Enyewe Ticktok is like the woman’s network - the sisterhood at it’s finest!
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Mmiliaku Genevieve wrote:
This will be long, bear with me…
Dear teenage girls and young women in their early and mid 20s, this message is for you.
Gosh! You do not know how lucky you are to be growing up in this age. You live in a time when social media gives you access to thousands of older women; big sisters, mothers, aunties and even grandmas from every corner of the world, freely sharing the lessons they learned the hard way. They are handing you roadmaps they, their mothers and grandmothers never had. They are telling you the bitter truth, not to discourage or shame you, but to empower and save you.
If you are wise, you will listen, learn and unlearn. But please, do not listen to the pickme ones who are still chasing crumbs of male validation, or to the patriarchy apologists trying to guilt you into silence and submission. Listen to the women who have lived, fallen, healed, rebuilt, and now want better for you.
When they tell you to finish your education, learn a skill or two, and build your financial independence before marriage, they are not anti-love, they are pro-survival. Take thwm seriously.
When they tell you that a man much older than you telling you that you look and act mature for your age is not being romantic or nice, but a predator grooming you, believe them.
When they tell you that love is not enough to keep a marriage or relationship, that peace, respect, equality, and safety matter more, please listen.
When they say no amount of endurance, prayers or management will fix a chronic cheat or abuser, and that you should choose your peace and well-being, and get out of that ship, they are not being bitter or unforgiving. They are telling you the hard truth.
When they tell you to have only the number of children you can comfortably raise on your own with or without a husband or partner in the picture, they are protecting your future and that of your children. Listen to them.
When they say that being the other woman, 2nd or 5th wife does not mean you are special or better, that it is not empowerment but a trap. Understand that they are trying to remind you that the same cane used to flog the first wife is being polished for you too.
When they tell you that the phone, wig, bag, or shoe you are risking your peace and dignity for today is something you will be able to buy a hundred times over once you focus on your education, career, and business, believe them. There is no rush. Fine things no dey finish. You have time to enjoy your soft life, the kind you earned with pride, not one that depends on anyone’s mood or mercy.
When they tell you that the most dangerous species to women and girls are not the gorillas, lions, bears, or any wild animal, but men. Believe them. It is not fear-mongering but the bitter truth.
Because no gorilla ever followed a woman home to assault her. No lion ever passed laws controlling her body. No wild animal ever threatened to kill her for saying no, and no bear ever married an underage girl child. The statistics do not lie. Every day, women are hurt, violated, taken advantage of, or unalived by men they know, men they trusted, men they loved, men they helped, and men who are total strangers to them.
Sensible older women are not jealous of you. They are weary of watching bright, promising girls walk into the same fire they barely escaped. They know the cost of ignoring red flags. They know what grooming and manipulation is like. They know what it feels like to smile in public while dying quietly inside. They know what it feels like regretting choices they made when they were your age. They want you to skip the pain and regrets.
And please, do not let anyone convince you that womanhood is a competition. Patriarchy and misogyny thrive by making women hate, doubt, and mistrust each other. They thrive when you think your biggest enemy is another woman. The real enemy is the system that teaches you your worth is tied to how men see you.
So build sisterhood in solid female friendships, choose women who choose you back. Learn from those who share, who heal loudly, and who are trying to pour into you.
You have the chance to become everything generations before you prayed for. You have access to information, mentorship, communities, and opportunities that did not exist 25 to 30 years ago. Do not waste it chasing the kind of love and validation that demands you shrink to be chosen.
Listen to the older women who speak truth, even when it stings. They are trying to make sure you survive long enough to live fully. Listen to them, and make it harder for misogyny to win you.
This is your era. Do not let it pass you by. Learn, grow, and become the kind of women your future selves would be proud of, and your future daughters would thank you for. Take advantage of your generation’s greatest gift, which is the collective voices of experienced women all over the world who want you to win.