Been 2 months nikikunywa maziwa ya ngamia huko mandera. Guys, huko si kenya to start with. Network ina alternate between saf na pirate networks. Good thing i have made few somali/Ethiopian friends/businessman, travelled further north during weekends; places like rhamu, dolo, Luuq etc. Dryspell kibao, i took pambas’ instructions nisiende ufisi huko. There was this goat that passed each evening from the jungle, vile ilikuwa yaniangalia i swear the goat was in love with me.
Other than friends, am glad to be alive. Few weeks after starting out, the newly formed gang decided they should take me for a trip to somali, just a small town few kilometres from mandera. No passport needed, mimi huyo kuagree nikaone how kdf bombs alshabibis. Mistake no. 1
After nothing exciting other than bushes, goats, camels and rude weather tukaona acha turudi mtaani. Before tufike, hawa makdf with their SUVs… Sasa the first car jamaa akatoa mkono like telling us to turn and go back. Driver akaanza kuturn. Mistake no. 2
All the ninjas in those suvs stood up and took aim. Fuck, sikua ata nmepiga simu home ivi, blueballs kama za nyani, sportpesa outcome nilikuwa nangojea pia, plus last time nilienda church sijui. Good thing driver pia akashtuka, akastop half-way through.
Next was them shouting to spread our arms as we lied on our back.
Hiyo day nilijua you cannot trust fart. I got a very big one when one guy pointed gun on my head. Site supervisor alikuwa anatetemeka akadhani ni gun akaanza kulia. Ningefanya nni? Am not fart god to control it.
After kujitetea na supervisor bado akilia na kuonyesha ids tukakubaliwa with warning of not to go back. Huyo jamaa aliquit job next day.
Hekaya za huko ninazo kadhaa but acha nikule mbotch wa jirani juu ndo kanyau tu kanaonekana sahii. Sitaki nianze kuona paka pia ni kama zimenikufia.
hahaha the adrenaline of having a friendly pointing their rifle at your head ukijua unaweza kufa kimakosa mkononi mwa your own people…!
wacha tu
mtu hujitetea hadi na watoto wa jirani
Weird excuses my friend came up… Like kuna jamaa aliona one soldier haongei sana akaona atry kureason na yeye… Sasa, guy is like, "ooiih afande, si utu ariririe( a kikuyu word for tutetee) :D:D. It took us hours later to realise his words didn’t make sense.
Those guys were young most likely latest group of recruits, from the way some wanted to have the first shot on what kenyan police call “first witness”. That was the most haunting part of the story.
glad to have u back but while u were away I took it upon myself to keep your wife well entertained…ndo maana umefika ukapata hayuko ati ameenda kuvisit wazazi easter.
Leta Hekaya ya DF…wachana na mambo ya Sabaab. Either ya mbuzi ama mboch ama mkia ya colleagues. We are waiting 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