Hekaya by @kush yule mnono
In my first job in the gulf, having free internet inside our shared aboard was a plus and a privilege that I used well well.
Around that time fb was not that popular as it is today. So being among the few wajuaji kwa kampuni who had acquired a laptop and got connected to the internet, I decided to be a little mischievous. I created a pseudo account with the aim of having fun. I then shopped for some beautiful photos of a random Tanzanian chic on tagged.com and used them to make the account look real purposely kuweka waKenya fulani kwa kambi box.
After getting a couple of friends from without I started requesting for friends from within. I went for wale walikuwa wanajifanya wajuaji while nlikuwa najua ni mapimbi wa kawaida and managed to rope in a couple of them with a few fisis sending me their friend requests.
So I laid out a game plan to have fun messing with them, the whole deal ikiwa ni kupima ujinga ya wanaume fulani. Kidogo kidogo my fake fb account ikaanza kupata traffic, mafisi wanatupa lugha wakijua ni kamsupa fulani ka 254.
The first victim was one idiot Benso, my roomate. Tuliwai pitana naye sometime back na hio story tukakanyangia but I wasn’t done. So nilianza na yeye kwanza akaingia box.
Being that we were all working in the same company, I knew all that went in there and that’s how I got to know that Benso would be going for his vacation in a month’s time. So chats zetu mwenda mostly dwelt on when he would be in 254 ndo tupatane apewe ikusde. Trust me men know how to inflate their ego and like they say you can be anything in the virtual world and my ‘prince charming’ was no different. Akanidanganya ati yeye ndo supervisor wa warehouse while mimi nilikuwa najua tu poa yeye ni mtu wa mkono. Anyways I was just having fun so I played along.
Countdown ikaanza and soon enough akanisho in one of the chat sessions that he should be in 254 in a few days. I even asked him to get me a kapresent akikam. The irony of it all was that, Benso being my roomate came to me to ask for suggestions as to what to buy for a special someone and I made a wild suggestion that he fell in love with instantly not knowing that the so called special ‘someone’ was yours trully (Kush)
After being away from Kenya for a whole year finally siku yake ya vacation ikafika na akaondoka akiwa amechangamka kuenda home. In one of the chats he had asked for my phone number to make communication easier to which I politely declined for obvious reasons (taking precautions not to blow my cover) instead opting to use fb inbox to communicate.
Kuland Kenya, Benso akatuma inbox to let me know yuko area. I replied with a, “I can’t wait to meet you”. We agreed to meet during the weekend in Naivasha town since that’s where I was supposedly working and living.
That planned saturday happened to be my offday so I had all the time in the world kutulia in my room na kufanya kazi ya huyu mujamaa. Nika log in na kungoja fala akam online. Kidogo akapost mbica amepiga na boy wake fulani kando ya toyota nze with the status, “all is set and ready to take over Naivasha.” True story, mujamaa alichukua moti ya car hire and drove all the way to Naivasha in the company of his friend akiwa sure atapata mlebo anamgoja huko, bila kujua aliwacha ‘mlebo’ dubai. He even went ahead to book a room akijua hio night itakuwa wacha tu.
Come afte when we were to meet nkaenda offline mpaka 6 jioni. Kulog in napata messages kibao vyenye nmemueka parking. I still had one final assault before kufunga game. Akanipa jina ya hoteli and I promised kumpata huko around 8pm. I kept him busy on fb with the hope that I was almost there til the last minute. That was the last he heard from me nkamblock. In the midst of all this he still acted like a gentleman.
When his vacation was done, Benso alirudi kunipanga vyenye ali dryfry huyo mungikiress alafu akamchuja while both of us ‘knew’ hakuna kitu ka hio ilihappen. If only angejua who the wicked ‘princess’ alimstood up was, angekuwa amenyamaza.