Well, it all started with a simple friend request on fb, Nakshi Msupa wants to be your friend. Nikasema Why not,navenye anakaa Rihana. Kidogo kidogo ka mes mes inbox,ati “thanx for the add” (btw,am I the only one who hates this stuff?) Being a gentleman I am I replied “welcome” kumbe nimeopen mlango ya maswali… unastay wapi, nikam ama ntachomwa na maji moto(usually used to confirm if you’re married or not) .Facebook being boring for a chat,we exchanged numbers.
Confirming she wasn’t on WhatsApp, I had to go back to fb to dig up her photos,I found only two more photos;one of flowers in a jar & another of heels. Masaa ya sms saved my day since she was “in love” already and wanted us to meet. This cold season buttered with a dry spell, my friend ni ngori, being a Thursday we were to meet the next day,Furahiday. That evening the caretaker came for the 1 k ya stima, unfortunately we disagreed ju hiyo tu ndio nilitegemea for my upcoming date. I bought a candle since alijifanya msee wa kplc. She called me to say good night & damn!!! That dulcet! Sauti inaweza fanya Uhuru akose freedom, sauti ya kumtoa nyoka boxani.
I couldn’t wait to see her perfectly curved physique, the night seemed to be 24 hours,I even texted her at midnight to ask whether she was tired,coz she was running through my mind. She said she was out of airtime,since I wanted her real names, I send her 50 via Mpesa,believe me not…anaitwa Nakhumicha Mafwentexhere.She got dirty & threw in a naughty question, “r u gud in bed?” After thinking a careful thought hehehe nikamshow nilianza kusave kwa kitanda since utoi,in simple English it means I’m not poor in bed. I slept with a half written text on my phone,which I deleted & wrote “good morning beb” when I woke up.
It was late morning, I hurriedly took a shower (kwa basin) then a heavy breakfast (kangumu 5 na chai) since I wasn’t sure the 1 k was enough lunch for both of us. I chose the best attire in my “wardrobe” (sinanga hiyo kitu) with no power,my smartphone was displaying battery percentage in red. Luckily I Had my mulika mwizi backup fully charged, I smeared my eyebrows with saliva as I closed the door off for the super date.
By 11:30 am I was sitted at the 3 stars hotel we agreed, sipping my glass of mango juice.I was doubting if she would appear coz this snake game was getting boring…then it vibrated,a text from her “am here,uko wapi?” Lifting my head up I saw a girl at the door. My first thought was “si ningelipa stima tu”,I replied to her smile with a plastic one. She walked in and shock on me; she had two bodyguards. Why would a short rounded gal na tumbo ya ghorofa need a bodyguard?
She introduced her friends to me as they ordered food,…chips kuku…,pizaa…
Me too… I said am good with my juo…kimoyomoyo I was like ghai nani atalipa,I don’t have even half the money.
Hii ni date ama chama? The voices in my head asked as they laughed and ate.
Under the table I removed my simcard and my discovery battery slowly & silently.With my glass of juice half empty I left my phone on the table and excused myself to the washrooms. Having calculated I can buy another mulika thief phone at 500/=, I went and went and went and went…until I reached my door steps. I guess watu waliosha vyombo all day,ama walichonga viazi, I don’t know since I blocked her everywhere and picked no calls from new numbers. Blind Date achia vipofu ka huyu Blind wa man u.
ati are you poor in bed… Heavy breakfast…