BedBug Infestation - A Hekaya

In my whole life I had never encountered a bedbug until I invited this girl over to my place one time some years back.

She came in and placed her bag on my sofa…no problem, she is very pretty btw.

Anyway some days pass and I start feeling uncomfortable while sitting on my sofa…even sleeping there naskia ni kama nimelalia tumakaa tunawasha washa…I investigate and I cannot find anything.

Anyway, I decide wacha nikuwe nakalia ile kiti ingine juu I guess ni vile kiti imezeeka kiasi so the cushions must be getting uncomfortable for me.

Some time passes by and I also start feeling uncomfortable in my own bed…nimeanza kuwashwa washwa pia nikiwa kwa kitanda…and this time round there is a funny smell on it. Usiku sipati usingizi ngoo.

one night as i was in bed tossing and turning sleeplessly I jumped out of the bed and quickly turned on the lights.

I see like a thousand of those ferkers run to all the corners of the bed, and I am like furkin hell are those.? I suspect it might be bedbugs and I capture one and google them. Damn I had an infestation in my own house.

Nimechemsha maji nikamwaga kila mahali…they aint dying, I even decide to hama from my bedroom for like a month so that those little ninjas starve to death. The day i went back there a month later bana zilikuwa na mimi kama bingwa kwa ktalk.

I even contemplated burning those beddings and chairs and start again from scratch until i discovered a certain pesticide that deals with them like Museveni dealing with Besigye…I spray ten of those cans everywhere, makamasi na machozi zinatiririka kama zinafukuzwa. And that my friend is how I got rid of them bedbugs.

To date I fear those ferkers to the core. My they not RIP!

50 Likes

Guguni, cirandirikiania kambi

3 Likes

:D:D:D:D:D:D

pole lakini this hekaya is just too hilarious.
Kumbe scrotum is our resident pedpag

9 Likes

What’s thé name of thé pesticide ?

2 Likes

WA! mimi ningehama na kuwacha kila kitu never come across bed bugs and hope to never ever(touches wood)…He ufisi inaleta shida na tulidhani story ya bedbug na king stone imeisha.:D:D:D

1 Like

Heheheh. This shiet is funny like fuack

1 Like

You recited my own story…twice i slept at bluesprings for fear of going to that bed,until when I discovered the right pesticide.I got them from Githurai -Kahawa West route matatus,since then we don’t see an eye to eye with a matatu

4 Likes

wa those small brown fuckers are from the devil

5 Likes

I think the only other infestation that might come close to bedbugs is an infestation of supertankers (pubic live)

4 Likes

Mos-Kill Aerosol, I still have a back up can to unleash hell if I spot one anywhere near around me!

You have an infestation brother?

2 Likes

What is the difference between a bedbug, a kunguni, a kiroboto and a chawa? They really confuse me coz I’ve never seen any of them in real life…

2 Likes

Nakuambia…if that spray did not work, nilikuwa nishapiga hesabu za kuchoma mattress na kiti

Huyo alikuwa ametumwa kukuangamiza hehe

1 Like

Hizo ni gani tena?

yeah… its terrible I tell you…i have tried everything… Maji moto, bought New beddings, nikaanika hadi kitanda kwa jua to no avail…

1 Like

Waaah pole…tafuta hio spray ya mos-kill, buy like 20 of those cans and declare war on those ninjas overnight.

1 Like

Lice?

2 Likes

Umenikumbusha after kuambia buda akwende na pesa yake nitaenda kutafuta yangu, nilihamia bed sitter. Katika harakati za kuchase hobbies nikaingia matatu number 17, zile mzee huwa zinabeba mama mboga kutoka gikomba. Sikuwa ninajua hizo ndio distribution center za kunguni. Nimezibeba zikaanza kunest kwangu. Saa hizo ndio nimekutana na Jazzwoman mapenzi moto moto amekuja kwangu kupokea kichapo cha mzee abdalla. Baada ya kuzima taa, naskia vitu zinanitembelea na kuniuma uma najiuliza kwani hii session ilikuwa noma aje mpaka imeperforate eardrums siskii mosquito? Na hizi mosquito kwani zinadhani nimechoka aje hadi ziko na audacity ya kumoonwalk kwa mgongo yangu? Nimewasha taa nikajichapa slap ya mabega haraka haraka kasitoroke. Nimeskia kweli nimegusa kitu lakini bado inatembea, ala?! Kuangalia vizuri nilidhani ni maandamano ya haki yetu. Kuamsha Jazzwoman na kumuuliza hizi ni nini anashtuka, wani haujawai ona kunguni?! Weh, sema kugoogle solutions saa saba usiku. Maji moto hazifanyi kazi, ni kama ile tom akijaribu kupoison jerry lakini akakuwa na super strength. Zinajitokeza tu. Uzuri nilikuwa na zile inflatable pullout sofa hapo ndio tulilala. Jazzwoman hajawai wacha kunicheka. Niliamkia agrovet 7 a.m na nikasema vitu za mbao zitakuwa at a minimum kwangu.

24 Likes

:D:D:D:D

4 Likes

Hehehe,hapa narokotwa tu