Hodi hodi naingia. Salamu nimezipata.
Lakini kwa vile ada ya mja hunena na uungwana ni vitendo, licha ya mimi kutoa aburani [sijakosea tahajia hapo, ni msamiati wa Kiswahili huo] kuwa sitoingia huku, nilichokisikia leo kimenifanya nibadili uamuzi na kuja kuweka kumbukumbu sawa.
Hivyo, kwa nilichokisikia na baadaye kukiona, nimeamua kuzirejesha salamu.
Nikiwa sina hili wala lile, huku nikiwa nimeshikilia slushie yangu ya machungwa mkononi na nyuzijoto zikiwa takriban 36 huku nikisubiri muda ufike nikamchukue Kisura toka kanisani, nikapokea simu ya rafiki. Baada ya majuliano ya hali, nikashangaa mwenzangu ananiita mnafiki.
Nikaguna kwa mshangao! Halafu nikaanza kujiuliza…‘nimefanya nini tena mimi Ngabu?’ Baada ya sekunde chache kupita nikamwuliza huyo rafiki…‘kunani kwani?’
Ndo akasema kwamba eti majuzi ile [Alkhamis nadhani] tuliongea nikamwambia kuwa mimi sipo huku KenyaTalk. Sasa baadaye siku hiyo hiyo au kesho yake eti akaona kuna mwanachama anayejiita “Nyani Ngabu”.
Basi, huyo rafiki kuona hivyo akahitimisha moja kwa moja huyu “Nyani Ngabu” wa huku ndo yule yule Nyani Ngabu halisi/ mkongwe wa JF.
Hiyo ndo sababu ya yeye kuniita mimi ‘mnafiki’ leo. Kwa sababu nilisema sipo huku KenyaTalk halafu baadaye akaniona nipo nachangia.
Nilishtuka kiasi, siyo sana, maana sasa nimeshazoea haya matukio ya watu ambao siyo mimi kujifanya wao ndo mimi. Wanajaribu na kujitahidi kuiga swagga lakini kamwe hawatoweza fanikiwa
Sasa kusema ukweli mimi huku nilikuwa sijawahi hata kuja. Nilikuwa hata sijui kunafananaje. Ila baada ya kuambiwa kuna mwizi wa swagga zangu nikasema siwezi kuuacha huu uzushi uendelee bila ya mimi Nyani Ngabu mwenyewe mkongwe kutia neno.
Nikaamua ngoja nijisajili. Nikaomba link toka kwa desh desh, naye bila hiyana akanipa. Shouts out to you beautiful. You rock girl. True definition of black girl magic.
Kwa hiyo nimekuja hapa kuweka rekodi sawa kuwa HUYO ANAYEJIITA ‘Nyani Ngabu’ si mimi yule Nyani Ngabu mwenyewe/ mkongwe wa JF.
Sijui lengo lake ni nini hasa hadi kuamua kutumia utambulisho wangu wa JF huku. Tena hadi ‘avatar’ anatumia ile ile ya kwangu. Mimi Nyani Ngabu wa JF huku nimejisajili kwa jina la ‘Nyani Ngabu Halisi’ na pia ninatumia ‘avatar’ ile ile ya siku zote.
Kwa wewe mwizi wa swagga zangu…come on now. You know that’s some sucka shit.
Even though they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, here’s some newsflash for you: there’s nothing flattering about your swagga jacking. And if I’m going to keep it all the way 100, that’s some gay shit.
What am I supposed to think now? That I’m on your mind 24/7? You go take a shit and all you see is me staring at your stanky ass…you go to bed and you dream about me…you get a tingly feeling up your leg and all you think is me tickling you? FOH you bit.ch ass lamo.
That’s some bullshit and you need to cut it.
If you are a fan of me just let me know. The Nyani Ngabu Fan Club is always open for new members. I don’t discriminate. Just holla and I’ll let you in.
Else, carve your own path and blaze your own trail. You will never ever be me.
Mtu mzima kuiba utambulisho wa mwingine watu tukueleweje sasa? Watu dizaini yako ndo mnakuwaga ma stalker nyinyi.
Talk about mtu kuwa “mgonjwa”…then look no further than this poseur calling himself ‘Nyani Ngabu’.
Nimesikia pia huko InstaChat na huko SnapFace kuna mtu/ watu wanajiita Nyani Ngabu. Mimi Nyani Ngabu mwenyewe sipo kabisa huko kwenye hiyo mitandao. Hivyo kuweni makini na huyo mtu/ hao watu.
Dhumuni la mimi kujisajili leo na kurusha huu uzi ni kuwatanabahisha kuwa kuweni chonjo. Zaidi ya hapo, hamtoniona kivile humu. Panapo majaaliwa tutaonana tena JF au pengine kitaa [ambapo lazima patawaka moto tu, kwa mazuri au mabaya].
Wenu mtiifu, kwa wengine rafiki yenu, kwa wengi wenu adui yenu,
Nyani Ngabu Halisi aka Baba Kisura aka Your Wife’s Boyfriend aka Your Girlfriend’s Favorite JF Member aka The Always Imitated But Never Duplicated.
