Injured Lanye

So one time last year nimeamkia Saturday bila moods za kuingia job. And I was in a form of dryspell that I couldn’t really put a finger on(pun intended). So I decided to visit one smelly dingy joint in Nakuru called Three ways… Just for a stoney baridi and some eye cleansing.
I was busy minding my business, ignoring penchant looks from ladies of the night. By the way, in Nakuru they have never been of the night. They operate 24/7. One lanye, came and sat right opposite me and asked me to buy her a soda. Nothing peculiar, right?
Wrong… This particular one had injuries. It’s like she had a motorcycle accident the previous night, or the obvious cat fights. I didn’t care to ask. I was adamant. I told her I don’t have money to buy her anything… “Ata soda ya 50 sweetheart?”
The animal in me kicked in. I saw an injured gazelle and I decided to pounce on it. “I don’t give free gifts… You will have to earn it.” I retorted… She said ok," mia mbili basi."
I knew she was hungry and wouldn’t refuse any amount I offered. “150, ama nimalize soda niende zangu… Ata sikuwa nataka kukulana leo.” Not to my surprise akasimama na kuniambia nimfuate… And I liked what I saw from behind.
Wadau, that is the most extreme I have ever gone in my lanye eating escapades. I had blushed off better looking ones, petite ones and gone for one, though she was obviously young, she had a big derriere. And she had so many stories to give as I munched. All the time between, cries of " woi, pole pole hapo nimeumia." I am not proud.

You dont say. …

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present To You

Wait for it…

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Episode 1 : Hekaya Za Jaba Ya Asubuhi

Three ways kumbe ndio jina ya hiyo pub. I had to google location ndio nimejua ni wapi. Kuna siku nilienda hiyo club nikapata live band ya Nyadundo, kali sana. Malaya wote wa Nakuru wanaishi hapo. I thought I knew Nakuru leo nimejua sijui. Lakini you are an animal.

I hate Nakuru

Why

:meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi::meffi:

Ati last year na tunajua ni jana

I miss Nakuru

Mimi siwezi Osha Rungu outskirts of Nairobi HIV thrives among prostitutes there

Kwani unaoshanga rungu bila protection?

Mnatumianga CD??

Yes, wewe hutambui? Na ni wanawake gani hao?

Hapana tunajifunga bag ya polythene na bladder

Na Muranga pia

I don’t think someone would brag about shagging an ugly prostitute and paying for it. Someone stupid enough to post about it is probably thirsty enough to do that.

Inaonekana dry spell is real. Hapo kwa kukula malaya bila CD is a big risk. Heri niende bungee jumping Sagana.

It’s been a @LongTime since I last saw this much @Nonsense

I tell you it happened

Ni last year… But what do I know? Na ni wewe unaniekeanga diary?