[SIZE=5]A couple of years ago, conman @Agwambo relocated to Pwani in hopes for greener pastures.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]One Saturday afternoon, the conman decided to visit the main city determined to ‘osha macho’. Shortly thereafter, the enigma came across a petite, lightskin Pwani damsel - clad in an emerald Dera dress. Aroused, @Agwambo made his move.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Hujambo Binti? Kwa majina najulikana kama Sylvester Otieno Tinga Enigma, lakini waeza kuniita Agwambo. Nawe unaitwaje?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Damsel - “Naitwa Lulu :)”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Eish yawa! Umenipendeza dada. Si twende chumbani pangu tunywe kahawa na mahamri? Nina njaa kama burukenge ;)”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Damsel - “Sawa kaka, lakini nina tatizo kidogo…”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Tatizo gani hili, atoti wangu?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Damsel - “Nimetembea kwa muda mrefu mpaka miguu yangu imefura. Nikuonyeshe?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Yes my atoti. Onyesha enigma hiyo miguu yako nyororo :p”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Upon lifting her dera dress, the damsel exposed her feet. Unlike her face, the ‘feet’ were dark and extremely hairy. When conman @Agwambo leaned in to get a closer look, he noticed that the feet had hooves and shared a striking resemblance to those of a donkey.[/SIZE]
[CENTER][SIZE=5]https://live.staticflickr.com/196/493803801_d3f2f5cd17_b.jpg[/SIZE][/CENTER]
[SIZE=5]“HUWIII! MAJINI!” The enigma screamed as he ran for his life.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo spotted a TukTuk which he swiftly hopped in and ordered the driver to take off. Noticing that his passenger was visibly shaken, the driver decided to question the enigma.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]TukTuk driver - “Kaka, wasiwasi mingi ya nini?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Jatelo, hutaamini. Kuna binti fulani nimemrushia mistari akaniambia miguu yake inatatizo. Kufunua dera, binti huyu alikuwa na miguu ya punda!”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]TukTuk driver - “Ala! Eti miguu ya punda?! Kama zangu?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]The TukTuk driver proceeded to lift his trousers exposing his feet, which also resembled those of a donkey.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Heart racing, confused, petrified and filled with adrenaline, conman @Agwambo hopped out of the moving TukTuk and ran to his house without looking back.[/SIZE]
[CENTER][SIZE=5]https://c.tenor.com/HmUVsDKWFr0AAAAC/see-ya.gif[/SIZE][/CENTER]
[SIZE=5]Reaching his compound, the enigma decided to relieve himself at a pit latrine adjacent to his house. Conman @Agwambo came across a stray cat which lay at the entrance of the pit latrine.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]“Omera you don’t obstruct the enigma! Useless!” - Conman @Agwambo shouted before violently kicking the cat out of the way.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=5]https://c.tenor.com/s3oBwIvBhrwAAAAM/kick-the-cat-kick.gif[/SIZE][/CENTER]
[SIZE=5]Later in the evening, conman @Agwambo decided to puff a cigarette and reflect on the strange events which occurred earlier that day. Next door was his landlord, who was heading out to purchase some groceries. @Agwambo noticed that the landlord’s walk had changed unusually.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo - “Salam Aleikum sir. Why are you limping?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Landlord - “Si ulinipiga teke ulipoenda kuhara burukenge hii!”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Conman @Agwambo arrived in Nairobi eight hours later.[/SIZE]