I took a quick Fisi-bility study of her and realized she was a good yellow yellow with neck of machete (shingo ya upanga), and was in a good mood despite the rain. I told her I was going in the same direction as her. Afterall, Fisi-cally, I would not lose anything by going that way and coming back. So after picking our things, we started walking. She did not have a sweater, and so I made sure she was all covered by the umbrella, and at the same time ensuring her hair wasn’t touched by the rain. This meant that the rain was hitting me partly on one side, considering she was abit Njoki Cheged. But this also meant we were walking very close to each other. As we walked, I told her many stories, including the history of the pope and how he was a bouncer and many other stories including how lucky I am at sportpesa. We got to a part of the road that was a bit slippery, and me being the gentleman, held her, at the same time holding the umbrella, in what I have only seen in movies. She said in a soft voice…’wow you are such a gentleman’ , words that I have never been told by any woman alive. Of coz I smiled like that’s my nature. I seized the opportunity and held her each time we got to a ka-muddy part. You never know, that’s how big things start btw. Even in Greek we say Dume imenyaga kuhaica ngombe na kurugira (A bull learns how to ‘climb’ cows by kudandia first). I thought of asking for her number, but again I would look like a king-fisi, asking for a number in all that rain. Again, one of the primary rules of Fisi-ology is to never reveal your intention very early. So we walked up to her gate. She got into her handbag to reach for her keys but seemed not to find them. That’s when she cursed, shiet!, ‘I hope my husband is in the house, ebu lemmi call him.’… I looked at her with lots of disbelief and asked husband?? She said ‘Yeaaa am married’, and then gave me a comforting-like smile. She called and the guy came to open the gate. He hugged her tightly and called her sweet words…and there I was looking at them like a hyena that had been separated from a bone. She said thanks and I started the long way back to my house. The rain got even heavier and windy, eventually turning my umbrella inside-out-butterfly style. I got to my house quite wet. Sasa leo nimeamka na homa ingine mbaya sana. Hii inataka triple shot ya Wakihara special vodka.
Now that’s what I call a bad investment, but mundurume ni wa makua na mariuka (‘A man is of dying and resurrecting’)
Enyewe vitu zingine tutalipiwa binguni aki…but maybe I saved someone’s wife from getting pneumonia you know. Pope taught us to give without expecting anything in return, but not in this way!!asha…