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Fear most of the 40+ men in Kenya, especially the single ones, they’re a big scam. These men are well groomed, wear expensive colognes, dress sharply, and drive flashy hired cars. But if you dig deeper, you’ll realize you can’t quite trace what they actually do for a living. Many of them, mostly divorcees, are always in women’s DMs hunting for their next victim, the next woman to con. They move into women’s homes, live off them, and continue preying on others while declaring undying love.
They’ll eat your money, eat you in bed, and shower you with sweet, empty words, even promising marriage. In the worst cases, some might make you pay your own dowry.
Remember Don Ouko? The man whose expose we ran on Nation Media Group a few years ago? Don was a smooth-talking con artist who duped and drained over a hundred Nairobi women, all with promises of marriage. I’ll never forget when a friend called to ask if I knew Don. At that time, he was actually hitting on me. That’s when we began planning his exposé.
One Saturday, he called while we were celebrating a friend’s birthday at Maanzoni Lodge. He insisted on meeting me, and I told him to come over. When he asked who was at the party, I casually said “just friends.” He showed up after dark, and in less than 30 minutes, he had already collected contacts of almost every woman there. Little did he know, he had walked right into a trap we had set for him.
For the next ten days, his true colors showed. Every time he called, he had a problem that needed “urgent financial help.” His ATM wasn’t working. His “mother” had arthritis and was being treated at Aga Khan, requiring Ksh 300,000 monthly. His “sister” had been beaten by her husband in Kisumu and thrown out, and he couldn’t send money because “his M-Pesa wasn’t working.” Don always had a ready-made excuse to squeeze money from unsuspecting women.
We gathered enough evidence against him in less than a month, ran a full exposé, and brought down the mighty conman. He eventually refunded the small amount he had taken from us, mere pocket change to him, but thousands of women had lost millions. I remember reading the online version later on " Buyer Beware"and laughing at how smooth he had been. That story marked the beginning of Don’s end. He fled Nairobi, and rumor has it he’s now six feet under, though I can’t confirm that.
If you follow Don’s story closely, you’ll see the same pattern in many of today’s 40+ men, sharp, polished, and cunning. They’re not looking for love or marriage, just easy money. One day, I’ll tell you my story about the divorcee who tried to do the same to me.
And here’s the sad truth, most dating scenes in Kenya today are no longer about love. They’ve turned into con grounds. It’s no longer about genuine connection or quality time; it’s about who can exploit the other faster. Nowadays, the moment your man calls or visits, it’s not to spend time with you, it’s to tell you about his never ending list of problems. His rent is due, his car broke down, a family member is sick, or he “forgot” his wallet. Every call, every visit, somehow ends up being about money.
Dating has lost its meaning. Instead of affection, attention, and partnership, what we now have is manipulation, emotional blackmail, and constant financial requests disguised as love.
Ladies, be warned. These street-smart men are dangerous. They’ll charm you, con you, and leave you high and dry. At any given time, most are juggling over ten women, with a weekly schedule of who to target next. Their favorite hunting ground? Social media. They scroll through your pictures, assume you’re loaded, and that’s where the pursuit begins. And if you happen to share your girlfriend’s number with them, they’ll hit on her too , and even go after her friends.
This is the new face of dating in Kenya, not romance, not companionship, but survival games masked as love.
