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Those of us who don’t have daughters cannot put mouth in this type of matter
We belong to the group of people that will suffer in old age because we don’t have daughters
Chineke inula nu
But wait !
Clem Ohameze’s “alleged”statement about his sons abandoning him when he became sick open a can of worms we have been trying to keep closed as a people.
Whether or not the man said it let us use this to interrogate a matter that eats us deep.
It exposes the dysfunctional system we have built using patriarchy
I will start with how we raise boys.
Boys are raised to not be empathetic. They are raised to not show emotions. Men don’t cry, men don’t feel, men don’t talk.
What this means is that men are raised to be emotionally disconnected from the world around them.
The only reason a man feels emotions towards the woman on his life is because of the biological phenomenon called erections and horniness. That one cannot be subdued as long as blood flows through your veins.
At the end of the day we end up with fathers who are emotionally disconnected from their children. Who thinks his only job is to provide their needs, mostly material needs.
We end up with fathers who cannot play with their sons and daughters.
Your children will look back and they can’t remember any fond memories they have with you.
How do you want them to remember you when you are sick ?
It takes a lot of patience and connections to look after a sick person and that connection comes from a place of love and bond.
Let me tell you a small story.
When I visited Australia two years ago my parents were visiting too and staying at my brother’s house. Because it was summer time, the sun comes up around 3am. Because my dad wanted to grow my brother’s garden before he went back to Nigeria, my dad would get up at 3.30am and be in the garden 
working for my brother. This actually touched my brother so much. A few month later when my dad had gone back home my brother send pictures of his garden snd harvest. To appreciate popsy for his hard work.
My brothers and I have fond memories of our father. From when he used to shower us to when he cooks special meals for us, to even when he took us to his farm and experimental fields. The man sowed love into us much more than money.
My dad does not say he needs things twice, my brothers always show up. Like sometimes it looks like we even go over and beyond for our father than our mom.
This father of ours was his mom’s only son, he had sisters. But he looked after his parents in ways his female siblings.
I remebered when my maternal grandma was sick she had issues with her leg. My dad would carry her on his back up the hospital stair case.
This made my mom and grandma cry
All the time. He did it effortlessly.
So rather than go talking about how male and female kids are better or not, the conversation should be how present (emotionally) are you in your children’s lives.
You can have 5 daughter and still be miserable at old age.
Besides women are not beasts of burden!
Remebered only when it comes to carrying stool and urine but not worthy of inheritance.
