STRANGE EVENTS IN THE COAST

[SIZE=5]A couple of years ago, conman @Agwambo relocated to Pwani in hopes for greener pastures.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]One Saturday afternoon, the conman decided to visit the main city determined to ‘osha macho’. Shortly thereafter, the enigma came across a petite, lightskin Pwani damsel - clad in an emerald Dera dress. Aroused, @Agwambo made his move.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Hujambo Binti? Kwa majina najulikana kama Sylvester Otieno Tinga Enigma, lakini waeza kuniita Agwambo. Nawe unaitwaje?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Damsel - “Naitwa Lulu :)”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Eish yawa! Umenipendeza dada. Si twende chumbani pangu tunywe kahawa na mahamri? Nina njaa kama burukenge ;)”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Damsel - “Sawa kaka, lakini nina tatizo kidogo…”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Tatizo gani hili, atoti wangu?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Damsel - “Nimetembea kwa muda mrefu mpaka miguu yangu imefura. Nikuonyeshe?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Yes my atoti. Onyesha enigma hiyo miguu yako nyororo :p”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Upon lifting her dera dress, the damsel exposed her feet. Unlike her face, the ‘feet’ were dark and extremely hairy. When conman @Agwambo leaned in to get a closer look, he noticed that the feet had hooves and shared a striking resemblance to those of a donkey.[/SIZE]

[CENTER][SIZE=5]https://live.staticflickr.com/196/493803801_d3f2f5cd17_b.jpg[/SIZE][/CENTER]

[SIZE=5]“HUWIII! MAJINI!” The enigma screamed as he ran for his life.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo spotted a TukTuk which he swiftly hopped in and ordered the driver to take off. Noticing that his passenger was visibly shaken, the driver decided to question the enigma.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]TukTuk driver - “Kaka, wasiwasi mingi ya nini?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Jatelo, hutaamini. Kuna binti fulani nimemrushia mistari akaniambia miguu yake inatatizo. Kufunua dera, binti huyu alikuwa na miguu ya punda!”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]TukTuk driver - “Ala! Eti miguu ya punda?! Kama zangu?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]The TukTuk driver proceeded to lift his trousers exposing his feet, which also resembled those of a donkey.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Heart racing, confused, petrified and filled with adrenaline, conman @Agwambo hopped out of the moving TukTuk and ran to his house without looking back.[/SIZE]

[CENTER][SIZE=5]https://c.tenor.com/HmUVsDKWFr0AAAAC/see-ya.gif[/SIZE][/CENTER]

[SIZE=5]Reaching his compound, the enigma decided to relieve himself at a pit latrine adjacent to his house. Conman @Agwambo came across a stray cat which lay at the entrance of the pit latrine.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]“Omera you don’t obstruct the enigma! Useless!” - Conman @Agwambo shouted before violently kicking the cat out of the way.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=5]https://c.tenor.com/s3oBwIvBhrwAAAAM/kick-the-cat-kick.gif[/SIZE][/CENTER]

[SIZE=5]Later in the evening, conman @Agwambo decided to puff a cigarette and reflect on the strange events which occurred earlier that day. Next door was his landlord, who was heading out to purchase some groceries. @Agwambo noticed that the landlord’s walk had changed unusually.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Salam Aleikum sir. Why are you limping?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Landlord - “Si ulinipiga teke ulipoenda kuhara burukenge hii!”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo arrived in Nairobi eight hours later.[/SIZE]

Funny as hell. One thing though, you write well.

[SIZE=6]Umesahau - was seen running & holding his falling trouser![/SIZE]

Day made

@patco kujia konyagi, chips mwitu na maji ya mfereji sasa

Hakuna running with falling trousers

Very nice story. Agwambo finally failed in his attempt to eat a kunguru

:D:D

:D:D:D:D:D

@patco = @WIGSPLITTA = @T.Vercetti

:D:D:D:D:D

Personally I’ll never go back to coast, last year after the semester ended I looked forward to a visit there out of curiosity of the sandy beach, warm breeze… I booked a plane on a Friday and got a place to stay pale diani… Fast forward… On Saturday night at around 2.50pm I heard a cat meowing quite loudly and sporadically on the bedroom as if moving one from corner to the other then a lady voice started to call me straight from where the cat voice was…“Dr kerre…!.. Dr kerre…!.. Kuja uone.” …I was so frightened I almost urinated on myself… I yelled out as if in a verge of death… Only to be sobbed up later that perhaps it was a nightmare… I packed my stuff and left at dawn.

I have heard cats making the voice of babies at 2am in the morning many times and by calling out the name of Jesus, they have always gone silent… And yet some of us here dismiss Christianity as we have been discussing with @TrumanCapote in another thread!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[ATTACH=full]402205[/ATTACH]

It’s True big cats cry that way while in Nakuru a plot where I stayed there were cats which used to cry like babies even where am staying currently not nakuru a different town pia kuna cats zinaishi kwa plot they do always cry the same way. It’s just a normal thing

Why did they suddenly stop crying when I prayed in the name of Jesus?

Coz you scared the shit out of them when they’re mating. Cats are very secretive so any noise will get them alerted. Nothing Jesus there. Hata ukiita shetani, same result

No. I never prayed aloud at all… not audibly.

Paka huwa wanapiga kelele hivyo wakimate. Nothing serious.