This is a true story. There’s a time I was attending an SDA church, you know, just plain old worship and going home, no ulterior motives whatsoever. But being a church, of course there are people, so inevitably I saw this chiq. I came to learn that her name is Sandra. This girl is absolutely beautiful, no two ways about it, perfect specimen. Looks exactly like Leona Lewis. Infact in my mind, I thought she’s out of my league so I never even bothered to greet or engage her. One time after church, I decided to chill and just listen to the music blasting on the speakers. Then I caught her in my peripheral vision. This might sound crazy but it’s what happened. She came from the other end of the church, came and sat straight across from me and just looked me in the eye and did not utter a single word, not even hi. I still have no idea what she was up to. Now, I should have just walked away at that exact moment, but I didn’t.
Long story short, I ended up asking her on a date to which she obliged. I put in some effort, nice haircut, smelling good, nice shirt, just looking sharp. I don’t know if this has happened to you elders, but I was just trying to be funny, witty, charming. “So what do you study?” “Hospitality.” " Nice, that must be fun." “Yeah.” “Do you like the food?”
“Yeah.” A few questions later, in my head I was like, “This bitch better answer a question with more than a one word, one syllable answer.” Anyway, I got fed up and I remember thinking, I’d rather talk to a tree stump than this girl. I wanted to be a jerk and split the bill, but I excused myself to go the washroom, called one of the waiters who’s a friend, paid the bill, and went to my car, had a laugh, fired it up and left. You got 80 years on this planet if you’re lucky. That limited time is not spent on one word, one syllable tree trunks. .
You were the one putting the effort. You were the pursuer… that’s how she saw it, that’s what she showed you . She treated you per who she thought you were
Next time on The Tall Tales of Alehadro…
Woman: Alehadro My Laf, You left me…
Alehadro: It’s not you It’s me, but I must go now
*Storms off in dramatic manner"
Clearly all her responses were “yes” “yeah”. A clear pattern of sustained compliance and quick, to the point answers. Ukakasirika even before you broke the ice. You should have adjusted your questions to exploit the loophole and shusha her bendera. But you were looking for a soulmate who completes your sentences. Ukipata tuambie, lakini we suspect its that one ex of yours you regret leaving. Next time usipeleke msichana hotelini kumpigisha interview ya kiufala. Action dates is the trick.
By the way, Leona Lewis has what the white man calls a horseface.
I’m sure she talks, you just didn’t know how to probe–and that’s because you are a coward. I know you’re in denial. Worry not, there are no hard rules, maybe she was nervous too, but she obviously liked being with you that’s why she came.. Take a look at her, compliment her on a few things like her dress, shoes, nails, hair or eyes. Eg. Tell her you like her cologne, and ask her what it’s called. She’ll want to talk about herself. You aren’t expected to know any girl fashion things, that’s why you ask. But in truth all you need is to get a conversation going, no matter how trivial. Afterwards you’ll forget the awkwardness. Now, how you’ll undo having run away is another story. You think she’s a dunce; she knows you are wierd.
She was not into you. Women talk a lot especially if they want you. They’ll literally talk about anything.
You should have take the initiative and be in charge of the conversation and lead her to open. But leaving her in a hotel is prime juvenile behavior, get some balls first before asking a girl out.
Make her be interested in you ,she’ll open up and give you 1000 stories you never asked for.
Clearly she was into you because she agreed to go out with you. She was also ready for everything lakini you decided to become emotional. Did you want to bang her or hear her life story?
Uliuliza maswali ya shule wewe ndio huwa unamark mitihani?
If you asked her whether she wants to accompany you to your keja, am sure angesema sawa. Hao madem shy are seriously complaint.
Aha! That is how you get friend-zoned.
That sounds like quite a lot of work to me. The secret is to be mean hapana compliment her bure bure tu.
Given everything going on, there’s so much the two of them could have discussed.
Wacha nikupatie sasa breakdown: start with a ten-minute discussion on how quickly time seems to be passing; follow that with another ten minutes talking about the increase in accidents and encouraging people to seek salvation (kumbuka ni mwana dada ya kanisa); spend the next twenty-five minutes on politics; then, discuss the situation in Kenya (Sasa hapa nikuongea mabaya ya Ruto yote for another thirty minutes. Hapa unachunga sana emotions zisikumalize and act like @Ndindu na kupandwa na hasira (hata mimi naeza kasirika nipige mtu teke).
Finally, use the last five minutes to get to know her better and have her share something about herself, while saying a little less about yourself.
After she’s done, tell her she is not the right girl. Kasirika and leave the table.
Plan the next date and apologize.
This way jamaa @Billy_Graham atakaa kuwa very dangerous, a trait that attracts females. SHe will try to understand him and end up amejipa.
Give us an example of how you’ll have a 10 min discussion about time with someone who replies Yes or No. You’ll be talking alone, and she’ll be bored. That’s how you end up seeing two people in a restaurant together on a date, each busy on the phone. Na hizo theatrics za kukasirika bila sababu will just scare her, you’ll seem thugish aone when you are alone unaweza mrape ruthlessly na kumkatakata umweke kwenye gunia, bound for Kware. Remember, she doesn’t know you yet, she’ll think you are really that bad.
Maybe some hardened ghetto chick will like that, not a simple church girl–unless ni wale wamechoka na maisha na kukimbia kanisani kujificha.
but I didn’t.
