It never escapes me how much Kenyans want to think that they are at par with Everyone else in the rest of the whole wide world in ALL things everytrime i come to Kenya.
And to be honest,that i s how it looks like especially if you arrive at night and then drive down Mombasa Road under the cover of darkness and if you take Lan`ngata Road, you might be excused for forgetting that you were actually in Kenya!..
What?!; with all the street lighting ,billboards , high tech. Buildings and the beautiful housing estates!!!..
For a moment you forget that you are NOT Majuu!!!..
Then comes morning after a good night out and then it dawns on you!..
I will break it all down All the things that really get on my last NERVE about Kenya and Kenyans;
Traffic and the Ignorance that causes all Traffic in an otherwise relatively “small” city!
Nairobi, is small compared to many Cities in Most Countries in the world.
In my estimation, ther should be no traffic congestion and snarl ups if ALL drivers took Driving lessons and abided by the law.
Waiters and Waitresses!
I appreciate the fact that i could have Never afforded to get into most places i go to when i come to Kenya now but Fuck that!!!
I can now afford to get into "The Horse Man`s " pale Karen or any other place that i could have only have dreamt of back in the day while living in Kenya in my Msoto days.
So why do i get “attitude” from the waiters and waitresses when i come to these establishments just seeking normal service?
My own kind , (Kenyan Waiters) will serve you last just because you are Black and African and the disquiet in their Cold service suggest to you that they don`t understand why you chose to eat here when all other Africans who look like you eat pale kwa vibanda.
The last time i was i Kenya i was told that the only reason we didn`t get service pale Rangers was because i kept a “mulika mwizi” phone on the table and apparently that is enough reason to keep waiters away from your table because the think that you are BROKE!
I am only in Kenya for two weeks atmost so why do i need an expensive phone?
If you judge me by the phone i am carrying then the Joke is on you; you twat!
Unnecessary Ques!
Especially at banks!..
Nigger!; i just need to change a few bills into Kenyan currency on my way to Mombasa and i have a bus/plane to catch at 5!
I don`t have all day to wait for lazy tellers at the bank who always seem to be rubber -stamping endless documents between chatting to their peers and the Askari who is busy helping que jumpers armed with a G3 Rifle while you wait!
NKT!..
Bara bara
Wale watu wko majuu, what really gets on your nerves when you visit Kenya?
Mimi sijazoea ku - demand heshima mahali popote.
Nimezoea kuvaa High visibility vest kila mahali kama dereva wa nduthi but atleast wangoso hawanaga shuhuli na appearance.
Unaweza kuwa jamaa wa mjengo lakini uko na chapaa kushinda mtu amevaa suti so its engrained in the Mlami to heshimu everyone no matter their appearance.
Hiyo ushamba ya Kenya ya kutharau mtu juu hajavaa suti and maybe he is the Chief Engineer mahali.
Sijui AP huvaa aje lakini najua niliona ule askari alikuwa kwa mlango ameshika mtoo nje ya bank akipitisha watu watatu na bado nilikuwa kwa que alafu i get to the window and this biatch asks me for I.D ati juu niko na Pounds!
this is fucking Nairobi! and its KCB so i was left there looking like a Thug ati kabla sshe consults with the manager who comes and requests to see my Passport ati and take a copy of it huko nyuma!
Thats when i told him to go fuck himself juu if he thinks he is taking my passport out of my view,then him and the bank can go to hell!
Nilimwambia anipatie everything i had given to him and i went to a smaller Bank on Mombasa road and i was treated like an executive customer where a hot looking lady did everything for me and in 10 minutes i was out with a smile on my face!
Kenyans have never changed…ni wale wale.
Onyeshana wallet bana…hio ndio siri…ama uhakikishe wameona funguo ya gari. Otherwise hatungejua mtu kama @webdev ni birrionaire
Typical Kenyan with a phobia for being Challenged!
You would rather hear me rant of the “Thika Super Highway” nyef nyef nyef…
(Thika Road is just another Dual Carriage way ) NOT a Highway by any estimation if you ask me!!!
Anyhow, i appreciate the new attitude in Kenyans in embracing maendeleo but i will never hesitate to remind Kenyans that taking responsibility for your own personal actions is what turns a country from Third world status to First world status.
Vitu ndogo kama minding where you throw a banana peeling after you have eaten the banana.
The same peeling will eventually get washed up to the gutters and block Thika superhighway!
I am a Pure Blood son of a great Mau Mau warrior that i never got to meet!
… He was my grandfather and he died 2 years before i was born.
My maternal Granddad and grandmum died at the hands of the Colonial masters in 1952 and we were told that they are buried pale High Rise in a mass grave that a former president erected flats at!
Several inquests into these claims bore no fruit so my family and many others have come to accept and move on!
This is Kenya afterall!
Mnyonge hana hata haki ya kuzika maiti yake!