Black women vs. White women... Wivu itauwa watu!... Kukutiliwa!

Incase you don’t know, I’m right now caught up in the middle of the “honeymoon stage” of any new relationship!

I haven’t let my new jungu girlfriend out of sight since Saturday!

Jana, a Good friend and hustle mate of mine akanigotea ati he needs to return some drilling set that he has been keeping since Summer!
I know I’ve been asking for it since last year ni wale watu wanajua kuomba vitu lakini unless you ask for it, it’s gone!
He is a Mzansi and he knows what my Seuth Efriken ex wife put me through!
Alafu his wife are good friends with my ex wife!
I have considered nyanduaring his wife many times juu enyewe she is as fit as they come and when I met my ex wife, they were both single and she was really feeling me but I chose my ex wife over her and over the years she has made all the hints hawes mind to hook up with me.
But his husband is a good business partner and he has always had my back ikifika hustle.
I am also not a spineless snake.
Jana jamaa akadai ati he will finally drop off my drilling set juu I need to fix my garden shed.

I’m balls deep in my new jungu girlfriend ka morning glory and then we hear PA,PA, PA!!!
Beste Yuko nje hajui I have company and in the middle of something!.. Kikikikkkk…

Anyway,. Knew it was him nikamfungulia.

Long story short,I saw the real woman come out from my new girlfriend!..

Hi ni saa tatu asubuhi lakini she quickly dresses up, she walks into the sitting room and politely bows down as I introduce her to my friend!
In no time, she is in the kitchen naskia vyombo zikilia and all the while Mimi na beste yangu ni risto Tu!
Believe me or not, by half ten, niliona my future wife alikuwa kutunawisha mikono!!!
Ugali na chicken gizzards with skumawiki on the side ishaiva!
I honestly haven’t seen that since I was married!
Na huyu ni mlami for crying out loud!!!

Beste yangu alinitupia zile macho za " MA NIGGA!.."

Lakini ubaya jinga ilienda kuambia wife yake and I am assuming that it was why my estranged wife was on the phone leo asubuhi reminding me of my responsibilities although hachukuagi simu nikimgotea!..

Nimekuwa talk of the town… ATI the only African man with a “real African woman!” Na
ni mlami!

Huyu Mimi naoa!
To @Miss Finest Wine ,@Purple na wengineo… Compe no compe kiroho Safi!
If you can’t wash my hands na jug ya maji warm before serving me the ugali that you prepared yourself, there is some jungu chick with a bigger booty willing and able to do so!

Ebrufication and all Protocols observed!
(Mbisha ya toolbox)


Go ahead buddy!

Seems she has been researching on “Roles and duties of an African wife”
Hehehehe… I really do wish you two the best.

Asante. It means alot.

Emmanuel Eboue loading 96%…

sometimes i get mixed up Sir.

Don’t Hate, Celebrate!
I respect your opinions on African single mothers lakini raundi hii wacha nijibambe!
Negro priss!!!

Karibu. I hope, in turn, you do right by her side.

Way to go bro way to go. The only critique is simple. Why are you STILL harbouring thoughts on somebody’s wife ? Kwanza someone you call a ‘friend’ ? What kind of a bro are you?

Waweru wame kutomba leo?

Get in!!

tomba mutu

Kafuda hana kakitu

And he is about to have even less:D

Ati efidens ni tool box wacha kutubeba ufala, ata kama bro wangu anaitwa kabuda kama wewe!

‘Half’ of less.

tomba toolbox jinga hii kama huwezi leta mbicha

Ka-Buda, I don’t feel envious of guys in your shoes. I feel sorry for you, how many nights have I sat up late listening to sob stories about failed mixed race relationships?. Sababu they ‘move on’ sooooo quick, before you know it she is busy with your mzansi mate. You know they will shag anyone if they have the hots for each other. C’ommon you gaddamn know this. Hata kwa ofisi company parties jameni! I will not ask how quickly she learnt how to make our UG as it not the easiest stuff to make! may’be just may’be she has been with a Kenyan dude before, coz I thought she was with a mnaijo and fufu is a whole different cuisine. Anyways her past is not that relevant. Those who don’t have a past have no future so we say.

All I am gonna say Bro is I wish you all the happiness in the world, I know how the game goes lakini while at it… ‘kunawisha mkono na maji ya jug sifanyi mimi’. Nope. :stuck_out_tongue: Uende kwa bathroom. Kudos to her for understanding our African culture regardless,seems to know her place, the way KB wants it. Sasa pls organise chapos and ndengus cooking lesson kwangu at a small fee.

Meanwhile @Purple…Sis pls do not let me down when I come asking for ‘counsellors’ links’ kendo 3 months down the road. Max.

Like effing clockwork!

This is upusss of the highest degree for 3 reasons and possibly pure imagination of which creativity nitakupea 5/10

  1. she bowed down as you introd her :D:D:D this one made be LOL. Never in a million years. If you wanna show respect tumia mikoni miwili but bowing? Are you an angel of God? I doubt a mzungu would do this.

  2. How did she learn to cook ugali solo in such a short time? Just be honest she made a bologna sandwich and threw in some mayo and tomatoes for extra flavour. Wazungu are excellent at this.

  3. By kunawisha mkono it’s obvious you meant she directed you to the kitchen or bathroom sink with hot and cold running water because who nawishas mikono in this era?

Just trynna keep you honest.