Phylis

One key escapade I can recall in my younger years was a day that may have perhaps marked the onset of my adolescence. Story.

I started attending a boarding school at a very tender age. To be precise class 3. In our school we had both day scholars and boarders but given the challenges that came with commuting to school and remedial classes in the evening, nearly all ladies were boarders but a good chunk of the guys were not. So matters proportions, the number of lady boarders was nearly twice that of guys. Among the ladies, was one of the most beautiful ladies I had ever seen back then. Her name was Phylis. Phylis was one of a kind, the rare species. She was half Kikuyu half German and perhaps as expected, she came from some wealthy family. Among the classmates was my favorite person, British. British was a nickname that had been given to the lad because he also happened to be a crossbreed. A Maasai and a Briton. Hawa ni wale walizaliwa kule Laikipia when the British soldiers were deflowering and raping Maasai ladies left, right and center.

British and I got along quite nicely because we were the ‘cool’ kids in that class. Watu kutoka jiji manenos, and at with a decent mastery of the English language which made us popular back then. One key incident I can recall was when a certain teacher asked, “Where is Mercy?” Some lady retorted, “I have left her kojoaring.” This left some of us in stitches and the teacher singled me out asking what would have been the correct word, which I responded with vigor.

ff. So British and I had for a long time admired Phylis and she could often respond with a warm smile when we approached her, as we said a lot of sweet nothings. We even promised to teach her swahili, which we did religiously. So one evening tukiwa preps, we decided to take it a notch higher, and utilize our chance to tute her to express our feelings. So as boarders, we had pink, flowery and nicely colored writing pads that we used to write letters to our parents. British and I took out our writing pads thinking through how best to express our feelings to her. We wrote a couple of them and chewed, but eventually settled on the following:-

British: Leo Phylis utapata mtoto.
Shamsudin: Leo Phylis tutakudinya sawa sawa.

We passed our notes to Phylis who was sitting a couple of desks ahead of us. She smiled and it really felt good. Phylis’ desk-mate was one Caroline. Looking back, she must have been related to the Mutuku one coz ile umbea na mdomo ilikuwa na huyo dada, wacha tu. No wonder I hate Carolines by default. Phylis happened to inquire from her on what the word “tutakudinya” meant. Things escalated real fast and the next thing you know, the TOD was aware of the notes and picked them.

The next day the deputy headmaster came and picked us from class. Questioning ikaanza.

Mnajua kudinya? we responded in chorus, hapana.
Mnajuau Kutomba? hapana.

Wueh, all that he said was “go backa to class.” (He was a Lunje)

Moments later, tukacheki walimu watatu wamekam class led by the deputy. He called us to the front and handed us our notes. “Kila mtu asome yake out loud”, he said. We did that and the reaction from the other pupils even made things worse. What followed was 15 brutal minutes. Nyandege, “leta hii nyama ya serikali.” He was referring to buttocks.
Tulinyoroshwa simultaneously bila suruali mbele ya kila mtu, so we never had a chance to look at Phylis’ reaction.

Phylis parents had of the saga and decided to send her to a different school.

fff, years later kindu class six. Tulipatana na Phylis when she was visiting her grandparents ocha. I got a hug na nikaonyeshwa nyonyo. Back then, That was more than the present day village threshold.

PS. Caroline, is now a single mother with four kids. British is winning in life, and is a DJ in the UK.

This is so wrong in so many levels.

Hehe … hapo hadithi imeweza bwana @Nyandege lakini acha nkuulize tu, kachichana ka class 3 kanafaa kuitwa lady ama girl?

how old was shamsudin?

Kwanini mliachana na Caroline??

Yaani tuseme nyi mkiwa class three kazi ilikuwa kutombana tu…was I born in the century?

I was barely 10.

Lady. Cool kids lingua haha

Hakuna kutombana ilikuwa hapo. Theory tu. When did you first engage in such? Muwe honest.

:D:D:D. Kids write those words but don’t actualise them

Hiyo time hakuwa ananyesha na pia sisi labda hewa tu ndio ingemwagwa.

Boss, without comprehension reading is nothing. Put into context.

Subliminal!

You called yourself a guy while in class 3?

FYI, I became a school captain that same year despite the ordeal that befell me. Mark you, we had classes 1-8.

so tuseme hii umala…ulianza kitambo.

Wewe uko hapa KenyaTalk, British ako U.K na Caroline ni single mother. Na character wa nne kwa hii hekaya Phylis ako wapi ama ako aje nowadays?

Anasafisha wanaume rungu aliko.

you mean kuwa kenyatalk is an achievement? thinking of including it in my cv.
2015- current,kenyatalk,responsibilities;editor,reading threads and correcting villager’s grammar.

Hapo sasa nmekuelewa