@Nyarwath ahadi ndo hii
While growing up we always have a childhood friend whom you blend very well hence making a perfect crime partner since your unions often translate to mischief irrespective of the situation. I had a childhood friend by the name Jack who was the best definition of a wingman. Shida tu is that life courses parted us.
Our friendship started after I finished form four for the lack of people to hang around. Back in the days I knew Jack as a trouble maker and a rascal hence often evaded him. However after form four with no one to hang around with we became best of friends. It is this nigger who introduced me to jam sessions, alcohol and refined my skills in wooing lays back in the village since he was more exposed than me. We used to have a favourite chill spot back in the village we had nicknamed jobless corner, an intersection of two roads where all people passed. Chilling in this corner was our favourite pastime since we were able to analyze the girls passing by to the market, new girls in the village and get the relevant 411s.
With hormones raging high after form four and schools had reopened my supply of poosie in the village had completely dried up. I tried to woo new lays to no avail. One day I opened up to Jack about my dryspell predicaments, jamaa akacheka then akaniomba airtime ya mbao aone atanisaidia je. I happened to have a ka fifty as balance after kupiga kibarua nkatoa thirty bob nkampea. Ten bob to serve as motivation. Mshenzi aka buy airtime ya twenty na kangumu (Hard mandazis) za ten then proceeded to call his girlfriend back in Seme Siaya county hadi credo ikaisha. Kumbuka saa hio tuko County 039. Nikajua hapa alitaka tu credo indirect. Nkajam juu nlijua ame dryfry thirty bob yangu but nkajua ntampata siku moja.
After fala asha make call akanishow kuna mboch Fulani wa jirani ye hukula, tunaeza kula pamoja. Form was aite mboch magizani then akute ya kwanza, ya pili ni yangu. Saa juu boychild amekaukiwa kabisa ikabidi tu nikubali. Huyu msee mzazi alikua ame rent for him a ka single room to serve as his study fortress near the school but he had converted it to a kichinjio. That was the popular kichinjio kwa wengi wetu wenye home ni ngumu kusneak mtu. Nkamsindikiza akaenda kuita mboch then wakapeana date akam usiku time anatoka poshomill. Juu ya dryspell mjulungbeng haikua inatulia ikijua natoa kutu ya kama four months juu nlikua nakaa tu kidogo then nakumbuka poosie ya jioni nambao kabisa. Hio day nimechapa job zote mapema kabisa juu sitaki shughuli yoyote initoe kwa mix. At long last jioni ikafika. 6pm to 8pm looked like an eternity juu 8pm ndo mboch angetokea. Wacha time ifike, dem akatupita jobless corner na boss wake wakielekea poshomill. The gods of dryspell had conspired to make my dryspell as durable as possible! Since the boss and the house maid were in good terms, mama wa nyumba aliamua kusindikiza mboch kusiaga. Nlichoka yangu yote! Saa hio Jack anacheka sarcastically akiniuliza “jumapili ulienda kanisa? Na sadaka ukatoa?” Tukachill jobless corner maybe boss atarudi mapema awache mboch kwa kisiagi tupate chance, wapi? Walirudi tena wawili nkajua expectations zetu zimepigwa HKM. Quickly we came up with plan B.
Plan B ilikua kwenda dunda kuchipo kunguru halafu tugawane. Whoever is lucky mawindoni agawie mwenzake . Teke teke nikarudi home nka piga shower, nkadunga then after supper kitu 10 pm nka sneak out of the house kuelekea dunda with my 250 shs in pocket. Back in the days Good Friends club was very popular with kunguru after the collapse of Kisombo Court (countizens expect @uwesmake can relate). Tuka land hio GF around 2300 hrs, na kuitisha soda then nkaitishia Jack soda juu alikua zero bob halafu pia juu mtakaji mkubwa ni mimi. Soda was fifty so damage a hundred. The remaining 150, 50 ilikua ya kupanda motorbike na kunguru, fifty ingine ya kumshika soda incase adai halafu the remining fifty ya fare yake kesho asubui incase plan ikam through. Mark you that saa hio ni 250 ndo nko nayo mbele nyuma but the small head was making responsible for the reasoning.
That day luck was on my side hapo dance floor kuna kunguru moja safi nlikua naijua ikakam through tuka dance then nka inunulia soda. Nkajua baaasi! Shida zangu karibu zimeisha. Around 0300 hours Jack ameniwai kifunguo ya keja kisnipper mimi na Kunguru tukajitoa ye atakam ma baadae. Kufika keja taa ya koroboi haina mafuta taa saa form ilikua kutafuta CD ya sure magizani kuvaa na kutoa kutu. After just five thrusts maze nkamwaga juu ya dryspell ya muda. Uzuri hizo siku recovery ilikua very first juu in less than five minutes I was ready for round two. Though it was a bit longer than the first round but after kama 45 seconds tena nimemwaga had kunguru imeanza kujam. Kiasi nkaskia Jack anakohoa nje nkajua hio ndo signal amewasili. Nkatoka nje kisniper ati kukojoa then akaingia kama amevaa helmet ready to continue from where I had left. The sad part is that dem alimuuliza sijui nini mjinga akajibu, ikajulikana sio mimi na aka anza kuzua kwani tuko wangapi? I had to slide back to the house in the cover of darkness to assure her but aka kataa tuko wawili.
Juu kunguru na Jack walikua wanajuana ilibidi ninja ijitambulishe na kuomba poosie pia but dem akasema sio hio siku. Hapo sasa mwenye keja akajam akamshow keja ni yake na asipo pewa dem atembeze mguu. Saa hio ni kitu 3-4 am and its pitch black outside. Time dem anajitoa ninja ikamshow “juzi walichinja mama Fulani kwa hio corner, msee wa ile boma ni mchawi hukimbia usiku na isitoshe mwenda zimu Fulani hukaa pale na hu rape wamama. Lakini juu umeninyima enda ujulie mbele”. Msichana wa watu alitense yake yote aka anza kunibeg niongee na Jack, me namshow hata me naenda home hio masaa na home buda ni moto wa kuotea mbali story za madame and nka anza kujifanya kama najitoa jitoa hivi. Dem akashow Jack ‘sawa, moja tu na usiwai ambia mtu mlinimanga colabo.” After akubali ilikua threesome hadi Muislamu akawadhini.