Kuna time I had a TZ @Jirani alikua ameolewa na mungich mzee wa 74 years the sme age na @Mzee mzima ama ni @Abba and she was around 30 years old hivi. Nilikua nashindwa mbona mungich @Motokubwa ako na kitu fwain yellow yellow hivi na hawana mtoi. (More on this later). As jiranis, I was a friendly guy to them as we were on the same floor. So kuna time the wife alikua anasema mimi ni trash talker juu tukipatana nilikua namuenjoy vile tunaweza kuzaa mzungu but as usual ilikua inamjazz juu mimi sifichi white. One day nikaskia knock kwa hizo mlango za apartment za chuma na iko na kioo ya choo. Nikafungua nikaona ni bibi ya jirani. Akanishow @Some Say nataka kupiga nguo pasi naenda hizi function za wamama na pasi yao imechomeka akitumia. Nikamshow ni sawa nikamsort pasi. Akipiga pasi mimi na mdomo yangu nikaanza kuongea. Namuuliza ni how hawana mtoi. Akanishow labda anataka mtoi na mimi. NIkamshow ongea tu but nikaenda hapo nikashika mahaga manze alikua amebeba zile si ndogo na si bwaku.
Hata haku react nikaona hii nikitaka ni kitoweo haitaleta Ktalk CSI kama ile chef bonoko wa pork na ugali @ChifuMbitika . A few days later after huzi ameenda shamba, TZ akakuja na nguo mob za pasi. Nikamshow wewe jisort juu kuna job nilikua nafanya kwa lappy. After ameanza kupiga nguo pasi, nikajiuliza kwani mimi ni MBS (Mkamba Bladfwakin Simp) kama Ngafana Mutua? Isa nooooo. Nikaingia hio bedroom alikua anapiga nguo straight nikamshika mahaga nikamshow niko blue balls like a fwakin. Akacheka saa hizo namdara mbaya. Akafanya blunder kuinama kuchukua nguo ilikua imeanguka. Hapo mkono ilikua ndani ya ngotha nikipapasa kinembe. Ilimwasha joto aka surrender. Manze nilikamua manzi nikamwaga ndani. Huyo dem alikua @MTINGIZA KITANDA!!! . Sijawahi mwaga @njoti nikaachwa catatonic state hivyo. Nilikaa nikama nimelala ICU. Hata hio job ya client nilifanya next day.
Akahepa sikumuona for a few days labda juu ya aibu. But after a while nikaanza kukamua @Mimi Huwa Namwaga Ndanii . By then I had already bought my house. Akakuja kujua pale nimehamia nikaona ako na ball. Nikamuuliza kwani ni how. Akanisow ball ni yangu but huzi anajua ni yake but nilenge hio risto nisiwahi ambia mtu. Nikaona hapa @Jehovah Wanyonyi yuko na mimi kabisa kuna beta simp itanunua daipers. Ndio akanipatia hekaya kwanini alitaka ball na mimi. Kumbe huzi ni ghaseer sana kama @uwesmake . Alideenyer sistake last born akampatia ball na akazaa. Alikua amejam na hio mungich and I was being used as payback. But nikafanya cost benefit analysis nikaona hio sekete is worth all the trouble. Akanishow hata vile nimehama ni poa atakua anakuja kunisalimia. Nikaendelea kukamua tu.
Akazaa na wakahama hizo sides za bypass so ikakua hard kupatana. But she still kept sending me photos of our daughter. Out of the blue one day akanicall akanishow sistake mkubwa anakuja Nai nimsaidie place ya kulala akitafuta place ya kufanya biz for one month. Nikamshow isorait. Sistake kuja nikampatia the smallest bedroom. Mnajua mwanaume lazima aangalie kama kuku itameza mtama. After 2 weeks nilipatana naye akitoka bafu nikamshow si yeye ni yellowyellow. Nikamuuliza hio towel ikianguka nitakua kipofu. AKanishow haiwezi kuanguka. Nikamshow wacha nione. Katika hiyo mvurutano ikaanguka macho ikakua safi. In a few minutes nilikua ndaaaani ndaani kabisa nikipiga nduru “you are a tiktator” kama yule MPig Bifwoli Wakoli. Huyu pia anajua game but ilikua mtaro kiasi. Nikasema hii nitaitumia kama ile maji chafu ya kupoesha moto.
Akafungua biz na akahama. But ilikua nikiwa na blue balls namcall ananisort. Later baby mama akanicall kuna sistake mwingine alikua amekuja but hawasikizani. Nimhost for 2 weeks akifunguliwa biz yake pia. Nikamshow ni sawa. Kwanza huyu alinishow nisimange atakua amejam na mimi juu ya mafeelings vile ananipenda sana. Sistake alikua 23 years old yellowyellow pia. Same story pia hii nilikamua but daaamnnn huyu dem alikua anajua game like shiet. Nilimkamua karibu daily but mpaka sasa mimi hukamua huyu sistake. Alinishow hata niini ikifanyika nisiwahi ambia sistake sisi humangana.
Baadaye baby mama akaanza kukujia @shoti_mzito but nikajua ni mtoi wa second anataka. Manze she is sooo good hunitingiza kama kayamba saa ya sadaka church. Akapata ball akazaa baby boy. After mtoi afike 1 year old mzae mungich akadedi. So after mazishi na “Mourning Period” akakuja na watoi tukakua huzi na wife. But huyo siStake mdogo hukuja man cave ananitoa nyugres saa zile nataka kuchange diet. But naona at this rate huyu pia anataka mtoi na mimi juu ananiletea mafeelings na itakua balaa.
So mkiona nimepotea kiasi mjue niko Suguta Valley nikifukuzwa na @Gaza kama pokot rustler nahepa small small wangu. Sitaki kua na 2 wives who are sisters.
And that is why I never fwak Kenyan women juu game yao iko downest sana. Kazi ni kifo cha mende anaexpect nifanye kila kitu. But hii nitaweka thread ingine to advice our Kenyan sistas to up their sekete si kupanua miguu kama grasshopper jamaa afanye kila kitu.
Hekaya iko fiti lakini bila DNA naona unaweza kuwa unaleya watoto ya marehemu. Na hii tabia mumeanza ya kutorokea suguta mtawacha. Rustlers tuko na enough shyte to deal with … sasa mnataka kutuletea heat ya karura huku kwa valley tena.
