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  1. captain obvious

    People need to learn to mind their own biznez

    Keep your wives busy or they'll be so bored that they'll spend entire days following and snitching on hardworking hasoras.
  2. captain obvious

    June ishafika bana, mbona corona haimalisi sisi?

    @Electronics4u @D.... Mungai and other prophets of doom, explain yourselefus bana. Nimengoja corona iniangushe nikachoka. @Azor Ahai, expert wa ventilators, tuskume prediction ya massive deaths mpaka August ama? :D:D:D
  3. captain obvious

    Larry Madowo Predictably Gives a Personal Account of Racism in the Yunires States

    Hawa woke Africans si watatuonyesha mambo :D:D:D Yaani they're always itching to jump onto any bandwagon that comes along? Hata mimi I was saddened by George Floyd's death, but it's a little hypocritical to loudly complain about the state of affairs of a country that's hosting your black ass...
  4. captain obvious

    Birrionaire Namaliswa

    Maadui wa maendeleo wakikuendea kwa wale Voodoo practitioners wa Haiti, kwanza hii time ya corona. Aunt wa Harrier hapa si blood pressure itamuua? Msiniulize ni wapi, naleta udaku vile nimepata ghaseer nyinyi.
  5. captain obvious

    Azziad Nasenya's Mother

    MILF swaffi. Hapa ni kula coocoo na kifaranga wadau, na unalamba vidole baadaye
  6. captain obvious

    KOT Bonobos Exhibiting Their Bonoboistic Tendencies

    Hehehe, ati sahii hashtag inatrend ni #JusticeForSamuelMaina. Yaani hawa malaya wa KOT hawawezi achwa nyuma? Ati juu waliona #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd inatrend, sasa lazima kuwe na Kenyan version. I can just imagine the thought process before that hashtag was created... "Nani ameuliwa na Kenyan...
  7. captain obvious

    Photos of exhausted Tanzanians after typing A WHOLE PARAGRAPH in English

    Kizungu kizungumkuti. Naskia after posting a thread in English they must sleep for two hours to rest their overheating brains :D:D:D. Ni ukweli ama ni propaganda tuu? Constructive answers only, please.
  8. captain obvious

    Aoko Otieno

    Huyu huwa haweki slay queens. Ni hot slaps, sweeps, RKOs zikifuatana. Hii kitu walipewa bure kama injili, mbona wanalipisha :D:D:D
  9. captain obvious

    Now That Musito Vettel Is Leaving F1, Itakuaje?

    Okay, he only said he won't be with Ferrari from 2021. There are all these speculations over where he could head, lakini tuambiane ukweli, msito kama huyo it's either aende Mercedes or Redbull. He can't be seen anywhere near those mid-tier teams. Redbull and Mercedes have a solid driver lineup...
  10. captain obvious

    Sauti Sol's Potential For Projecting Kenya's Soft Power Is Being Thoroughly Wasted

    These guys have fans from all over the world. Cheki sample: Don't you fuckers see the potential here? Imagine someone from, say, Japan, who falls in love with Sauti Sol's music. They then set out to know more about Kenya. A few months later they book a flight to Kenya for a...
  11. captain obvious

    Huwezi tembea na subwoofer na afande anatembea na tweeter

    Aweke sticker ya "wide load" kwa huo mzigo banae
  12. captain obvious

    A question to village entomologists

    Why is it that sometimes there are soooo many mosquitos just buzzing everywhere, especially in your ear, then like the next day there's none at all? Where do these things retire to? Juzi nilitafunwa saidi, leo nimejaribu kuconcentrate na sijaskia mbu ata mmoja. Kumenyamaza kama maji ya mtungi...
  13. captain obvious

    Reverend Githu Naangamiswa Kisiasa

    I understand this little shit can be quite annoying, but he's a kid ya'll. Cyber bullies apana bagua :D:D:D:D Mwenye hii blog ameamua fake nyews ndio itamnukishia kitunguu. Just look at some of these headlines :D:D:D
  14. captain obvious

    Wenyenchi vs Wananchi

    Owners of capital vs "my fellow Kenyans" :D:D:D:D Where do you fall? Know your place and stick to your lane, ghaseer.
  15. captain obvious

    Birrionaires Under Sieke

    Gyms zimefungwa, so more people have taken up jogging and other home workouts. Majambas pia wameona opposhunetes kule leafy suburbs. Niliwaambia mkiweka hizo lockdown zenu na nyinyi pia muwe tayari kukipata. Mtego wa panya huwashika waliomo na wasiokuwamo. Heneway, how is it possible for these...
  16. captain obvious

    Judge Rules Against US Women's Soccer Team In Discrimination Lawsuit

    As usual, if you have a vagina, you must demand special treatment because the entire world has conspired against you. These ghaseers went to court seeking equal payment with the men's soccer team, but the judge ruled that they, in fact, were paid more than the tree holders. Of course the men...
  17. captain obvious

    Interview Ya Midget Wa Safaricon

    Huyu ni mbilikimo mkora. Vile anapima Ann Kiguta akijibu maswali, mungu saidia. Huko mbele naona tu machoos for Safcon subscribers. Huyu atakaza nut kushinda Michael Joseph na Bob Conmemore combined. On a side note, si carpenters wamekuwa busy pale Safaricom House wakipunguza height ya furniture...
  18. captain obvious

    MGTOW Post Template

    I mean, I nod in agreement to some of the threads/comments made by our MGTOW brodas, but they're beginning to sound like they all graduated from the same indoctrination course. This is what they post on average, just fill the blanks with random nouns/verbs/adjectives and it will still make...
  19. captain obvious

    The thing I don't get about Kenyan online sellers

    Okay, we all know the internet is crawling with scammers. Lets rule them out for a second. Lets say you're a genuine person who sells items online. It could be clothes, electronics, artificial hair, sex toys...whatever. You post in online groups looking for customers. Why the f**k would you use...
  20. captain obvious

    Kenyan Chochio Media Birrionaires Unhappy With Walibora's Rural House

    The man lived in Lavington, had a mercedes benz, received a steady cheque from publishers because of his setbooks, was a lecturer, journalist, and God knows what else. So he was doing better than most of us. He's also rumored to have had a family in the US, which if true, he was obviously taking...