Best ever

Na mweke namba

I can relate to this.
There was this yellow yellow I was dating back then while I still lived in a single room. Mnyaduano used to take place kwa lodgo since we lived in opposite sides of town alafu kila mtu anaenda kwake.
One long weekend I took her to my place anticipating three days of heavenly sex.
Kufika keja straight to bedminton and afterwards I fell sound asleep since we had taken some pints before leaving town.
I was woken up by a large ‚Äėshwaaaaaaah‚Äô sound.
The bitch was urinating in my basin.
I asked her what the ferk she thought she was doing and she said where they lived they never ventured out at night. I asked her to take the basin out and pour in the outside communal toilets and she refused saying she was yet to urinate some more before morning.
My appetite for her disappeared and I threw her out at the crack of dawn.
She was from Huruma.

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Kisokorokwinyo kiliniandama Kwa safari toka Mji wa Nairobi jumapili…tuseme Monday matokeo ya kazi ni haya.[ATTACH=full]79988[/ATTACH]

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alete number

How old are you??? Damn! Chasing dolt skirts

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Dolt skirts ndio nini?

Dumb chicks

Iko tu ndee until the next available guy alafu ita amsha lips vile doggy uflap maskio

please!! please!! I beg io ujinga jiwekee never ever let it come out like that again. Not cool!!!

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Ata chick akuwe ndumb, cooomer haiwezi kuwa dumb

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Nakuru. Summerland Kanu street tarehe 23/03/2012. Kumbe mwoman was checking me as I sip my tusker with my boys who were also preoccupied with pool as I listened to lingala…no worries…that was on 22/03/2012. Midnight am somehow tipsy…ji mama likaniingilia…brown n momo kiasi…thighs aren’t visible…but can see matter core itajaa kwa kiti…cracked a joke…chunga usivunje kiti…which she retorted…tiga urimu…(stop kidding) akapiga dress Na her left hand Na kuketi facing me and places her handbag on the table.

Gora njohi(nunua pombe)…
My mind is like yaani hii momo beauty pia Ni poko as I get carried away by her nicely held jugs…I swear I saw a nipple. Nikasema sina doh…

Oh sawa reke ngikugorire umwe ureciria Ni mbesa itari(let me buy you one because you think I don’t have money).

Eeeh nikidhani Ni ujinga…tusker mbili kwaa…kidogo zingine kwaaaak. Nini hii!!!

Nyua cia maraya umuthi(drink kwa bill ya malaya leo).

We bonded laughing here n there as we drunk away.
Kitu saa Saba nikaskia amesema…nituthie ugathice…am like say again…tuthii ukahaishe kana ndukomaga Na malaya(lets go deek or you don’t deek pokos?)

Pombe ikaisha kichwa…long story short…tukatafuta room far from there just to be cautious…saa nane unusu…ma lovey dovey…my sixth sense activated. Naweza kuwa Na deal Na mwizi…wallet Na simu ikiwa imezimwa hiyooo chini ya kitanda…

Waah undress poko…waaaa Na kuanza game. Slow motion kiasi n later picked tempo. Kitu swafi…mwaga shoti mmoja ya mwaka Na kung’oa cd Na kuirusha kwa dustbin karibu Na mlango ikaingia ndani Kama bullseye juu ya uzito WA njoti ilio ndani…kikanipanguza Na tissue as I fell by her side…wonder of wonders we both fell asleep. Ni Mimi nilijiskia wa kwanza…kupinduka nakutana Na matter core looking at me…its owner facing the other side snoring away. I recollected…chini kwa bed wallet Na simu intact. Kidogo kidogo kikajipindua and opened one eye…kwani Ni saa ngapi? Six. My deek ikapiga salute. Kaa vizuri…mimi huyo nikaanza chapa kitu chapa kitu…sweet moans. Nikamwaga…na kuruka bafu. Akanifuata tukaoga pamoja. Nikamuacha huko akipanguza coomer. Nikachukua wallet na kuwasha simu.

She came akavaa. Tuka exchange numbers. Hug kiasi. No mention of money yet Ni Kama tumekuwa married. Haiya!!! Nikamwambia nitabaki kiasi. She started like heading to the door…unataka tuonane lini…nikamwambia Leo…kikasema Leo kwani kazi Ni kutombana Tu… She opened the door and while it was halfway to close kikaangalia corridor tena kwa room kikasema…andu oothe ti maraya Tia kuheana keino oouguo( not everyone is a poko to dish out coomer anyhow)…the door banged shut…I shouted her name PATRICIA…PATRICIA…she was gone.

Nikaketi kwa bed and thinking how nice that game was, nika wank kamoja Na kuchomoka.

I eat Patricia every time nikiwa Naks to date.

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Fixt

hekaya swafi

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Can’t relate sisi hulipa na bill na hatusumbui[ATTACH=full]80001[/ATTACH]

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I eat Patricia every time nikiwa Naks to date.
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Respect mzee

My sentiments. Kitu ni tight alafu anafanya cowgirl wazimu. Io deep throat yake hata akue dump aje sigwes mind.

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But if her puthi is not ‚Äėdolt‚Äô, si jamaa atafikisha tu threshold.

NO NO. ME, NO!

Kuna threads hapa zilitokea ati oh Food na gym ni poa for bedminton na pombe iwachwe. Alaf pia nilikuwa najishuku sana na hii maneno ya minimum threshold set here. Well last Friday proved it wrong.
Nilidown 7 beers na cocktail glass flani na yet this nyege kuruka nymph Monica nilimchipo (was not in my plan. Was just passing to greet my friends after a party but her ass struck my eyes) alifanya nijue what my magic shtick can do. Tulianza 3hr long session (Ju jua ilitupata n tulitoka 2am) then reduced to 1hr rounds. Ni bahati nilipewa cd works days before na nikachukua za wengine ati hawazidai yet me huwa team kawasaki nilikuwanawachocha tu. Alikwama kwa hao ati anataka more shots (sahiyo ni lunch time) yet Cd zimeisha nikaona nika ametumwa. Made an exit plan that nimechelewa works ndio sa akavaa nguo ju usingizi ilikuwa mob na singeweza kudoz being my first time kuchipo dem into my mancave.
Alidai thao ati ye ni singo matha nikajua huyu ni pokoshte. But the way she boarded a taxi left me more confused.

In short Beer is life, no need for gym, exercise, njugu na junk food here I come.

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High end pokoste on a dry spell(relate financially)