Chips Funga Culture

A few days ago I went to Natives with some work colleagues, three men and two ladies, all aged 31-37. They all have young families.

These colleagues are cool people. They love their Whiskey neat. When they get to a bar all they do is drink and talk. No dancing. No crazy stuff. So this night I get stiff bored in their company. I desperately need people my age ndio tuchangamke.

I scan around the club only to spot a crew of pretty lasses 4 tables away. They are all dressed in white. Some medium-height yellow yellow chile with a sizeable ass was checking me out. Our eyes lock for a couple of seconds. Staring competition of sorts. When our eyes meet for the third time I excuse myself, walk up to her & strike a conversation.

She is warm, talkative & fascinating. Karen is her name. I ask her to dance with me. Boy, that chile is good. We grind for awhile, get touchy. In less than an hour we are making out. She is a passionate kisser. Apparently, she stays in Kahawa Wendani. She tells me she is down for a crazy night. I take her number and promise to go bid my colleagues farewell then leave with her.

Kumbe my colleagues were watching the entire time. On getting back to our table. They are curiously impressed. They ask if the mama is my gf. When I tell them I just met her that night for the first time they get so surprised. Ati how is it possible for you to meet a complete stranger, french kiss in minutes & they agree to go home with you?

One of the older female colleague totally refuses to let me go home with my new catch. Forcing me crashed at her place in case I decide to change my mind. I was pretty drank.

Back in the office, this incident has been retold countless times. Fellas are now referring to me as the silver-tongued devil. A Legend.

Case in point, they found it strange & now think I’m a gigilo or something when hooking up in a club is perfectly normal. Every 20-something year old is doing it. It’s part of our hook up culture but for some reason 33+ year olds seem to have grown up in a completely different era as far as casual sex is concerned. Their chips funga culture is laughable.

Going through the threads I have noticed most talkers views on sex & relationships is similar to my colleagues. I can’t help but wonder what the hell is wrong with this age group!


Mchele sio rice


Uliponea ndugu. Hapo Natives ungekula pilau, wacha mchele :D:D:D


Kahawa qendani= orgies hq.


Once upon a time I visited Uncle Sam 44 while working at powerstar zimmah. Mengi sumu


You need lessons from @Ebru

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Aaah huko unabahati hukupatana na saitan

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leta hekaya

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Sijawahi wekewa mchele. I hope never to experience that.

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True, especially those living close to Nakumatt

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Mambo ya chips funga tuliacha.ain’t worth the risk.


Natives of all the places…pishori kem kem


Btchs can be cruel, a guy spent 3 days in a coma coz of mchele, na kile walichukua ni simu na pesa kidogo ya ufala


My first salary ilikunywa manji hivoo.Nlijipata pale kwa mto in between 44 na zimah kindu 5am, ata sikueda job.


Will try kesho nko off

WTF!? What night joint did he go to?

As a precaution against mchele queens, always befriend a waitress/waiter at your fave joint. Treat them with respect & tip regularly. They will always tell you if the person you are hooking up with is hooker or thug. They have come to my rescue a few times.


Maybe you have nothing to lose if you wake up in an empty house after eating pilau. You are self contained kama handbag ya kunguru.
Sisi wazee tunasimamia watu kama fefte fae.


Which threads have you been going through? Zile za our mono-balled mod? Or our celibate old-monkey mod? Or za the neckbeard with otaku fantasies, @Deorro?

Natives ina sifa mbaya.