Advice to ladies

Today there’s a photo circulating in the woman sphere of a lady who was walking naked on the road after she discovered that her husband was cheating on her. Incase you were not in women conference then listen to a male counselor.

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Stay single until you find a love that is an improvement on your single life. The love that feels natural and homely rather than fragile end anxious is the only kind worthy giving up your singlehood for. Never entertain costly associations that cut into your freedom and mental peace in the name of a love relationship. The burden of life is already heavy as it is, so if you’re not joining me for us to lift each other up I’m not interested.

She/He who has ears…

If you are single,in this page,I remind us again,being single is not a life threatening condition,and marriage is not the life support machine.Dont rush,take time,to do a thorough research,especially now that in this country,being married is one of the causes of death,depression,ulcers,suicides,murders.Dont ignore any red flag,however small the flag would be,or the red is not bright enough.

Marriage is beautiful,with the right person.With the wrong person,immediately you get married,you part ways with joy and peace,eternally.

By any chance have you ever been married? Do you have any kids Makena?

I bet that Makena has been hurt, betrayed by some guys and that she has not recovered from that. If you think critically, marriage would be a No No No… by getting into marriage, you have surrendered your life to a third party who can mess you up by a very small act… we chose to get married, though and know that our lives are at the mercy of our partner (and God)… That is the fact.

Being hurt or disappointed is part of life. I doubt if there’s any human being alive who has not been hurt or disappointed in life. So I don’t know why married folk always want to use bitterness and being hurt as a pejorative label when you speak truth to them. Btw these are not my comments. They are from Benjamin Zulu and the second one is from some one on his page. I don’t know if they are also bitter or hurt. Life hurt me, death hurt me. I have only been in love twice in my life. The people I was in love with both died, so you are right, I was hurt… by death. It took away the only 2 people I had loved and the worst thing is that they were good people at least if they were bad it wouldn’t hurt as much . I am a cerebral person, if the cost exceed benefits you won’t find me there. Anyone else I dated was purely for convenience. An exe of mine came to my office to see me apparently he’s still single and wants to reignite the relationship. I refused to see him and said that he be told I am in a meeting. A man 15 years my junior has been pursuing me for close to 4 years now. I’ve tried every thing to get rid of him, blocking him, he just keeps buying new lines. I had a marriage proposal from a single father about my age. I declined. I am so used to my freedom that if you as a man have nothing better to offer me, I won’t give up my autonomity for a downgrade. Simply put so far I haven’t met any man who has something to offer me that I can’t offer myself. They have nothing to offer and that’s what Benjamin Zulu is saying, if it’s not an upgrade to your life as a single person, don’t go for it. Men follow this advice but women usually downgrade.

You never quite healed then?

I said that in good faith… Because my observation is that you were hurt and have certainly not recovered from it. I wish I could share my story because I was also hurt twice but am now married. This had affected me for many years and was very hard for me to remain faithful nor to love in the real sense of the word. Let me stop there… But I honestly wish you well.

I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.

As I have already told you, hurt is an occupational hazard of being human. If I had never dated anyone and I held the same beliefs you would still label me hurt and or bitter. So who do you think I should blame? Since death is not a human being? FYI I am too bright to make the usual blunders that make women bitter. That’s why at my age, I am not a single mother bcz I practice what I preach. I’m sorry for you but we are not in the same boat. In fact if anything I’m the one who did the hurting to men who loved me but I felt nothing for them.

Anyway, this advice is from a counselor and it is certainly true. That’s why I pastes it here. It’s actually the philosophy I live by. If you have nothing better to offer me than I can offer myself then what is the point of me giving up my freedom to be with you actually to wait on you hand and foot and give you immortality thru my womb? It makes no sense and you are not worth my time and energy. Simple.