Buying while drunk

Sasa jana was field day. Not actually was working but i was busy exploring better parts of central. After landing in nairofi from diaspora, i mobilised local thugs to go on small road trip in the name of site supervision in kikuyu and visiting a local thug who had an argument with chuff cutter at kerugoya.

The conversation went as follows. “yo bitch, you are in all good shape can you be ready lots of work here man”. Machine, “can you live me alone i am nusring a break up , or if you are in a hurry buy me beer(oiling).” “i dont have whole day bro. F you and cut damn grass”
At this point the fight started. I wont go into details but machine jumped on his middle finger and eat it up and circumcising the others.

Anyway after paying the ninja a visit, we head home and before we call it a day here comes wakinyonga. Wakinyonga got his reputation back in '07 when he could strangle anything that fell on his way. I mean strangle livestock for no reason, people during fights, even rumours has it that he tried to strangle his own dad for dfhkmhdtys his mom. Now wakinyonga happens to be my mutiri and seeing me know meant landing into kalocal.
Stories came, who died, who f who, who stole what, who passed for village superpower here etc.
Its seems like i was having good days of my life until this morning. I just realised i bought a ladies tshirt and sweater. Out of one too few i bought some stuff to ‘promote’ as they say mundu wa nyumba.

Apart from that, am bored like hell. All the stories i had in mind as hekayas around village were exchanged during wakinyongas moments. Now as it hits me am in ocha, and guys here are just waiting for xmas, i think i can hit the road to somaliland or mayb at nerfertites place. Yaaaawwhhn!!

on the scale of 1-to-heroin, how drunk are you right now?

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Umetaja dfhkmhdtys. Hio ni gani?

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Go home, you are drunk

From a chuff cutter to a piranha the story will still be the same just a different person, can’t you see?

2nd incoherent post of the day and it’s not yet 11am.

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Am glad didn’t read past paragraph one

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:D:D:D:D:D:D

YO BITCH!!!

Gavana bwana…start thinking about your image…you can’t be seen walking around the village semi-coherrent like majamaa wa “nitoe lock”…if we are to make a governor out of you…

i did paragraph 2 and ya mwisho. you’re a lucky man.

Si mimi nimeandika… It wasn’t me. My account has been hacked by opposition. The hell?!

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Drunkards everywhere.

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I didnt understand the ‘dtys’ part in ‘dfhkmhdtys’

Should stand for “daytimes” meaning the dad has a habit of dfhkm the mom when the sun is shining overhead