Anyone here who has ever started a church? Young sponsor ministries coming soon!

I’m a quiet guy. I’m the kind of guy who prides himself for being under the radar. I’m the guy who wants to walk in, handle my business, and walk out, without anyone taking notice! I hate attention and to be honest I ‘kind of look down on attention whores’. Those sad fellows who do anything to get noticed and fail most of the time or end up making an ass out of themselves.

I always though my social skills are a bit retarded. Nilikua ulee msee nikipatana for instance with a hot chick, I couldn’t have said shit to her to save my life! (Unless I’m was high, hapo! I’d almost always charm them off their panties). Otherwise, I only talked to a few family members and friends.

Now, a year ago I started my own hustle. The one thing that scared the shit out of me was meeting complete strangers and telling them who I am and what we offer! But now I’m forced to constantly talk to and seduce clients into buying, and surprisingly, I nail it 9/10. The consistent feedback I get is, “You’re a very good speaker, you sound genuine, you’re very convincing.” People trust me in an instance, Kwanza women!

It’s a shock to me! It’s one of those talents that I’ve discovered almost a little too late. If only I knew when I was younger that I can get laid without destroying my liver first!!

Right now najaribu kujiuliza where else can I apply these salesmanship skills. I’m considering joining hii biashara ya kina Bishop Kiuna. I’m not saved or anything like that, I’m agnostic. But these kilimani type middle-class women need a church that promises them lots of money, success, and rich, handsome, saved husbands. And it’s only right that someone meets that need.

If you are a charming snake-oil sells-man who’s also blessed with disgustingly good looks, bingo!Think of chicks like Arnelisa Muigai! Maybe slightly broker versions of her. Uneza imagine mathao watakuachia after sermon na ma thigh watakufungulia afterwards :D:D, Wadau nipeeni advice vile tunaanza, @Young Sponsor ministries!

the fire waiting for you in hell wacha tu…

get a beautiful wife

Laana utapata inaongeza biceps with every radi na lightining you hear

Wadau I think there should be an extra room here to admit this kind of addicts here , kama huyu c kupenda kwake ni overdose ya bhagi

Kula pesa yao kabisa, si wanaitangwa kondoo? Puthy and money will be thrown your way from all directions, lakini moto ya jahanam itakungojea.

You’d never know until you do. Go for it.
God works in mysterious ways.

Be sure so many sheep will follow you…too bad you,just like all other conmen we see on our tv’s, will lead those poor souls to hell…but whom am i to judge anyway, after all we are all sinners

If you don’t mind lying join politics. You’ll tell us how you will make sure every home can afford kilo ya nyama at least once a week if you get elected etc good luck

I wish o had half your oratory skills… I wouldn’t be here seeking advice. You’ll go to hell anyway so just go for it!

You will get lot’s of money and puthy but lose yourself in the process living a lie.

Only Africans wake up in the morning and come up with ideas as stupid as these. Idiot.

When I was your age, I also thought of starting one, till I met Matilda. Boy oh boy!

i have given you a like for presentation - you have a nice turn of phrase. i don’t approve of your intentions though.

Kiuna, Kanyari, Owuor etc all look like conmen to me. So maybe you should start by looking untrustworthy :smiley:

What did Matiro do?

Umeoa kwanza

Who is Matilda?

Can we partner in this brilliant idea?

Matilda was and is a prolific masseuse who can work wonders around your pubic region, all while belting out sweet nothings into your welcoming ears.