Condom

#Stolenhttps://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/fd0/1/16/1f602.png
Jana nimejua condom sio protection ya bol tu na ukimwi,kama sio condom hii story sijui ningewachapiaje, sasa Juzi vile nilikifika ocha from Doha,yaani kavacation… Kawaida msee akifika mtaani hukua na mioto ya kumaliza dryspell ya gulf, so kuna huyo mboch next door nilikua nikichat na yeye na alikua tayari kunifungulia server… Sasa yeye alikua anadoz kwa kakitchen, kama ushawai ishi keja za kanjo eastlando utaelewa vile namaanisha kitchen design ngani,so game ilikua imechorwa kama robbery ya KCB ya Thika…ikuss na ipewe tu heshima akiamungu,so step ya kwanza ilikua hivi, once nikiona tu kumkum bhagya imeanza…ni sneak kwa keja yake(kitchen) juu saa hio wadosi wake hukua ritho wanawatch wahindi wakikuyu akina Abugi…, ilikua kitu 8:27 hivi,vile Inoro TV ilianza kaprogramme pap, ndio mimi huyo na “KISS ME”(protection) wenye hamjui, nikasneak kwa keja ya dem… Manze kitu ilikua huko ni mattress floor box yake ya nguo na skyplast tank ya maji mpya… Nikajua sikomi licha kukosa bed,nikajiangusha kwa mattress then nikatext dem, " niko kwa bed yako", dem ni wale hawajui chelewa chelewa,akaingia…dem alikua kitu…macho yangu ilikua inaona ile design waturkana wakiona maji ya mtaro wanaona ikikaa ya dasani ama keringet…ehh…sema kuona, boobs ni zile za beyonce, haga ni ya Huddah, dem sexy combanition ya socialites wote, Ndio sisi hao makiss haziishi, nakwambia gulf ilikua imenichanganya vile willy pozee alichanganywa na mabintilee nikasahau formular ya kufungua bra, sijawai pewa chemsha bongo na bra na stress kuruka hivo,niki-unhook za juu mbili, hooks za chini nazo zinajilock…shetani akashidwa nikamake thru’ ndio sisi hao tukaanguka kwa mattress, maromance haziishi…Mara hio kapanty nikakawai nikakatupa juu, kakaingia kwa sufuria ya sembe ilikua imeekwa maji… Mimi bado niko mzima mzima hadi belt sijafungua…noma ilianza hapa sasa, mvua ikaanza wah! Nikajua hii mvua iko sent from heaven ata wadosi hawatasikia maooh my god sijui oooh take it all, eti kill it kwa game…vile tu niliinuka nifungue trao,hapo ndio nilijua saitan haishi kayole na hatumia uber, mlango ikabishwa… Hakuna chini ya bed naeza ingia…mwanaume nikufikiria, kukonda pia ni advantage, option ilikua niingie tu ndani ya skyplast…sasa niko ndani ya tank kitu dakika tano, dem ashaatoka…usitake kujua what happened badae, kumbe mama wa nyumba anachotelea maji na bucket amwage kwa tank… Mimi sijawai mwagikiwa na maji baridi kama yenye nilisikia hio siku, maji baridi na inakuchoma,ndoo ya kwanza ya mbili… Na iPhone yangu iko kwa mfuko, akili ni nywele, ata kipara ngotoo ana futhii… kumbe iPhone yangu ndio ilikua iingie kwa condom sio mjoles wangu,nikiwa katika ile hali ya submarine nikamanage kuingiza tenje ndani ya CD…nikajua sasa ata nikikufa fon yangu iko safe… Bucket badaa ya bucket zinaninyeshea tu, makagare ilikua imesimama ikatoshana pimple,…tumatako tukashikana kama jubilee na Nasa, nikinyamba, bubbles zitoka kama zile za aquarium, maji ikanifika kwa shingo, nikaomba rosary ikaisha, nikasoma bible ikaisha nikaingilia qaran ikaisha, alshabaab tu ndio wanapenda kifo kweli, nikakumbusha Mungu vile aliambia Noah,hatawai maliza watu wake na maji tena…after hio sala nikaona rainbow na macho…mvua ilikua imeisha…nikasikia pia nje kumetulia… Nikatipitoe nikatoka kwa drum, nyege zimezimika,kumbe maji ya mvua pia ni dawa ya dryspell…nikatoka kitchen ya wenyewe pole pole tu kama mwana mpotevu akirudi kwa baba yake… hivo ndio nilidecide kua priest, kuni ikisimama naingianga tu drum ya maji ya mvua…https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f6f/1/16/1f612.pnghttps://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f6f/1/16/1f612.png

wanakuja tu.

kwanza kione kwa hikyo ki-avatar kiake!

Hekaya safi on point lakini naona nikama umetaja makanika wetu hapa… iyo place ya kipara na futhi… @introvert ebu kamu kiasi

Hii tulisoma kwa cave paintings

Hehehehehe

meffi NV inaona immekuja na hekaya murua sana…

heheheheheh… annoying!!

mbwaaa

Simba wa Yuda akiwa CUB

Jingakubwa.

[SIZE=6]An Irish Blonde In A Casino[/SIZE]
March 17, 2018
https://i1.wp.com/naughtybits.us/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/naked-craps-1.jpg?resize=219%2C215
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.
She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely naked.”
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her clothes) and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”
The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching the dice.”
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Not all Irish are drunks.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men….are men.

Kabla @uwesmake akubali kununua chips na guarana

Yaani utoke pahali umetoka alafu udandie mboch,sio eti ni mbaya but considering …ama wacha tu. Salimia mboch

Still funny AF

It was St Patrick’s Day yesterday…by the way Afande @imei2012 alienda wapi @pamba ?

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Empty your recycle bin NV
Jinga saidi…saitan
cc @introvert

Executive summary?

sasawa.

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Lake limuru

he he…hizo ni mburoti maguta maguta