Remand/prison stories

Confessions of karis a former kamiti inmate:
“Let me not lie to you …remand is the worst place for any human being to live, no matter how tough you’ve been thinking that u are…that’s the place you will break . Sasa ukishikwa na makosa ya kijinga kama ku rape, utachunishwa managu design ya gangbang na mcoosh haina lubrication, itatoa mafuta yake from duodenum or pancreas, huko hawajali. After several back shots unajikunja kwa corner ka kuku imenyeshewa.That sh*t is traumatizing AF. Ukishikwa na makosa ya kuua wanawake…men there will make a woman out of you .Ukishikwa na makosa ya kipumbavu kama ulevi , kuiba kuku , lazima uwe na pesa ya kununua gang yako .Ukishikwa na wizi ya millions bila ya murder…inside there you’ll be praised, hata makarao watakusifu but they will ask for throat sanitizer. So u must have a trustworthy friend out there akuletee mihela .You wont be f**d kama unapesa…but be sure utatongozwa .Hao majambazi walizoea kukulana daily wakawa sex addicts , huko ndani inabidi tu wajipige kifua waseme, @Nachunisha Majamaa Sukuma !!.Brathe usiwai fungwa , na ukifungwa make sure uko loaded…utaishi vipoa sana ukiwa na pesa !”
Meanwhile leteni izo hekaya ASAP:D:D

Sema ulichunishwa sukuma na @Panyaste★

We have two talkers here that have been to prison, real prison not remand, and they have never spoken about their experiences inside. Yet this is an anonymous forum. What does that tell you?

Mbwa

Ghasia takataka umbwer choo chafu ya manispaa

Aiiiii hebu search. Hekaya zimetolewa…kuna moja hapa ya shimo la tewa last year

By @duad
Many moons ago nilikuwa unfortunate kujipata kwa karao station Jogoo…tuka stuffiwa kama sardines walevi, wezi et al. After headcount midnight, ‘fresher’ wale hawakuwa na kakitu kama fegi au doo tukatupwa nje na ‘wenyeji’ tulale corridor . Usiulize ata choo, ilikuwa haina stima and was a dark and forbidding place na stench kali sana…one ‘helpful’ jamaa aka suggest tuingie cell ingine on the right safi na haina watu. some guys entered na wengine tukabaki corridor. wacha morning ifike tukaamshwa na nduru… kumbe ile cell ni ya wanawake na ni marufuku wanaume kuingia ! Nway kutoka ni mpaka watu wenu wawakujie na hakuna mobile siku hizo…

By @karema-hitI
Hmmm…let’s see.

Central police - twice
Pango police - twice
Shauri Moyo police - a few hrs
Railways police - a few hrs
Nairobi area traffic - a few hours hapo nyuma ya reception like ten times
High court holding cells - around five times
NCC holding cells - like five times
Karuri police station (freezer) - twice
BuruBuru police station - a few hours once
Industrial area policepolice - a few hours once
Muthaiga police - a few hours once
Embakasi police - a few hrs once.

Most were drunk and disorderly, others traffic offences na of course sitting on kanjos flower pots pale inje ya Nairobi cinema

Hujafa sio ?

Niko gangari

What about hizo jela zingine za outside Nairobi, experience Ni same?

Jifunze kutoa hongo

By @kingolonde
Was once arrested at whilst coming from drinking and dry frying at Bombolulu, and thrown in the cells in Central Police, Mombasa. On getting into the cells I almost threw up. The stench would make even the toughest housefly to flee. One cop told me 300 bob, and I sleep on the corridor.
…“afande niko na mia mbili”.
“Ngombe wewe, kwani ukinywa haukubakisha ya emergency?” Leta hio na usizooe".
(some bugger in the cells)…“.Angeitisha matacore ungetoa?”.
coomermarcore wewe, shenzi, retorted a pissed and hangover-ed me.
In the morning the charge sheet was prepared…drunk and disorderly was the charge, and we were lined up to board the police land rover which had been parked reverse.
Some lanyes were the first in and sat comfortably like they were in their cribs.
After 5 or so people had boarded, one of them shouted “afande gari imejaa”.
Bad mistake there.
A cop came and asked “ati nini?”.
“Hii gari imejaa,” retorts lanye.
Cop comes back with that stout kafimbo called bubudiu, and started clobbering the abiria in the land rover mercilessly. Everyone squeezed back until half the damn thing was empty bana.
Afande looked in the land rover and sarcastically asked" imejaa ama iko nafasi?"
Lanyes in unison…'iko nafasi".
We were squeezed in like badly cooked pasta and driven to court the petty offenses court.
Fortunately, upon alighting, the first person I saw was the prosecutor. We used to kamua sisters.
He laughed,almost dying.
To summarize, the least, the charge sheet did a Malaysia 370, and I went home

Timaam!

Men, you ve made my 1st laughing out loud on new year! :smiley:
Jeeeeez! Cell si imemebeba Ghasiaa zote za Jamuhuri!

This had the potential to be a highly intriguing thread. The hindiot @Administrator. 's ineptitude is what prevented @Starscream from finding more hekayas that were posted on this topic over the years.

@uhondo umeongea ukweli