Those of us old enough tunakumbuka with nolstagia the E-sir era.Same table sat kleptomaniax,nonini,nameless and alittle bit of Jua kali.Back then when genge was genge na si hii upuzi ya ku- redefine genre na lugha haieleweki.I believe You’ve all heard of the ngumi mbwegze and ashokde bullchieth.Back in the day music was art,from the lyrics to the beat,from the vocals to the interludes.Alafu rap battles za izo enzi zilikua legit staff full of creativity.Tuendelee ama tusiendelee is still a masterpiece even by today’s standards.(Most of you niko sure hamjui all that dopeness is encased in a diss track)We all jammed and sang along in unison, bandanas on our heads, oversized tshirts and jeans alafu mkono imeshikilia balls ile signature style ya hiphop.Mautamu tu.Good old days those ones.
Anyways iyo time I wasn’t ati old enough kuingia club so I used to party infront of the telly.Those were the same days when Prof J na akina Ferooz pale Tanzania walikuwa wanaanza kutesa.I knew I was destined for the stage so I had to start preparations early.I knew all East African artists by name and could sing along to their songs no matter the language.That was my calling or so I thought,and I had to put in the effort.
Like any aspiring musician, nilikua na audience.I had an amazing fanbase.Now,every artist,from musicians to poets, architects to authors require that one fan who believes in their thing 101%.Kanye had his mom.Picasso had his autistic sister.I had mine too.Lucky bastard.This 6 year old girl hapo kwa neighbourhood was the altar of my synagogue.The very gasoline to the embers of my art.She trully believed in me.Her and her 5 dolls.After binging on all these songs and videos kwa tv,I used to go uko kwa parking lot(play ground)to her and employ whatever dancing style I had sourced and give her a hearty performance.She used to genuinely love them.I guess thats where the connection was forged.A bond between an artist and a fan.Our 6 years age gap not withstanding.
[CENTER]Now this girl was an old soul at heart.She was a mother straight from the womb.Nakumbuka she used to brush my eyebrows and pop my pimples ndio nikae smooth and dashing kama msanii.That was our kalongolongo .Our ‘cha mama cha baba’.[/CENTER]
One thing,a twelve year and a 6 year old getting along that well si rahisi,kwanza wakiwa si siblings.Gender differentiation that happens in school makes it even worse.I suppose our personalities did the trick.Being a natural mother plus an early bloomer,she nurtured my folly and believed in my ‘smelly butt’ talent.On the flipside nimekua late bloomer.Enough reason why kunyesha kwa kitanda nimewachia form 3.So yeah.I was physically older but psychologically a toddler.
She was a baby sister and more.I taught her how to ride a bicycle.I taught her how to put a byro in the compact disc and rewind.I didn’t learn alot from her apart from plaiting dolls and the fact that i was going to make a great musician some day.She was nevertheless still a kid.
Growth,just like death,is inevitable.In two or three years kijana nikaingia ile stage banae.Voice kidogo ikaanza kubreak kifua nayo ikaanza kuvimba.Nikaanza kunotice brown thighs;and in a nutshell,nikakua aware of my sexuality.
Back at home relationship yangu na Aggie ikakua sivyo tena.For the first time nikaanza kuona how childish she was despite her intellectual maturity.Our interactions became infrequent but not obsolete ju again walikua immediate neighbors na family friends.By then my own siz was about 5 whereas Aggie alikua 9.Wakakua good playmates, not by choice but by circumstance.
Joining highschool meant being away from home for long.Mnajua maisha ya boys boarding vile yo hukua ngori.Bad food,kuoga once a week,kuibiwa shopping,kulamba pocket money within 2 week na kusurvive kama mrasta after zimeisha.Midterm ni kwa auntie and only long holidays ndio kijana hapa nilikua naishia mtaa.Life is funny.We all say blood is thicker than water but friendships don’t care.I used to miss home,not the food neither my parents nor my baby sister whom i adore so much but Aggie.We now used to talk less and infrequently,but seeing her after all the shit in school was the balm to my tired limbs.I longed seeing her.
Aggie was nosey.She asked me how highschool life was,what subjects I loved and which ones I disliked.What the food was like,how many friends I had and whether they thought I would be the next E-sir.Hahaa.Elders sauti after kubreak I just had to drop the whole bullshit.Hakuna vile ningeimba na sauti imegeuka ya uncle Fred Obachi Machokaa.But I couldn’t stand seing the shine in her eyes dim.So I had to lie.A good natured white lie.The only sin that Vatican allows.
Time.Time flies wadau.On this East African sunny day malango ya Lenana yanafunguka and I make my final exit.Maisha ya highschool si mchezo.Imeniharden beyond my years though nikikaa chini kukumbuka I am usually greatful.
As I ride on the shuttle nikielekea Nakuru mtaani, anxiety creeps in.I had recently seen my parents,Siz and my newly born baby bro during prayers day.Food nayo time ya kcse hukua special diet so si food inanipea kiwewe.Something…something that I couldn’t really put a finger on kept appearing and disappearing on the dashboard of my head but
leaving me no adequate time to really bring it to focus.Migrains inaanza.Wasiwasi mingi na baridi.
Nafika mtaani and the poison of my conscience is unraveled.Aggie na her family walikua wamemove out.Gaddamnit.I don’t know how and why but I felt berieved.Even with my newly acquired masculinity, I was in the brinks of breaking down.You never know how attached to someone you are until they are no longer there for you.I reminsced all the memories we had together and honestly kuna tumaji twenye I couldn’t hold in.I let out a gush and wept.Wept for something that after all those years I still hadn’t yet understood how much I cherished it.
I learnt that they had relocated to Mombasa baada ya mzae wake kupigwa transfer.He worked with the railways.The news did not fill the void.Infact,it intensified my pain… I became bitter with myself for being such a p*ssy. Waheshimiwa,attachment can break even the strongest of men.Samson na Adam watatupea hekaya tukienda uko juu.
Results za exam zilitokea.I had scored just right.As anticipated I was among the 10th percentile that formed the scum of the broth.Top layer wanangu.My parents were happy and proud.Mzae ashatafuta gazeti mradi aone tu jina.Mokoro naye ni masimu left right and centre.Mimi naye nashangaa hii mohahe yote ni ya nini and they definitely expected it.
Anyway In some sort of way I got sucked into the celebrations and forgot my worry.Campus life ishakua real.I gotta celebrate this mehn.
Time is a master healer of everything,even the deepest of wounds.With time,only a scar is left for a sign must stay to remind us of what happened.Of what we loved and lost.I forgot about Aggie though the memory of her was very much alive at the back of my head.Campus life was nothing but adventure after adventure.I made friends.So many friends,losing some while making others.But deep down,somewhere in the dark cracks of my ventricles kuna kitu ilikua amiss.No friend matched Aggie but sikua najua.I completely forgot about her.
Four years are over.Kijana navishwa ngofia na degree natia kibindoni.Campus life huwa tricky, juggling between soo much shit unaweza run mad.Its now all done and dusted.Sherehe bab kubwa imetayarishwa mtaani.Drinks and food here and there burudani inaweza sana.Wale uncles wenye hawakuwai okolea mimi na senti nikihangaika pale maseno wako proud ajab.Wtf.Ma-aunties ni maleso wakiserve muthokoi,mokimo stew na mishere.Neigbourhood mzima pale Shabab ilikua invited.Then ile feeling nilikua nayo pale kwa shuttle after kumada fourth creeped back.Fuck that shit.
Ilianza tu subtly.Kidogo ikaaccelerate.A mild migrane.Kidogo wasiwasi na kabaridi.Nikaamka nikaenda na uko nyuma kupata kahewa fresh.
My head is on my hands while suppressed between my thighs.A cold hand touches my shoulder.Do you guys believe in magic?Okay mmeokoka.Do you believe in miracles then?I can’t remember clearly kama nilipona but I am very sure I felt different.
Ever met a familiar stranger?Or maybe,ever felt a familiar strangeness?.Yaani hadi atmosphere inachange and you feel enclosed in some new presence.Thats the feeling.I was tipsy so don’t take my word for it.I’d rather you take my word for it ju drunkards don’t lie.
There she was.I didn’t know her but somehow I did.Her head was wrapped in a white hijab.Only her face was dazing in the the fast falling darkness.Those eyes carried in them life.And love.Oh God.I had missed that look.She was no longer the chubby little girl obsessed with dolls but a fine young thing strapped in a black dera.
I was in my early twenties and she was obviously in her mid teens.I guess she was seventeen.In her eyes I saw purity and tenderness but a few inches down I could make traces of some pearky boobs.I swallowed hard.We hadn’t talked a word.Surprising how we understood each other in silence, despite the empty years.She dropped down on the wall and sat down hugging her knees.Tukakaa ivyo for minutes.
Strolling machuoms pale kwa hood,I reached for her hand.Spiritual connections are real.Am not talking about hizi za kijiji za malanye.I was at peace.Nilikua nafeel as though natembea on the balcony of the universe.Serinity banae.
We catched up.Nikalearn that she had converted into Islam as her father demanded.Actually their whole fam converted.She was the firstborn kama mimi and she now had three more siblings.Tukabugia zile kahawa tungu mwitu za ten bob mtaani tukipiga gumzo.Back to the venue tukatafuta kaprivacy tukakula story hadi usiku wa manane.I couldn’t get enough of her voice,what with her acquired coastal accent.A joy to listen to.
We kept in touch ata baada yake kurudi Mombasa.A point to note,our bond was not sexual.It was purely fraternal or maybe agape. I don’t know.She was my kid sister though up until now she sounded maturer than me.
She was still the voice of conscience.But ata nijaribu aje I couldn’t dare dismiss the thought of how beautiful Aggie had grown.Damn.
Ule pasta wangu aligrease afew hands here and there and I landed a kajobo pale royal media.Mshande haikua mbaya sana to a mbashera mbuoy.Nikajinyakulia some kacool one bedroom pale Umoja na nikaingilia fombe kidogo kidogo.Life wasn’t that bad.I enjoyed what I did.Day after day.Week after week,year after year.
Somewhere there in between nililose contact na Aggie.But as fate would have it she joined UON.
Anapiga year one,year two,year 3 and during her 4th year we bump into each other pale Alliance Fraçaise akiwa supporting cast in the play I had come to watch.
She is now a woman.A very beautiful woman of kitu 23.Since nishanunua kasecond hand motti tunadrive around town tukitafuta kachilling spot.She is a vibe kama tu kitambo.she has a good sense of humour and I love it. Together we form a duo of well fed hyenas,vicheko tu.
"Kama hujui hoteli nzuri mbona tusiende kwako ukanipikie?"She starts in a very sacarstic tone.
“Ama huna nyumba mjini we yahaya tu”,she continues porking me.For those who don’t get the context of yahaya,its a song by Judith Wambura Mbibo aka lady Jaydee of a man who lives expensively but hana makao.
“Ama mkeo ataninyonga hahaa.”
I don’t know why I reacted.I quite don’t understand the impulse to prove her wrong;that i was still unmarried.But nilichapa U-turn kuelekea mancave.
Before kufika maskan tukaingia apo kwa Karanja wa mbusheri tukachukua kilo na afew spices.Mamboga mboga leo tuwachie sungura.
Tunafika crib and just like kitambo tukicheza kalongolongo,we both get busy.Obviously sufuria ya ugali iko kwa sink kama kawaida.Hajifanyi mgeni.She cleans kisha anaseti maji ya sembe.Sitting room,theatre iko full volume.This girl is at home banae.And I feel good about it.Naandaa kanyama pale ilhali ananyonga unga hii side ingine and before long dinner is ready.
Aggie is a foodie.Never understood how she maintained such an athletic body.Plate was empty within minutes.I look at her empty plate and back at her well licked fingers and we burst laughing.Ananyemelea yangu na tunaendelea.Theres usually something cute about girls who eat without minding what you think.They just eat as if there’s no tomorrow.
She walks to the fridge and chokoras things there as if looking for something she had put in there.Nothing.
“Umeficha wapi hivyo vichupa?”,she asks as if kuna zenye alikua amenipea.A sweet girl this one.
I tell her that I am trying to get out of the alkohoo thingy and I don’t keep some in the house zisilete triggers.
"Sasa kama wewe haunywi wengine tuteseke ju yako?Hivi hii sima ntateremsha na nini?Ama nipige magoti unipe milkshake?"She starts her comic ranting while shaking her body,arms akimbo,the uswahilini way.
Don’t blame me for not getting the jibe.My intellectual ram is below average and my mental processor is worse.I am that guy tukiwa kwa mbogi alafu msee acrack a joke nitaanza kucheka after wengine wamecheka wakamaliza.Am that slow.But I already made peace with that.But here,I just couldn’t think on that lane about my baby sister.
Now Munira aka Aggie was enjoying teasing and making me uneasy.She was a thespian,and made me play audience.It was pay back time.She got in and out of different characters in quick successions.At one point she was dancing salsa,the next she was doing kidzomba.Mimi nimeketi tu not able to process all that was happening.
We all have that one friend with whom we are comfortable letting out our inner child.Aggie was comfortable hapa.She was naturally introspective lakini kwangu she let out the madness and we both laughed and sat on it.She showed me all the characters she had managed to nail pale Alliance Fraçaise.Let me admit that Aggie was a thespian but not an actor.She exhumed comedy and character in who she was and not what the character required her to be.And having been in the game for long,I knew she wasn’t gonna become a great actor.But si ni payback time?Hahaa.To bad i didn’t have dolls.
After parading all her madness,the queen was tired.She was all sweaty.Madem and women in general hukua very funny creatures.Kumbe all that time she was letting off steam.Ndio maana khupipi alikua anapiga mdomo for 3 straight hours alafu akinyamaza anakua very tender.On those days coochie was usually heavenly,served on golden plaited glass platters.
Aggie anaingia bedroom and emerges covered in a towel.She walks past me,grabs her handbag and proceeds to the bathroom.As I watch her,something inside me shatters. Wacha niwape descripshen ya huyu mtoto.First Aggie is of medium height in comparison to the average girl.She wasn’t lean nor fat…hapo katikati.Naskia elders mnaita wao slim thick.That one.Ngozi nyororo colour ni ya kdf haijaiva mosoori.And she was beautiful.I won’t explain that.Dimples check.Huge saucy eyes check.Small mouth with full lips check.Meno meupe kama njoti ya punda check.
This is nolonger the little girl that I was trying to hold on to.This was a grown ass woman.She was by far more beautiful than any girlfriend I ever had,no doubt.But she was my sister.The little girl to whom I danced and spitted crammed lyrics, hoping one day to make it to the stage.Did she remember that?Maybe she did.What with her staging theatrics for me afew minutes ago?Pay back?
She emerges from the bathroom looking more stunning.Her long hair was damp, sticking all over her face.Oh Lawd.
Mimi sijui ni ibilisi gani iliniingia but Abdalla aliyaanza ya kwake.
“Utaangusha macho we nawe”
That jerked me back to reality.I had stared too much.Hahaa vitu nilikua naimagine wacha tu.I swear this girl was teasing me.Shuup…huyoo akaingia bedroom.Kidogo nikiendelea kuadjust toja kuficha the misbehaving Abdalla mlango ya bedroom ikafunguka and Alaas!
Why do girls look stunning in stupid clothes?Aggie had taken my well ironed orange shirt and put it on.Kuna vile alikua amecheza na sleeves because one of her shoulders was bare and the buttons mismatched.Cleavage nayo ilikua ya titi moja.Being an official shirt,it ran all the may to afew inches above her knees.She looked gorgeous.Her makeup was done.Not much,just the eyebrows and the lips.Alafu sijui izo baby hairs zilikua natural ama kuna vile.But all in all she looked ready for the runway.
"Nakaa vipi?"She asked smiling,making those little jumps as she made a 360.Damn,as she rotated,those two globes jiggled independently.I swallowed hard.
The fluffy sandals on her feet really accentuated the lazy look.Her long hair was pulled in a long ponytail.Jamani.
"Kwani sipendezi?"She asked,corking her head sideways and pouting.Wakuu we can all agree that utu tufeminine mannerisms ndio hufanya tuchizi banae.I was nodding as if possessed.I tried finding my tongue to complement her but ram ya kichwa ikawa haigwesi allow.
"Kaoge basi twende Carni."Now gentlemen this chille wasn’t your ordinary mbish.She was had her way and she babied everyone who belonged to her.I was being ordered to take a shower and my timetable said otherwise.Ukiwa mbashera mbuoy shower hupigwa na schedule.Nikaingia pale nikapiga a quick one ju asubuhi nilikua nishaoga.
As i turn the knob kufunga maji,naona kakitu kameanikwa kwa kamba na si kangu.A white lacey piece of cloth.Kama amefua thurware…Ah haisuru.
Sense of fashion kwangu huchezea zero.Jeans na tshirt ndio the best I can do,so thats what I do.Mguuni nawekelea loafer ya blue.Kipara ishaanza kunyemelea so nawekelea kanusu mkate kichwani and out I emerge.
She looks impressed.Since nipunguze kamnyweso nimekua nikilift so misuli kidogo ilikua imeanza kukua visible.
“My little boy wavutia.Haya basi.Hima tukawaone kina Shinski.”
Watu mkona memory na hesabu yenu si ya Kicherera mnaeza elewa this is around the time Shinski ametoka majuu na ameachilia that ‘So now you know’ and the ‘malaika’ bangers.
Kwa parking lot as is expected gari ikakataa kunguruma.Shetani lazima ashome lada.Fuck.
But ju timing ya Allah nayo hukua on point kama zile suti za Ty Ngachira,my good neighbor naye ndio anafika and seeing a brother in distress anawacha gari uko nje na kupea mimi ufunguo.Brocode 101.A man with a girl in tow is an emperor and should be treated as such.
Along the way jicho moja iko barabarani ingine inakula paja.TSC haifai kuruhusu ndume naendesha gari with semi naked women kwa co-driver.What the fuck is TSC?Hahaa NTSA.Wueh sawa tu.
Anyway the Lawd doesn’t sent you manna on a rainy day least you catch pneumonia.Sikukufia barabarani.Tulifika pale salama usalmin.
Drinks polepole huku tunatwala mziki.Aggie had my social awkwardness fixed.She was in control.Wasanii upcoming wanapiga kelele kwa mic sisi nangoja the man of the day.Some rhumba does it for Aggie and we take to the floor.Miondoko ya early 2000 nimeivia ajab.Some little touches and refurbishments here and there and I outdid everyone hapo.Aggie naye ni kidzomba mistress;turnings na shakings ndio zake.Mad combo i tell you.
Magizani ndio sasa wasanii wamejenga jina wanatake to to the stage.Aggie amekua too much and I start dancing with her at an arm’s length least I burst.Tuweke shosho ndistanz.Abdalla amesirika hasira sirasira.Erection ishaanza kukua painful banae.
“Tulipokua praimo,ulisema umeninoki nikakuseti kwa odijo…”
I was lost in the moment.Enyewe Sauti sol did give us timeless gems back then.Whoever compares them to wakadinali is a smelly butt.Senzie nambari wan.Aggie mbele yangu bringing her particulars and balancing them proper kwa my ledgers.What a feeling.Nimembao ile ajab.And then as i hold on to her posteriors,nadiscover wait a minute,huyu dem hana anything inside that shirt.
My blood goes on steroids and wasee wacheni kusema erections can’t kill.Hiyo ni upuzi.That shit can kill bana.
“Bado we ni yule yule nabado nakufeel baby vile vile,nikiwa nawe mi napagawa”
At this point Aggie turns and pouts,her big eyes lazy with booze.Kufa gari kufa dereva.Izi lips lazima nionje.Our lips meet and sparks guys.Sparks.Ile feeling pale graduation party inakuja fast and furious.The beast in me threatens to break loose.Nashika yeye butt cheeks navuruta yeye juu.She resists and pulls me by the hand away from the dance floor.Voice of conscience.
Dopamine imedrizzle kwa mwili,am all shaky and almost out of control.We all know the feeling.Ikipita hapa hukua direct blue balls.Kwa gari narecline kiti and motions her to straddle me but she declines.
"Punguza jazba baba.Twende nyumbani"Gaddamnit.Fuck the voice of conscience.
Kama city moshari haikuona mwili yangu iyo usiku then am here for the longest.Usicheze na the power of p*ssy.Hiyo kitu ni a mystery by itself.The 8th wonder of the world.Nikue tu na hardon proper na niambiwe senyenjero ni baada ya kushinda, I would surely shame hawa rally drivers.But ju nilifika salama,sifa kwa Baba.
Up the stairs all the way to 3rd floor where mancave was ilikua gropping and grabbing.At some point niliona anatembea polepole ikabidi nimebeba yeye hobela hobela.
No sooner had the door banged than the last button on that shirt spinned on the floor.Mambo ni mengi masaa ndio machache.Pin yeye to the wall.Hiyo haibambi.Geuza yeye kwa loveseat.Hapo hakuna enough room.Teremsha yeye kwa carpet.Haijaona maji miezi mbili.Rudisha yeye kwa ukuta.Miguu zake zinagive in anaangukia dispenser nyumba naingia mafuriko.We burst out laughing.Saizo mchipi imekataa kuunbuckle.Nikashika toja sideways nikapull kikomando belt ikakatika.We laugh even more.
I pull her to the bedroom but she resists.She opens the bathroom door and ushers me in.She’s in control.Chini ya shawa ni fondling,grabbing,licking earlobes and kissing.Mtu atupee manual ya foreplay jamani.Utalamba mtu wa kifafa earlobes with one hand on her tits and the other on her back azimike tu ivo.
Her control ain’t doing me justice so I take over.Chota yeye kama pesa ya Kimwarer.Toroka nayo.Rusha yeye pale six by 4.Its getting down.I taste the waters with my metacarpal tips.Mafuriko kama tu sitting room.
As i place myself properly to take the penalty,she holds my hand and says,“Na uwe mwangalifu mambo haya sijazoea.”
I was going to give it to her proper.Its as if my predecessors had not represented as per the constitution.
Hahaa.Hii kumbe ni gari mpya.Ata test drive bado.We all know the amount of patience required here is too much for a man of my demeanor.But nilijaribu.Mambo ingine inatakanga prior notice.That shit is usually hell.Almost an hour later and on the brink of giving up…shuup…utambi ukakubali kuingia kwenye kikoroboi.Finally wueh.KijashoAs i pulled out to pump again she jerked kabsaa and closed her thighs.Gaddamnit.
Blue balls was a sure bet now but her innocence was winning me over.Cuddled hadi almost midnight.Changed bedsheets and hit the shower to now retire to bed.No activities kwa bafu.But I was tender to her,very tender.
Under the covers,she immediately fell asleep.The fragility of her closed eyes was nothing but angelic.Natazama yeye naskia utulivu rohoni.Her breath ins deep and subtle, the breath outs tranquil;she was at peace.Like a little girl with no worries in the world.I scooped her little body and fitted it in my chest then zoned off.
A good sensation woke me up.Scratch good.Put heavenly.A heavenly sensation.You know the feeling of kunyeshewa then unafika nyumbani for some hot tea and warm clothes.That one.Now imagine all that awesomeness being directed to one body part.Diek iko katikati ya mwili and then the goodness of it spreads to the whole body kama peanut butter kwa slices.Oh Lawd.
I taught her how to ride the bike.But this?Its riding nonetheless.I taught her how to put a byro inside a compact disc and rewind.Gaddamnit.The irony.
I don’t know for how long she had been there but upon minutes of waking up,shetani akafanya ile kitu ngaez.Upon being chased from heaven,nashuku hiyo nongwe ilikatwa diek before irushwe chini.Anawivu ajab.Nikaerupt banae.
Na hivyo ndivo our friendship turned sexual.She became the woman of the house.But akilini nilikua nateseka sana ju iyo ndio period ED ilikua inaanza kutesa mimi.Maybe ju ya kuchoka mingi job.It didn’t last long though ju after ebola kutesa sana pale Liberia she was among the post-crisis team of volunteers kuenda kuoversee that things resorted back to normalcy.Operation kuisha alipata job Germany upon recommendations kuhudumia vikongwe.As fate would have it,she skidded and changed sides.Preference ikawa ni ya tongue na vidole tu.Nowadays namwonanga pale status with her love;some big bootied latino.Erection ikikubali siwezi mind kuwasample wote wawili.sometimes huwa naona ni kama ni mimi nilipea yeye mechi hafifu akagive up on shtik.Either way no, regrets.Am perfecting my fingers.Itchy fingers.