Latest statement from technophile @Nyamgondho Buon Kogello , Chairman Luo Council of elders Ongata Rongai Divison.

Dear Kenyans,

First of all may I start by categorically declaring that I @Nyamgondho Boniqua Oloo Buon Kogello, I am now offisially the only human in Kenyan who owns the phenomenal Huawei P50 pro smart phone! My huawei phone is registered 001 in the Republic of Kenya!

This phone that is now mine has a special Kirin chipset that offers mindboggling speeds especially when ayam watching Luo porn in 8K resoluson, 4:4:4 full pixel colour render!

Now listen here, if you do care to know and for those who like being in the know, I @Nyamgondho Boniqua Oloo purchased this phone at a mere price of only 8 thousand dollars U.S, cash upfront because the phone case itself is pure sterling silver which matches my grey Armani suit, but do I say.

Now suffice it to say that I purchased this phone at Samsung The Hub in Karen and shocked all the peasants in attendance who were flaggerbusted, discombobulated, discomfitured, disillusoned, disordered and totally disappointed as they watched me walking out hand in hand with my jaber Shantell Awinja back to my black E Klasse Kompressor yawa, but do I say.

Now my black mercedes E Klasse Kompressor matches my acidic black Ferragamo Italian designer shoes which I purchased online for only three thousand dollars yawa. Ayam a man of means but I don’t say!

Now I bought two phones, one for me and the other for my dearest jaber Shantell Awinja.

But moving on, some of you might be wondering why I @Nyamgondho Boniqua Oloo have been so silent since August the 9th. I have been busying myself with activities of technological nature, enlightening myself further you know living the soft life yawa, life is sot, time is presias yawa maber… you see I appresiated a long time ago that the Kikuyu nason will never appreciate or love baba suffisientli enough to vote him in as President of the Republic of Kenya!

I @Nyamgondho Boniqua Oloo hencewith decided early on in January not to vote because it was really a waste of my presias time. I decided instead to go sopping for my new Huawei Phone and later on watch the results on it’s 8k screen while sipping sampein on my balcony in Ongata Rongai…

But shock on me… it seems that my refusal to vote for baba Rayila Odinga , has contributed to his complete and total failure. Right now as we speak I have been contemplating suicide. I @Nyamgodho Boniqua Oloo have already started drafting my final will and statement where I bequeath all my wonderful gadgets to my brother Sanctimony Oluoch who lives in Eldoret but my dearest Jaber Shantell Awinja Wambui asked me why I did not love her enough to leave everything to her.

Yes Shantell is a beautiful brown Kikuyu queen from Nyeri and she convinced me that Rigathi Kasakwa is a man after my own heart and that he will zero rate prices on all latest Chinese flagship phones.

She also convinced me that we sal run for office together with Rigathi Kasakwa in 2032 and I will be his deputy and first Luo Deputy President of Kenya. You see I am a man of many firsts.

But I know that that is a tall wet dream. My dearest Shantell just wants my technical gadgets and my wealth. I have installed software into her Huawei phone which indicated that si is seeing a local plumber by name of Dedan Sambamba Waciuri from her backyard and so it is only a matter of time before we part ways. This is why you can never trust these okuyus.

[SIZE=5]Yours heartbroken, Sodomas Dolomite Boniqua @Nyamgondho Oloo Jajuok Jakajaka Jakatuokni Jakadikni Jakajaber…[/SIZE]

NB : Before I complete my full names I have decided that instead of killing myself, I sal leave this dry Kikuyu townsip known as Ongata Rongai and move to South Sudan where people observe law and order during eleksoneering process. A country run by sober thinkers who love technology just like me. A modern Luo society built by foward thinking riverlake nilotes who think like me. South Sudan will be my new home. Goodbye Kenya. Goodbye cruel Kikuyus.

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Ati Luo porn. Let me see how the sounds will go. Thop! Thop! Ooh Ng’ony mit aaah! Eeeiiii! Bi ang’othi ka guok. Thop! Thop! Eiiii iiii wololo sianda ber achwado sianda pap! Eiiii iiii baba! Wololo yaye!

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I’ve been looking for this pic, would have come handy during the election period.

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:D:D:D:D buttricia