s a result of this Corona pandemic I have been forced back home for the longest period since 2010. Talking a walk around the hood often brings back nostalgic memories of my past brighter youthful days in the hood. One particular special memory relates to a time when we had to create a fake cop to intimidate someone due to the immense pressure that faced me then. The genesis of the issue was a result of brokeness that accompanies post form four life and the need to make a quick buck.
One of the mboches in the hood let me call her Ann happened to have saved her monthly salary and decided she first and foremost needed a phone to accessorize (solicit money from her distant and nearby relationships). In pursuit of the phone Ann contacted my best friend then Tosh for a phone because he seemed well connected to the black market since it was the only avenue that could yield phones at bei ya mkulima prices (insert mboch). Amongst the specifications of Ann’s phone requirements included a phone with a memory slot, a camera and ability to access the internet. Back then such a phone was described as simu ina kila kitu! If I could take you back, the 2008 to 2011 period was heavily punctuated by an influx or cheap loud Chinese phone brands. Phones that had been equipped with a subwoofer and a tutor. While flagship Erikson and Motorola brands powerful enough to play mp3 and video format cost a dime then, a substitute Chinese brand cost almost a quarter of the price with albeit similar specs and in some instances have the added benefit of converting television signals to live television. The preciousness of the phone back then culminated in its consumption chain creating more jobs than the Jubilee government in the form of phone brokers. So my best friend back then Tosh became a broker of sorts but specifically specialized in the lucrative phone segment due to idleness and high rate of unemployment. WhenTosh got the order from Ann akanichapia vile pesa imeiva juu atachukua phone from the phone thief Saddam at 2k and sell it at a premium price of 3.5k. True to our expectation Saddam had a Chinese phone brand he was selling at 1. 5k as the last price due to a biting cash crunch and the need to make a quick buck (Sema deal kuivana) . Tosh had 1k to spare akawachia Saddam as down-payment promising to finish the balance after kukaa na simu aone kama iko poa yet he knew was after post sale transactions. Tuka ishia na Tosh tukauza simu for 3.2k after lengthy negotiations nkapewa Mia mbili yangu ya Macho which was sooo much by the then standards na me nkapotea. Two days later I meet Saddam ananidai punch yake. Eti Tosh alinipea nimuwai, I try to explain akanishow mli chukua simu wawili mtalipa wawili. Nkajua hapa huyu mjinga na Tosh Kuna kitu hawaniambii. Mind you this is a person with a history of savage fights and imprisonment as a minor. My instinct told me huyu ananitafutia shida juu hio unnecessary of 500 sikua naona ikiwes make. The next day Tosh akatokea home kwetu na genge lake la mtu tatu anadai balance yake ikabidi nitumane wamshow siko. Hapo akamshow my messenger deni Sasa imepanda ni 600, ferkin ferk!
Nka kutana na Tosh ma baadae ye akadai alilipa deni na haelewi shughuli zaidi inatokea Wapi. Hio day tuka ishia ku tafuta Saddam na Tosh we clarify on some issues hatukumpata. Jioni nkiwa shughuli nka kutana na Saddam akiwa Maji chewing cud. Alinishika mashati na kuwaa so dramatic vile namuibia. Nka promise nalipa kesho kujitoa kwa mix knowing too well Hakuna pesa napata kesho yake but for the sake of my own security wacha nidanganyane. However, Saddam couldn’t let me go scot free and threatened to strip me naked auze nguo zangu to recover his monies if at all sitakua nimemlipa by the next day. Mimi nkajua shit has hit the fan since this bugger is keen on forcefully extracting 500 from me.
I had a young cousin Jack who despite being young had a very bulky frame and looked older than me. Nkaita Jack nkamtafutia a sleek suit official shoes and a tie to match it then we proceeded to Saddam’s place while I maintained my riff raff look. Kufika kwa gate ya akina Saddam kulikua na three more young fellows who I believe were his accomplices. Before you get Saddam’s gate you’re seen before the final corner to their gate. Saa time tuli fika kwa gate nkatoa slipper moja na kuslap pillar ya gate shouting Afande Saddam ndo ule! Simu ilikua yake! . Jack now in an authoritative voice shouted Saddam ndo nani? Kuona amekujiwa na karau juu ya kashfa ya simu kijana wa watu akaruka fence na kupotea into the nearby maize plantation. Wale wengine in a trembling voice Waka anza jitetea "mkubwa Saddam ndo huyo amehepa. Mathake ashatoka nje akisema hii wizi ya simu itakuja fanya Saddam ashikwe. Tukajitoa hapo kama Jack ameni shika nguo kama mhalifu but nkajua deni imeisha hivyo. Next time we met with Saddam akaniuliza mbona anatafutwa nka mshow Ile simu ni ya kuibiwa lakini mimi mzazi amenitoa ndani. Akanijenga punch nsi mseti. Saddam lived for a couple of years until when he died after being caught with stolen goods.
Story pale mtaani had it that he was the transporter of stolen goods since thieves had robbed a shop and hid stuff on a nearby maize plantation. On that day wasee walimuona na Mali wakamsimamisha early morning hours the next day. However, pikipiki ikakataa kuwaka kabisa despite being new and had been fully functional the previous three or so minutes. Worst part is when the family went to claim the motorbike iliwaka na single kick
The last paragraph is kindanof not comprehensible. Ati Saddam was tranporting goods with nduthi but akakua waylaid na wenye goods na nduthi ikakataa kunguruma?? Ni kama ulichoka ukaamua kumalizia malizia mbio mbio
Ilikuwa yafanya vizuri sana, yangu hata saa hizi yafanya kwa my home network ukiwa jikoni unatazama kile kinatazamwa living room. If you zoom in utaona hiyo ni Disc Science kanaonesha…
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