I have witnessed this scenario twice. A man from poor background married a girl from rich family. At first things go on smoothly but a few years down the road shida zinaanza.
When my buddy used to visit his old folks ushago the born tao kids would not spend the nights kwa cucu wao since there is no electricity, walikua wanakodesha hoteli kwa town center. These among other things caused them to separate and eventually divorce.
Just check the case of Keroche slay queen and his beach boy.
Hio story ya kulala kwa hoteli ukienda ocha i fully support.
I remember kitambo tukiwa bado watoi in primary na secondary anytime we went to visit granny mostly we had to spend a few nights huko.
Ilikuwa inabidi you share beds with cousins who used to permanently live there. Shida ilikuwa cousins mara wamekojoa bed or beddings smell makojoo, unapata bed haina bedsheets na ile mattress cover imeraruka and you are sleeping directly on a very dusty sponge.
Other times mnapatana mko wengi and suddenly you are sleeping four of you on the same bed…wawili kwa kichwa wawili kwa miguu. Hakuna kuoga juu ata hujui bafu ni wapi (guys used to bath kwa room ndani). Kwenda choo ni shida…hio pit latrine its dark, imekojowo juu, no tissue but gotta use leaves or if lucky newspapers or old exercise books.
Siku hizi lazima kurudi home juu gari iko. If for some reason there is a need for a sleepover i drive to the nearest big town na kuingia lojo huko.
Chimbeni borehole ama kisima halafu pipe the water na mtafute stima. Huwezu lala soko ukiwa kwenu.
What part of Kenya. Have you ever considered building a kibanda just for sleep overs.
We were also the same until my old man built. Sharing rooms na vile kulikuwa na chawa. Those people in shags have feet built of steel. Chawa aiwezani. I remember by the time we came back, you have to pluck 10 jiggaz from each foot. From under the nail.
Loved this when I was young. Hapo ndio ulikuwa unapata chance ya kumanga tudame twa ocha. Had a distant relative angeniamusha usiku nimpeleke kukojoa. Unamumulika torch n within no time umeanza kukula vitu.
huko ushago i have to build a small crib very soon esp when i get a family, my dad has a big house that i can comfortably spend the nights, my grand parents also left a huge stone house that relatives sleep when they are around, shida ni am not comfortable there , i have to put up with so many issues…
That said , marry some steps not far from your social class,
A friend married a daughter of some rich family, his kids cannot even go to ushago, his parents have to go visit him to see them…
huyo bibi yake hata hawezi kifika ushago … shida tupu
Kweli kabisa. Huwezi toshea kwa nyumba ya babako. Dad’s and grandpa’s houses are for your kids and their cousins. Lakini hata ukioa mtu ambaye kwao ni wadosi lazima akubali kuja kwenu. Kama hawezi, basi sio bibi yako huyo.
A relationship has many many many moving parts. In my view summarizing a relationship to high finance of one party is not accurate.
[SIZE=7]All other kinds of relationships still end regardless[/SIZE] of how well they fit an external financial frame that [SIZE=7]society deems okay.[/SIZE]
Normally ningeagree na wewe. But according to some survey US wakifanya wakaona money or how couples view it was the number 1 cause of breakups cheating was number 2. Watu hugloss over that but venye mnareason kipesa huleta mashida ama zinaunganisha watu. And people born from very different economic backgrounds most likely mtabishana sana and then now add raising kids with different mindsets on how to acquire and spend wealth. Marrying very far from your socioeconomic background huleta disaster for long term relationships.
Fools!.. Yaani ata hamnge enjoy the novelty away from your sanitized city lives?..
Halafu since you were soo developed… mbona msipeleke hiyo development ocha pia?
Am sure budget ya kujenga Choo ocha is less than 100k kila kitu…
Amenichosha sana huyu jamaa… Na hiyo mindset…
Na utapata hawa ndio wale Wana set standards tao, living in leafy suburbs and throwing rounds in pubs yet nyumbani roots ni aibu tupu…
Hii shida huanza na how you market and sell your family to your fiancée or spouse…
If you are always hating and bitching on your own ‘poor’ family who would want to be part of that… And that’s really a sad thing to do… Hata kama hamskizani home…
You’ve got to ease her into your family… And no lady would refuse to come to your place on account of your state of finances…
It is stupid to spend your meagre resources on a rural home that you rarely use. Dead capital they call it.
I hope you appreciate US is a very different culture to ours in terms of marriage, eh?..
Money spent on housing needs is not capital. It is insurance. It is a safety net. It is a platform from which to launch more enterprising ventures without fear of your bottom coming apart… When you are building your skyscrapers…
That said, you don’t have to break the bank… Jenga kitu reasonable… Like just a couple of modestly sized rooms…
But oh, I forgot you have to go all out, and set standards for your villagers when you build…
You are making the assumption that MTU hajajenga town so all the safety net as you call it is to come from a mostly idle rural home. Weird.
I am not assuming, I am expecting that hata akijenga town amalize… Ajenge ocha pia… Obviously priority ni kujega town kwanza mahali unapata direct and immediate benefits… Halafu ujenge ocha… Halafu ujenge holiday home pia ukiweza…
Acquiring and developing property is the only reasonable initial storage of an income, when you are young… In my view…
You cannot be an effective businessman able to think creatively and innovatively if you are still dogged by ownership issues of the properties you reside in…
Huo ndio utamu wa kwenda ocha,wazazi wako ndio walifaa wa upgrade maisha ya wazazi wao by kuwatengenezea nyumba mzuri iko na hizo vitu zote umetaja.
Chawa haiumi mguu ndugu yangu.Sema ni jiggers lakini hutaki ijulikane they can be found elsewhere apart from central province
As a man you must be very firm about going to your rural home. Your children may lose their roots of you are not careful. The novel rural life is very intriguing for children and may even open them up to the real Kenya and how people live. This prepares them for adversity in life.
Initially you can spend at Parents place etc and wife must adapt including cooking with firewood. It will be able to show obedience of your wife plus ability to deal with changed circumstances. Imagine if you lost it all in post election violence and had to begin all over in village or corona wiped away your jobs and savings. Most people divorce because wife cannot adapt and shouting starts in house and madharau.
Finally, you must purpose to build your own Rural house even if you must buy a piece of land nearby and build. That gives you room to set standards and keep healthy distance from relatives who are not always pleasant.