Alas! I am 'the other woman' - II

XX wants to be your friend.

I do the normal authorized routine FBI, CSI check by going through his profile and see that it’s him - the smiley club guy. I accepted the request two days later because the unspoken society rule that I too lived with is that 'accepting his advances too soon makes you look easy bitch, let a man sweat a littu bit." After the 2-days probation I accept his request and nigga didn’t waste time. Pleasantries were exchanged and it was later revealed that he had asked my first name from one of my friends just before we left and had somehow managed to get full Facebook names (hers) too. He’d known that from her list of friends, he’d find me. And. He. Did. Smart ass!

We texted a whole lot! Ever heard of unhealthy exchange of texts? Night/Day…but about nothing really. Just sweet nothings every now and then. We met severally in some joints in town but never intimate but we would sext a lot and finally planned to go for a sleep-over. Now, here’s the juicy part:

Same as me, nigga was also ‘about to graduate’ and would tell me many stories about the progress of his research project and how he struggles to finish that shit while staying in the hostels. We spoke the same 4 languages. Among other common things we had going, we clicked and also, hot for each other so a date was planned. This was gonna be a fuck date, no doubt. Nicely put though, I was to visit his hostel and ‘chill’ and probably talk through our projects in preparation for graduation. What a perfect match! God was making my moving on process easier than I thought - my friends were happy for me! :D:D:D and I too, was over the moon!

I get to town and he’s waiting for me when I alight. My mind: ‘Ooh, why so caring!’ Nigga doesn’t ask me whether I’m hungry so we just walk towards his school but I remember mama told me men ain’t mind readers so I just blurt out, “I am hungry and I need to eat. If you don’t intend on cooking at your hostel, I’d like us to pass by some place and have a bite before we go.” Bae takes me to Savanna and we murder some foods there then we proceed to the ‘kichinjio’.

The hostel was so tiny, it was a mini room divided into two with some heavy cardboard so that two people shared the room. I didn’t care about the space, mind: “Bae’s all I’m here for.”

“Don’t mind the space Baby, after graduation si you know things’ll get better? Also, the next door guy’s a bookworm. He’s probably deep into his books right now so he’s no trouble at all. You missed me?”

“So …so…much! Even as we speak I’m aching to be close to you. All that matters is you & I and what we’re going to do with the time and space we have at our disposal.”

No time wasted. He moved close to me and both our hands started working our way around each other’s clothed bodies. Nigga was built!!..I have a thing for a man with a nice body and also cleans up nice, beards well kept…et cetera. We’re there exchanging kisses like our life depends on it then some friend of his knocks Ati he needs some book he’d given my nigga. So we pause our activity as he looks for the book. Sasa hapa ndio Mungu alianza kuniongelesha but the louder voice which I paid attention to came from my starved punani.

First of all, the friend addressed him by a name he’d never told me about. The friend walks in despite Baes attempts to keep him out of the karoom. Akienda kutafuta vitabu stuff on that shelf all fall on the bed so its all messy after the book was found and friend leaves so we get to sorting things out to create space for resuming our core activity. It’s kitu 11pm. We start over but that name bugs me so I ask. He mumbles some shit response and I let that pass. We romance longer and now we’re about to get things done and nigga doesn’t have a condom and unluckily, Mimi pia sikubeba. So I ask him to go get some coz walking in I’d seen a canteen open. He hesitates and tell me we keep kissing he’ll go get it in a few…haaaiya…“Why?”

"Times like now there’s still traffic at the shop. I’ll go watu wakipungua "

Getting down raw is a NO, esp if we’re just in it for fun so we just lie there with his constant pestering, lights off waiting ‘traffic ipingue’. We dozed off because the next thing I heard was the door being banged loud!!! The loud knock persists then followed by a lady’s voice. She too, used THAT name!

I asked him why he wasn’t going to open the door…“Aaaah, baby…let’s just sleep. Those are just friends kunisumbua tu.”
The lady walks away coz the knocking stops.

Restless AF, I begin asking why there’d be someone, a lady, looking for him a time like that. His responses were just shit and I was instantly not in the mood for nothing. He then gets up and says anaenda nje kiasi to use the bathroom. Maze boy-shaod venye alitoka nje alifunga mlango na nje sa hakuna venye ningetoka. Na pia ningetoka, nilikuwa niende aje home at 3am??

Kidogo Naskia mlango inabishwa tena and the lady called out his name again. Sasa shida nilifanya ni kujibu!!!

“Xx hayuko, ametoka kiasi.!”

I think this made madam conclude that she was being cheated on because she stopped knocking and now called the name of the kaneighbour bookworm…in his sleepy voice akasema…“Sijaona xx tangu jana. Boyz alikuwa hapa ni Marto…xx alimuachia funguo.” Then she walked away.

Mimi kuskia hivyo bra chini ya kitanda nikachukua nikavaa. My earrings I didn’t even remember where I’d kept, Saizo Bae hajarudi…almost 1hour 30mins down…he’s not back!!! He’s left his phone on the kaside table…“Darling…” is calling him incessantly! I’m panicking, almost crying coz I don’t know how this would be happening to me. This is University of fucking Nairobi!!!..I’d heard stories Ati venye watu huvamiwa kama umechukua chali ya mtu…wuuueh…I knew that that night was gonna be my end! I knew that as I sat there, his GIRL was now rounding up her crew to come give me a beating. Kichapo cha Yesu! Walai Mimi sijawai ogopa anything in my life kama venye niliogopa hio siku!!! Kama sio kifo…i was ready to either be a cripple or an ugly bitch with an acid burnt face. Ile siku ya kiama watu husema niliiona kama nimekalia hio kitanda Wadau. What a way to die God!! We hadn’t even fucked yet!! …At least Jesus ungewacha tu aweke hata kama ni kichwa tu…I’d have a legit reason to be battered to death. Sasa obituary wangeandika Nini aki??? Haha

I couldn’t call the guy!!! I was FURIOUS, ANGRY and EXTREMELY afraid. I knew that the moment huyo dem anarudi ni mimi kuwekelewa mapanga na waanze kuimba Luwere. I think I cried a littu. Luckily nigga comes back, all good like nothing has just happened and has the guts to ask me why I’m all dressed up!!!

He was nice enough to call his cab guy and paid for my ride home. On my way to the Gate…I practically run towards the cab. I thought main chick was watching.

…and that, my dear SHUDREN, is how I slipped through a probable mob justice.

Follow up questions will be answered in my 9am press conference, tomorrow.


Kichwa tu:D:D…


  1. Dry Spell ili isha?:smiley:

Executive summary ikwuom

After hio ordeal niliingia sasa Chalbi desert. I went on a man fast

At least Jesus ungewacha tu aweke hata kama ni kichwa tu…I’d have a legit reason to be battered to death. Sasa obituary wangeandika Nini aki??? Haha

I can relate hakuna kitu mbaya kama kuachwa hanging.

Follow up questions will be answered in my 9am press conference, tomorrow.Halleluya !!!

For how long?

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D, That story has me as the Guy one time and the side chick didnt answer the knocking however she practically flew when I opened the door. Main chik hakujua but side alilost kama mashaitoo zinamsaka:D:D

Young lady , you just made my night.
Hizi drama za campus… wah.

huyo boy hajui kucheat…he should try being faithful. Before you chipo someone and do some maths first…si kubeba tu bila plan, na unajua uko na ka main chick

5 months

Ni kama findeo. I thank God for life everyday.

He should’ve gotten expert advice from gurus like you, no?

Amen to that.

Ah zi. Fak this.
Hii story haikuwa hivyo. Ume-edit.

Huyo jamaa alikuwa nasound kuwa mkali wa action kasoro rapist…nilikuwa nangojea kusikia vile watu walitingika kama mollis na waithera kacha kach kach kacha, “I salenda nimeshoka” etc etc mpaka sparks zinafly na bed inavunjika!

Nilijua tu hio ndio ulikuwa unataka. :D:D Sorre, next time.

:D:D:D masaibu ya ndugu Mariko

Superbly narrated hekaya. Uliponea.

Chupu chupu